UnNews:An open letter to Kirsten Dunst
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Because we use Facebook to update our UnNews Official Facebook Page we came across your video about selfies.
We hope you don't mind, but we have some feedback for you about it.
- Remember that if a person sees a celebrity on the street, whether the celebrity is talented or interesting or not doesn't matter. The important thing about you is your level of fame. The best actor in the world might be appearing in a self-penned production in Buffalo right now, and nobody cares. You are important only because you are famous.
- When a non-celebrity posts a selfie - especially one with a celeb - they (pathetic as it might seem) are seeking validation from their friends, acquaintances, etc. It's an unattractive form of egotism, but not a million miles away from, say, going to Hollywood and trying to become a movie actress.
- Talking of which: as someone who has dedicated her whole career to the commercial end of a visual artform, don't be surprised if people value what you look like over what comes out of your mouth. Look on the plus side: if it was the other way around, you may never have made millions of dollars.
- And of course, although it's rather improbable that your ideal world is, as this short film suggests, one in which people come up to you and "ask you questions" instead of taking your picture, bear in mind that appearing in Spiderman is not necessarily conducive to developing a reputation as someone who is interesting to talk to.
The UnNews Team