Sixth form
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Hello, Sixth form education is high quality education limited to the United Kingdom only! It is not recommended for the faint hearted.,
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Thanks for reading, Sixth form education is high quality education limited to the United Kingdom only! It is not recommended for the faint hearted.!
Sixth Form refers to the two years following Secondary School in the United Kingdom for 16-18 year olds. These two years are used as an introduction to the anarchy required for University (more commonly known as Looniversity). During these two short years the young Padawans receive the best education in the form of Anarchy Levels abbreviated to A-levels. Compulsory A-levels are:
- Burlesque (for females)
- Break dancing (for males)
- Sex Education
- ADAU (The Art of Drinking Alcohol Underage)
Optional A-Levels allow Padawans to experience independence as they help to shape their future for themselves. Many of the A-Levels are the first step to a successful career in thriving business sectors such as counterfeiting, alcoholism, prostitution, DJing, modelling, pole dancing and living off of benefits.
Sixth Form Colleges[edit | edit source]
While most Padawans attend Sixth Form in secondary school there are a select few who have the honour of attending a Sixth Form College. These institutions are specifically created for the purpose of "teaching" the Padawans and so have facilities that cater for their every needs such as high-tech dance studios with heated floors, large wall mirrors and pole dancing poles for every student- no more pole sharing!
Anarchy-Levels[edit | edit source]
Each A-Level consists of several modules, usually 6 that each Padawan must pass in order to achieve the A-Level. There are 4 Compulsory A-Levels (as afore mentioned) and 6 optional A-Levels. Each Padawan must undertake 6 A-Levels- 4 compulsory and 2 of the optional A-Levels. The Optional A-Levels are:
- Psychology (The art of flirting and seducing)
- Law (Including new modules for 2008- Successful counterfeiting and Blackmail)
- Human Biology (The drinking limits of the human body- Including practical coursework)
- ASBO (Successful students to be presented with a certificate and a graduation ceremony upon completion)
- Physical Education (How to lure people to do what you want)
- Music (The History of classical music- Including popular module for 2008-> Soulja Boy-The Short History)
Compulsory Anarchy-Levels[edit | edit source]
The Art of Drinking Alcohol Underage[edit | edit source]
This is a compulsory Anarchy-Level. Modules including: Identity Cards, Geography of a city's pubs and clubs, types of drinks, mathematics (if a small glass of 12.5% wine is 1.5 units then what is a small glass of 16% wine?), a short module from the Physical Education A-Level (How to lure bouncers to do what you want) and The Philosophy of Drinking.
Once in sixth form a gruelling training routine begins. Every Padawan must learn the secret art of getting served such illicit substances; typical training grounds include local off licences - otherwise known as 'shacks'. This skill will be your ticket into many strangers homes for the next two years.
Here your life is worthless until you can down a bottle of Vodkat like it was the sweet, expensive liquor you wish you could afford. Once this skill has been mastered you may congratulate yourself. You are a true student and have prepared your vital organs for progression through to the higher levels of anarchy.
Only those truly serious about their education master the art of drinking alcohol underage, for this qualification shows to those lesser mortals who to be looking towards in their moments of failure. To master this art is to tell the world "Yes. This is going to take me to university. Bring on fresher's week."
“Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don't drink too much. Then again, don't drink too little.”
“I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.”
“Wine is bottled poetry.”
“A man who was fond of wine was offered some grapes at dessert after dinner. "Much obliged," said he, pushing the plate aside, "I am not accustomed to take my wine in pills.”
“I take my wine in pills.”
“Here's to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!”
“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”
“Remember: "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.”
Burlesque and Break dancing[edit | edit source]
The Female Padawans must undertake the compulsory Burlesque A-Level involving several modules including: Fashion for Burlesque Beauties, Pole dancing, modelling (Including practical cat-walk coursework), hairstyling and make-up.
The Male Padawans must study a form of street dance such as Break Dancing or Soulja Boy Style. Every male Padawan MUST learn the 'Crank That' dance by Soulja boy as this forms part of their practical examination. Modules will vary depending on the style of dance being learnt. However, basic modules includes history, Fashion for the Fit, Language (specifically Cockney slang), Shoes 4 ya dancin' plates and The Law of the Street Dance Battles.
Sex Education[edit | edit source]
In this Anarchy-Level Padawans are taught the ins and outs of sex using pornography, under a guise of sex education tapes, as a basis for their lessons. Modules include; the laws of the bedroom, forms of protection, positions, and Human chemistry. Padawans are tested on a termly basis by their teachers and graded on a common A-E scale according to flexibility and satisfaction.
Extra-Curricular Activities[edit | edit source]
Young Sixth Form Padawans can be found congregating around popular pubs and clubs. Research has found that such extra-curricular activities do, in fact, support work learnt in the classroom and can even improve A-Level grades [see above].
