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The one is in the Toilet
This article may be Overly British.
Americans may not understand humour, only humor. Canadians and Australians may not understand anything at all. Don't change a thing to remedy this.
“This is The One... OR IS IT?”
“Son, you must fuck this pill, or else.........”
Christopher Page.............The End
The One is an evil entity who had been imprisoned in the center of the Milky Way galaxy by forces unknown. Elton John, a standup comedian specializing in gay-man jokes has released a song called "the one" singing it for his muse, the Foo Fighters, who have also done the same thing.
The one was released from the matrix after taking the blue pill offered to him by Oprah in an attempt to rid the world of all the hamsters, but all he got for it was a sleeping pill and a lightning on his forhead. He then went to Hogwards a.k.a Pigwards to study how pigs fly and confusing them for virgins and sexed with them. Obviously, they would have made a lot of more money by chronicling his rampant sexcapades, but the chronicler was too dumb to think about it - despite all the time spent thining over fx and sitting in a cafe wondering about all the sexual frustration. The said sexual frustrations have surfaced in the rampant and illogical lovelives of the friends of the one.
The one was later given a lightsabre which only added to all the confusion. He later succumbed to the dark side because of the pleas of his father and was banished to the centre of the galaxy or somewhere in the mountains of Bulgaria.
The stupid bloke styled himself the one and spent the remaining time (pretty weird timeline, screwed up by all the wormhole travelling, told you Einstein had a point. Or a few. Or five. I donno. Do you?) editing wikipedia articles and was kicked out due to meandering and pointless discussions on child pornography.
The one is condemned to hum a totally catchy song in his head over and over and over and over and over again.
Everyone makes one mistake One more time for old time's sake I told him not to eat the whole cake Now he's got a funny feeling in his tummy One more time before the feeling fades
One that's born of memories One more bruise you gave to me A stupid scar on a stupid knee Pamela Anderson has a good rake One more test just how much can I take
You're not the one, but you're the only one who can make me feel like this You're not the one, but you're the only one who can make me feel like shit
Why the One is really really evil
One of the worst kept secrets of the one is that he brainwashed impressionable little kids into buying the one memorabilia. Is memorabilia spelt as memorabilia? The one would know. Because he brainwashed little impressionable kids into buying them. He made a lot of money for them. You know who. Shhh... you didn't read this... or Oprah WILL KILL YOU WITH A CASHMERE SCARF!!(Her favourite one)