Ultimate Yahtzee

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“WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Ultimate Yahtzee

Ultimate Yahtzee is a U.S.-based dice and mixed martial arts competition. Players in the sport use combinations of letters, numbers, and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

What is Ultimate Yahtzee?[edit | edit source]

Early UY events were eight- or sixteen-man tournaments wherein participants were required to beat three opponents in a single evening to be crowned Ultimate Yahtzee Champion.

With no weight classes, players could face significantly bulkier and taller opponents - these kinds of fights are referred to as 'Freak Fights' by UY enthusiasts.

"YAHTZEE!" said the famous tagline, after being coined by the infamous Yahtzaru, David Hasselhoff. Hasselhoff, the first Ultimate Yahtzee champion, has become synonymous with the sport, often representing the much-maligned sport to the media.

It has become a common misconception that Ultimate Yahtzee matches operate with no rules, although this is untrue; participants abide by a limited set of rules; techniques such as hair pulling and groin strikes are frowned upon but valid.

Ultimate Yahtzee - Then and Now[edit | edit source]

The brutal nature of the burgeoning sport quickly drew the attention of the authorities, and UY events were banned in almost all American states. To survive, the Ultimate Yahtzee Council redesigned its rules to remove the less palatable elements of fights while still retaining the core elements of eye-gouging and decapitation. Five-minute rounds, referee stoppages, weight classes, and limitations on permissible striking areas gradually made the championship approachable to newcomers. Notwithstanding, the 36-sided alphanumeric die still strikes fear into the hearts of those contemplating participation.

Today, Ultimate Yahtzee Championship events have become very popular in places like Japan, Brazil, Canada, and the United States, where matches are often seen on television's Pay Per View system. In the United States, championship fights are usually held in Las Vegas or Atlantic City, much like in boxing and time travel.

How to compete in Ultimate Yahtzee[edit | edit source]

Getting into Ultimate Yahtzee requires little in the way of specialist equipment. The 36-sided die is a given but often goes to beginners joining UY clubs. Additionally, a novice may feel more comfortable in a Judo giko/mail/kevlar.

When starting to play, it is unnecessary to provide one's weapons, with 'open hand' being a popular beginner style. As contenders progress and face more accomplished opponents, they sometimes find it convenient to provide a bladed weapon - wakizashi and daisho are good as well, as curved European cavalry swords. Generally, ranged weapons are considered too slow and unwieldy to be of use - one should not, for any reason, attempt to engage in a match with a medieval English longbow.

Some players have begun to work small, portable time compression devices (known in the circle as "flux capacitors") into their routines. UY is truly embracing the future, and fans can only hope that Mr. Hasslehoff will return to the ring to once again roll the big numbers (or a Z) and shout triumphantly, "YAHTZEE!"