Zork

WHO THE FUCK SUMMONED ME, MAGGOTS?!	Score: 99999	Moves: 453
> I summon R. Lee Ermey!!! Ehr...whaaaa? > I said I summon R. Lee Ermey - you know, Your Senior Drill Instructor. Okay, if you insist...hold on while I summon him... A really REALLY hacked off old man in a Marine Corps uniform barges into the room screaming "WHO SUMMONED ME SO RUDELY LIKE THAT? WHO THE HELL IS THE GAWDAMNED PIECE OF COMMUNIST SHIT WHO JUST SIGNED HIS OWN DEATH WARRANT?!?!" > Sir! This recruit did! Sir! Ermey yells, "I BET IT WAS YOU, NUMBNUTS!" > Sir! This recruit wishes to obtain the unobtanium crystal! Sir! Ermey: "THAT IS MY UNOBTANIUM CRYSTAL, NUMBNUTS! NOW DROP AND GIVE ME 69,105!" Unfortunately, just as you start knocking 'em out, a Grue comes along... > Oh no...not THAT... Yes...THAT. > OK, so where's the You Died banner? You don't get one. Now go do something useful. > Yeah, more like that Jamehec moron has been away for waaaaaay too long and forgot how to make the You Died banner, amirite? Uh...er...okay, you got me. So how exactly do I make that one? > It's "zorkdied", remember? Ah yes, now I remember. Here ya go! *** You have died *** Would you like to start over, restore a saved position, or end this session of Zork? (type RESTART, RESTORE, or QUIT): restart restore quit