Uncyclopedia:Accuracy

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Nuvola apps important yellow.svg This article may contain one or more inaccuracies or does not cite all of its sources.[citation needed]
The author(s) must promptly be executed.[Wikipedia Sez This Is False] Uncyclopedia contains no inaccuracies.[Wikipedia Sez This Is False]
This template may also be inaccurate.[Wikipedia Sez This Is False]
Uncyclopedia is not Wikipedia[wikipedia needed].

Uncyclopedia is the truth[1]. Therefore, everything in Uncyclopedia is true[citation needed]. If something in Uncyclopedia is not true[citation needed], then it must be corrected so that it is true[citation needed]. However, this will never be necessary because everything in Uncyclopedia is true[citation needed].

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about A for Accuracy[experts needed].

The Golden Age of Information: Pax Uncyclopædia[citation needed][edit]

“It makes me want to scream, shout, celebrate, cry and laugh, to know that I live in the Age of Uncyclopedia, the most glorious period of human history, in which all is illuminated.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Pax Uncyclopædia[Lincoln said that]

We live in the Pax Uncyclopædia[citation needed]: Uncyclopedia is filled with informative content of indubitable veracity[citation needed]. This unmatched accuracy was a product of a most ingenious technique[citation needed]. The Founding Fathers of Uncyclopedia foresaw that people would despise authority--that they will do whatever they were told not to do.[citation needed] So, the Founders, in their infinite wisdom, used reverse psychology[2] They asked for the world to write nonsense or humor and received Pure Knowledge instead.[Wikipedia Sez This Is False]

Independent studies confirm that Uncyclopedia content has on average -400 errors per 1000 sentences. [3]

Repentance of Heretics[citation needed][edit]

Some unusual seating arrangements were made for the visitors to the Palace of Knowledge.[citation needed]

Some have questioned the factual accuracy of Uncyclopedia.[citation needed] In September 2000, they were invited to a friendly debate with the Lord High Inquisitor in the Palace of Knowledge[citation needed], a medieval torture chamber purchased by the Uncyclomedia Foundation and converted into a luxurious dining hall, complete with amenities such as warmed chairs and electrical stimulation devices for the resuscitation of those who have fainted (physically or metaphorically)[citation needed]. After several days, during which screams of joy (at realizing the truth) were heard from the Palace, the truth-deniers repented[4].

Scientific Research[Wikipedia Sez This Is False][edit]

Many studies have been done to prove the accuracy of Uncyclopedia[citation needed]. According to the prestigious pee-reviewed journal Phallological Transactions of the Society for Marine Astronomy, Uncyclopedia contains up to 23.8% fewer errors than the Iraqi Ministry of Information[5] The Uncyclomedia Foundation also performed its own objective study, which found that 103.8532%[citation needed] of the information in Uncyclopedia was "250% true." [6]

Cite Your Sources or Die[citation needed][edit]

Accuracy will save your life.[citation needed]

To ensure superior credibility[citation needed], (if you can be bothered to do so) all sources must be cited[citation needed]. (Write {{cn}} at the end of every sentence that doesn't have a citation[citation needed]; It will show that what was being said is really a big fat greek lie[citation needed].[big fat greek lie]) All articles that do not have proper citations will be instantly deleted[Wikipedia Sez This Is False] and its authors will be devoured by those scary rainbow things that I keep on seeing everywhere.[citation needed][7]

You must use MLA format for some citations[Wikipedia Sez This Is False]. Unfortunately, for some mysterious reason that we cannot even begin to understand, the Modern Language Association has failed to create a format for some obviously reliable sources[citation needed]. For those, use these Uncyclopedia guidelines[guidelines needed].

Controlled Substances[citation needed][edit]

  • Hallucinogens should be cited with the following format:
    • Name of Drug(s). Dose. Last Name of Drug Dealer, First Name of Drug Dealer. City Taken In, Year.
    • LSD. 200 µg. Guy, Some. Los Angeles, 2002.

Electronic Sources[edit]

  • SPAM emails:
    • Last Name of Sender, First Name of Sender. "Title of Email." Email Address of Sender. Date Received.
    • Wilde, Oscar. "I am the truth"[citation needed] minluv@newspeak.oca 25 December 2005.

Interesting People Whom You Meet[edit]

For the protection of the privacy of the valuable experts who serve the greater good of our society, Uncyclopedia does not require that you provide the name of your sources[Wikipedia Sez This Is False]. You can just give a description of them[I think he had two arms and a nose].

  • One Person:
    • Description of Person. Year.
    • That Guy Who Was Passed Out and Smelled of Vodka. 1998.
    • That Person the Martians Want to Get. 2002.
  • One person being channeled through another person through the nether realm or the Netherlands or whatever...:
    • Last Name of Channeler, First Name. Name of Person Channeled. Means of Channeling. Year.
    • Frenya, Skeezo. Chief Jaguar-on-Crack of the Ancient Toltecs. Yahoo Messenger (Occult Edition). 1998.

