Talk:Just Buy The Book, Damn It!

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Hey, can I rewrite this trashy article to this:


For Pete's sake, just buy the stupid book! I mean seriously, your life is on the line here! If you don't buy this book, you'll probably die and/or go financially bankrupt! This blasted book can save your life, moron!


Why won't you buy the book?[edit source]

The only reason I can think of for you not buying the book is that you're too lazy/stupid to. You're probably both. Get off of your butt, march down to that store, and buy the thing! You don't even have to read it; you just have to buy it. Isn't that convinent? It's not very expensive either, only $2.50. You don't even have to pay tax on that either! Seriously, just buy the book, damn it!

Think of what you're missing out on![edit source]

Just think: the Mafia is going to break your needs if you don't buy the book, but you don't care. Why don't you care? You know how much it hurts to have broken knees? It hurts a lot. But nooo... you're too lazy and stupid to buy the book. I mean seriously, if the mafia breaks your knees, you won't be able to walk to buy any book, much less the one you should be buying now!


Jeez, you know what, you're retarded. I'm giving up on you. I personally don't care anymore, because you won't just buy the book, damn it!

Oops, that was me. Forgot to log in...--Kafeithekeaton 02:25, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

PLot summary:[edit source]

Plot Summary[edit source]

SPOILER ALERT

"Just Buy The Book, Damn It!" follows the simple formula laid down by {someone witty help me out here and insert a name here}. It follows the adventures of Lobert Rangdon and his journey do discover just which of the many Jesi was in fact the real Jesi that the Church of Jesus was founded on. After waking up with a terrible hangover Lobert finds himself naked, save for a glittery G-string, inside an ancient orgy room filled with Pope Idol wannabes. Lobert must decipher the code that was laid down by Leonardo De Caprio in the closing titles of The Aviator Before the Popes to be Get their kit off. Mean while evil head of EVIL corp battles with his fly. Lobert manages to build a thermonuclear charge in the last ten seconds before the Popes remove thier longjohns and detonates them out of existance. Surprisingly Lobert is the only one to survive and then races to decipher what connection the following sentance has withg anything "Mean while evil head of EVIL corp battles with his fly". Lobert then bumps into a sexy lady who is somehow related and after briefly sexing her in Times square He relises that EVIL corp doesn't exist and that fly is ancient symbology talk for - It was at this moment that Lobert is flung into a whore house and is made to endure innumerable sensless acts of copulation. He then dies of an STI brought on by excessive wanking.