Top Ten Numbers between One and Ten
“Sounds like a good idea for a programme”
“I love the blueberry one the best”
Oh yes, this is one of the greatest of the numbers between 1-10. Ignoring the fact that there isn't actually anything that comes before it, we can see the elequent body of the number manifest itself in an ever-increasing list of areas in modern life, all the way from top ten lists on Channel 4 to more mundane tasks such as thick people using ten digits on the fingers to count.
Ah, Nine. The thinking man's number. Of course, as any budding mathematicians will know (or indeed anyone who has done more than one year at primary school), Nine is a square number. Herein lies it's genius: it doesn't look square. See: 9. It cunningly disguises itself by looking like a Nine. And this of course makes it the very epitome of coolness; everyone knows it's a square number but it doesn't feel the need to boast about it.
Nine was sadly murdered last year in what appeared to be a cannibalistic ritual, when, if the rumours are to be believed, Seven ate Nine. Many people believe that if it were not for this boost in it's popularity as a result of this, it would not be included in this list. Of course, this is rubbish. Nine is included in this list otherwise I wouldn't be able to fill it with ten numbers.
A sixy little number this one. Lots of six appeal. It's like the cool intellectual calmness of 9 turned upside down, although they make a rather nice couple. One of the most desirable numbers, as according to numourous surveys, lots of people want to have Six. This justifies it's inclusion in this list, funnily enough, at number eight.
It would probably be unwise to mess with Seven. There are many allegations surrounding Seven, most notably the accusation that he is a cannibal. It alleged that last year, following a drunken row, Seven ate Nine, although we can't go into too much detail as the trial is pending. Over the years, there have also been many allegations concerning Seven's supposed murderous tendencies, such as it's penchant for punishing people who break mirrors. Both of these factors have been crucial in fuelling Seven's notoriety; though neither as much as the Death Metal band S Club 7 naming themselves after this, the most notorious of numbers between one and ten.
6) El Diablo (aka Eight)
Eight is the hardman of numbers. It doesn't seem it of course, it just looks like two zeros and two zeros normally equals zero. But Eight's hardness scared off the rules of arithmetic. Proof that Eight really is the hardman of numbers is to be found by the fact that Cockneys use it as slang for hate; as in "I Eight you".
An odd number, Five. Five has overcome a lot of personal setbacks in the past few years, most notably when it's identity was stolen by a boyband. Other people claim that Five is Ten's new identity and that he is only half the man he used to be.
What can be said of Four? It frequently fails to even come third and always just misses getting Bronze in many competitions, let alone get Silver or Gold. Thus, although it is a consistently excellent number, it fails to get the recognition it deserves. Thus it's inclusion in this list is indicative of the British public's love for the underdog.
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Bronze goes, as always, to Three. It truly is a bronze age for Three. It is often claimed that all the best things in life are Three, although many people counter that nothing in life is Three. However, it is true that many people yearn to be Three. Indeed three does belong to the people and therefore the people belong to three.
Continually pipped to the post and ending up with Silver, is Two. Two is the strong silent type; there is not much Two say. Indeed, there is not much Two do either.
And Gold goes to: One. One won. One is honoured to have come top in this list. One would like to thank all those who have chosen to honour One's self and it gives One great pleasure to accept this honour.