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The Geniuses at Uncycyclopedia were studying in their was studying labratoried, and discovered Peter Chimaera. They didn'tn't know where come, but they decided to write anyway.
“I laughed, I cried, I was inspired enough to huff another kitten. ”
“ It could be argued that Peter Chimaera has poor spelling. ”
Peter Chimaera (1956-), was a visionary author and celebrated historian from North Korea. Yes, that North Korea. The content of his works has been compared to Tenacious D and Eric Clapton. Among the many themes prolific in his work are those of fate vs. free will, absurdism, and Digimon vs. Gundam. Peter Chimaera is often compared to the well-known squirrelking and the re-emerging Bojak.
edit List of Works
His published works include:
- Peter Chimaera book of hsitorical faFfiction
- Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction
- Quarter-Life 2: Retrun of the Isatop!
- Batman : Nemisis Fight
- Desert Bus Ride 1: A Romance Story and for Ladies
- DEVIL MAY CRY: THe CRYING OF THE DEMON
- Black Crisis With Master Chief
- Castlevania: Wisps of Dracula
- The Matrix Return
- Gundam Wing Final Battle
- DIGIMON 2: RETURN OF DIGIMON
- DOOM: Repercussions of Evil
- DIGIMON SAVEZ THE WROLD!!1111
- The Simpsons Dinner
- Resident Deadly
- Planet of the Apes Secret of Planet
In addition, a future work Chimaera has hinted at has been tentatively titled Gundam Wing Final Battle 2: The Second Final Battle.
The first draft of The Dark Knight is reported to have been penned by Peter Chimaera. The script largely remains intact, only the Joker's immortal line "Good shoot!" was unfortunately replaced with the far less effective "Why so serious?" Although filmed, the scene where Batman "wsa having sex with Catwoman becuas she was good now" was removed for some reason.
Russell T. Davies contacted Peter Chimaera to write an episode for the third series of Doctor Who. It was initially called DOCTOR SAVEZ THE WROLD!!!1 and featured Gollum, Jesus Christ and a plot which made no sense whatsoever. Davies thought this was far too ridiculous and so renamed it to Last of the Time Lords. Gollum, Jesus Christ and the plot which made no sense, however, remained in the episode.
Peter Chimaera was also contacted to write scripts for the Matrix films. As always, his talent did not fail him, and the plot was just as gripping and as exciting as his other works. Not only this, but Peter Chimaera ARE THE DEMONS.
edit Various Cinematic Adaptations
DOOM: Repercussions of Evil
The Matrix Return
QuarterLife: Halfway to Destruction
BATMAN: NEMESIS FIGHT
edit Early Life
Peter Chimaera was born John Chimaera to an Asian miner and an Asian minor living in what was once Asia Minor (thus completing the coveted Asian Triple Crown before ever becoming famous for his writing). He later changed his name to Peter Chimaera at the beginning of his writing career, after famously telling his family "Who would take anything written by someone named John Chimaera seriously?" His first job was editing for Frank Herbert's Dune, hence, the tasteful and sensible naming of races and creatures.
edit Writing Career and Fame
Chimaera's first critically acclaimed work was titled DIGIMON SAVEZ THE WROLD!!1111 It was published in the Digimon section of the renowned peer-reviewed periodical Fanfiction.net. Although he is considered one of the greatest writers in history, he has never been able to produce a story based on Metal Gear. "I want to," he says, "but that's a heavily mined bridge to cross another time."
Reproduced here (with permission) is DIGIMON SAVEZ THE WROLD!!1111 in entirety:
CHAPTER ONE: Chaos in the lab
The wind flowed spraying like into Digimon's face but he was not intrested. The wrold needed to be saved becuse an evil scintist had created a machine that culd destroy it! Digimon has a hard time getting into the scientist lair where the man had a gun. "It's too late," he smiled. It was an evil smile that he held the gun with. "No it's not too late YOU MONSTER! I WIIL DESTORY YOU!" and he charged. And he used his digimon powar to kill him. The wrold was saved from evil. "Hooray I saved the wolrd!" he shouted. "THE WORLD IS SAFE"
CHAPTER TWO: Digimon goes home
But he found that on the way home there was no road. It was too late like the scintist said. He had already destored the road and the people were trapped on the island that they were trapped in. There was nothing he could do. So he went home and cried.
There are varied interpretations on Chimaera's message with this insightful tale, but one school of thought is generally agreed upon among Chimaera experts, or "Chimaerans". This theory holds that the story is a metaphor of science's advance at the expense of morality. An oft-quoted line from the text that expresses this theme is "Digimon has a hard time getting into the scientist lair where the man had a gun." This also is the start of a motif that Chimaera uses in several of his other works, where he switches from the past to present tense in mid-sentence, indicating to the reader that the implications of his writing go far beyond the chronological past or present. In this sentence specifically, Chimaera is saying, "You fools! Look how far you've let science progress! Now it can no longer be stopped, for it has a gun and you cannot get to it!" Another meaningful quote is "Hooray I saved the wolrd!" from the end of Chapter 1. Chimaera is saying here that perhaps the government is capable of saving the wolrd from science, but certainly not the world or even the wrold. Chapter 2 confirms the suspicions of the most astute readers: science may have been stopped in the present, but neither the past nor the future can be changed. Many global warming activists see meaning in Chapter 2, likening the fact that the road has been
destroyed destoryd by science and cannot be fixed to the destructive effects of global carbon emissions. "If we do not take action now," a popular mantra goes, "then we we will be trapped on the planet that we are trapped in." However, most Chimaerans simply tell Al Gore to shut the fuck up.