When Should I Cite Sources?[edit]

A good rule of thumb to follow is to always cite sources when you have a sentence with the letter "e" in it[Wikipedia Sez This Is False][8]. This rule will always work, unless you have a sentence without the letter "e."[citation needed] If that happens, just cite the source[citation needed].

For example, let's say that you were adding content to the article You:


"You have a small penis [1].[citation needed] 'You' has 3 letters [2].[citation needed] An ant is absurd [3].[citation needed] The last sentence did not have an 'e' in it [citation needed].

References

  • [1] Spears, Britney. "EW! YOUR PENIS IS TOO SMALL-TRY OUR PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILLS." [citation needed]Spamalot@fakedomain.tk. 25 December 2005.
  • [2]'you' The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 205.[citation needed]
  • [3] Anonymous. The Anti-Insect Manifesto. London: Elite Press, 1337.[citation needed]

If[citation needed] you[citation needed] frequently find yourself conversing with giant cats who terrorize cities, you can use the cat's wisdom to improve the accuracy of our encyclopedia,[Wikipedia Sez This Is False] but only if you cite your sources[Of course you can't!].

Miscellaneous Sources[edit]

  • Demonic Possession:
    • Name or Description of Demon. Date of Possession.
    • Ethereal Dinosaur with Multiple Horns. 5 May 1999.
  • Them. We at Uncyclopedia understand what you mean by Them[citation needed]. We hear their howls too [citation needed]. Just use this format:
    • Them. Date.
  • Animals. Only fools don't realize that they can talk.
    • Species of Animal. 'Title of Communication.' Date.
    • Loch Ness Monster. 'Beware of geese.' 1873.
  • The Voices in Your Head can make valuable contributions to our encyclopedia[9]
    • The Voices in My Head. Location. Date.

Higher Standards[edit]

The [citation needed] next[citation needed] goal[citation needed] for[citation needed] Uncyclopedia[citation needed] is[citation needed] to [citation needed]attain[citation needed] 800% truth [citation needed]-1200% fiction[Wikipedia Sez This Is False]. In order to achieve this goal by 2017,[citation needed] every[citation needed][10] word[citation needed][11] in[12] Uncyclopedia[citation needed][citation needed][citation needed][citation needed][citation needed] should[13] be[14] cited[15]. By 2020, e[16]v[17]e[18]r[19]y[20] l[21]e[22]t[23]t[24]e[25]r[26] w[27]i[28]l[29]l[30] b[31]e[32] c[33]i[34]t[35]e[36]d[37][38]. This[citation needed] will[citation needed] help[citation needed] us[citation needed] achieve [citation needed]2600% accuracy [citation needed]. By 2030

References[citation needed][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][Wikipedia Sez This Is False][edit]

  1. "Uncyclopedia:Accuracy." {No it's not}Uncyclopedia, the Content-Free Encyclopedia. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2007. 2 January, 2007. <http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Uncyclopedia:Accuracy>.[citation needed]
  2. Conversation with my friend who thinks that straightjackets are fashionable. 1996.
  3. Al-Sahhaf, M. S. et al. (2007). Comparative analysis of accuracy and error correction in reference materials. Phallollogical Transactions of the Society for Marine Astronomy. 2(34): 897-923.
  4. "Conference on Accuracy with Inquisition Yields Surprising Results" (2006). Unnews.
  5. Baghdad, Bob (5 June 2001). "Statistical Analysis of Uncyclopedic Accuracy." Phallological Transactions of the Society for Marine Astronomy. Oxford: Oxford Dairy Farms Press, 1999.
  6. "Official Report." Uncyclopedic Committee on Factual Accuracy. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2000.
  7. Shrooms (Psilocybin). 40 g. Homie, My. New York, 2006.
  8. "Official Manual on Style." Uncyclopedic Committee on Factual Accuracy. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2000.
  9. The Voices in My Head. A Portable Toilet. 1992.
  10. "every." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 205
  11. "word." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 1112
  12. "in." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 452
  13. "should." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 812
  14. "be." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 210
  15. "cite." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 303
  16. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  17. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  18. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  19. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  20. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  21. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  22. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  23. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  24. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  25. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  26. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  27. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  28. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  29. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  30. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  31. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.[citation needed]
  32. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  33. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  34. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  35. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  36. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  37. Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  38. "Yet Another Official Report".[citation needed] Uncyclopedic Committee on Factual Accuracy. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2000.
Fries.png Quasi-Featured Article (01:43, 1 June 2007 (UTC))
This article was nominated to become a featured article[citation needed]; however, due to a voting discrepancy in Florida[citation needed [citation needed]] involving Oprah[citation needed] and a Slithis[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much], it didn't make the cut (12/20)[citation needed]. It's the thought that counts, right?[citation needed] You can prevent Oprah's nefarious plans from working by voting for other articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH[citation needed].