Zork

secrettrapdoor1	Score: 5	Moves: 0
> give bolt cutters back "Foolish mortal! You think returning my bolt cutters after stealing them will ease my pain? For this, you will die!" And you will. The Feminine-Looking Wizzard doesn't even show a hint of mercy toward you, a bolt cutter-stealing adventurer. Within milliseconds, the Wizzard casts a spell and turns you into a rather horrifying Grue. While still in a daze over being transformed into such a hideous creature, the Feminine-Looking Wizzard hands you an enchanted mirror. > look at mirror Darn, it's one of those mirrors that shows what you would look like as a human. Completely overwhelmed by your Grue instincts, you eat yourself, thinking that you are a delicious adventurer. *** You shagged the sheep, and are expelled from Uncyclopedia *** Would you like to log in to your account so you can vandalise some more, use your brother's computer, or turn off your computer? (type ACCOUNT, BROTHER, or SHUTDOWN): ACCOUNT BROTHER SHUTDOWN