That time some prick nearly drowned us all during his sojourn on the Titanic

For sooth, verily that huge thing was sent by the devil himself!

The icy heart of Beelzebub himself took delight when that heathen commoner ruined our journey.

So there I was

sailing along nicely on the biggest and safest ship ever built, when what did I spy? but a common braggart scoundrelling the chambermaids and guzzling all the champagne like a common chimney pig. Verily he did ruin what was an otherwise sophisticated aristocratic affair.

I was about to waylay the skell when an iceberg

loomed out of the water past the bow, glistening in the moonlight shining like a heavenly angel. My shocked delight turned to trepidation when I realized the mammoth instead slipped along the water making an icebergline unswervingly towards the ship.

I knew then the sinner must have been

the reason for the devil's unholy retribution towards us all. I made way to accost the stranger but his elbows iniquitous blow to my center impeded my just actions. His hasty escape into the lifeboat was unimpeded by the righteous bellows of my compatriots.

I gave chase but the icy waters of the Atlantic cooled my keenness for vengeance and he did assuredly escape, leaving me with naught but a major sinistral external abrasion and a severed brachialis radial.

Notwithstanding and to be truly somber, the iceberg called forth by that pagan sorcerer nearly drowned us all.

 

 

 

 

 

See also

• That time I nearly drowned during my sojourn on the Titanic