Chimera's next major work remains his most popular, the legendary Gundam Wing Final Battle. The original text, with analysis in italics, follows.
Here Chimaera continues the theme of mistrust for science and technology when the formatting does not work as it should. At the same time, he is alerting the reader that the contents of the title are central to the plot.
Heero was having rough day at school and his muffin for lunch did not taste the good. "No I am uhngry and this is not good" and threw the muffin and hit a guy.
The muffin represents human life in its entirety. Our protagonist has a great desire for life, but wants something new out of it.
"Hey the " guy said. It was having bad day.
Chimaera masterfully uses his technique of introduced ambiguity here. Is the man's name guy, or Hey the? Is "Hey the " being used as an adjective? Is the guy having a bad day? Or perhaps the muffin is having a bad day? After all, it was unwanted and only half-eaten. This muffin could represent Chimaera's protagonist - maybe he was misunderstood by his peers?
"Sorry" and so Heero went to his gundam and he flew away to be by himself at the north pole.
Heero escapes social conflict with a fight-or-flight reaction that is inappropriate in modern society. This highlights the theme of dissatisfaction with modern life. Chimaera also brilliantly shows the link between social ineptitude, and the frail mind of a child, by linking Heero's fleeing to a place well known among children, the North Pole. This of course is where the famous child icon St. Nicholas, or "Santa Claus," is said to live, showing that there are times when we must flee to our inner child when confronted with problems we are ill-equipped to handle.
"HAHAHAHAHA" said Zechs who was waiting there for him "I have returned and I will kill the erath with gundam powar!"
Heero is put through a moral struggle that Chimaera leaves the reader to contemplate. Perhaps he would like to see the world destroyed. Chimaera's "misspellings" are always meaningful, and in this case, the erath is a utopian world where Heero would like to live. Note that while Zechs mentions Gundam, Digimon are not mentioned. It is implied that Gundam are so powerful Digimon were forced from the Earth and even the erath, but perhaps they still remain in the wrold, the dystopian future from Chimaera's previous work.
They fought and Heero won. But Zechs detonatationed his gundam and the north pole blew up.
Chimaera forces the reader to stumble over a word, highlighting the fact that this is a monumental event, not something that one can skim over but something that will remain in his mind. Also, when linked to the childhood theme, this clearly shows the fragility of the inner child being destroyed by a simple "detonatation."
"No!!!!!!!!!!!!" Heero was mad at all the penguins die.
No indeed, Peter Chimaera. You are a master of the written language. Here Chimaera returns seamlessly to the topic of climate change. In this instance Heero is a manifestation of Chimaera; his sorrows the same as those of the author. And again, when linked to the childhood theme, this shows our rage when having our "safe place" destroyed, and our sorrow for all who may be involved. Chimaera mentions that the Penguins die, while many researches have formulated that they appear in the south pole - This is likely a metaphor and a commentary on man's struggle against man in light of the human condition.''
Zechs got the ship and flew to space. Heero's gundam was not good for space the he went spoking with talk to the gundam inventor who fixed it.
Chimaera's use of language here is beyond the comprehension of all but the most insightful scholars.
"Now I can fly to space combat" and they fought in space where they battled with beam swords antil both mobile suits were all damaged and none could move. This was the end of combat and Duo found them and rescued Heero.
Heero's subtle replacement of until with antil signifies that this battle is on the scale of an ant, nothing compared to the cosmic battle man fights against human life.
"No I cannot be left to die" Zechs said and he was stuck there in space.
The meaning here is obvious. Our problems cannot be destroyed, they can only be sealed away inside us until they become a huge brain tumor and we have to have surgery and it costs a shitload and we become a burden on our whole family.
"Thank you" Heero and Duo went to Earth where they had peace.
MAYBE THE END . . . . ?
This sends shivers down my spine (Body's achin' all the time).
A popular alternate analysis and defense of GUNDAM WING - Final Battle was given by Chimaera's contemporary Black-Telic shortly after publication.
I cannot see how anyone could miss the pure, simple brilliance held within this piece. Those who try to shoot down this wonderful work are looking at its surface and its surface alone, completely and totally missing the deeper meaning hidden within each line, enhancing and strengthening your already breathtaking work. They are simply jealous and afraid that they will never be able to write with the same power and ability that it seems only you possess.
It saddens me that no one sees the brilliance here. Obviously, this is a statement against senseless warfare. The missing punctuation subtly explains the shortsightedness of the military and those that support it--while they seem to look at the bigger picture, they miss the most important factor in warfare--the lives desecrated and torn apart, represented by the minute and yet passionately alive comma. The fact that there is a space between the dialogue and the closing quotation mark shows how sorely the comma is missed while it is gone, that its place is preserved even though it has vanished from the story in its entirety. The sentences hang open, that white gap a beacon of loneliness, giving the entire work a haunted feel.
Chimaera's last significant work to date was Doom: Repercussions of Evil. The unabridged text follows.
John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted
The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"
And then John was a zombie.
"And then John was a zombie." Chilling indeed. The spontaneity only makes the final line of this groundbreaking piece all the more haunting. John's sudden transformation seems to represent the fragility of human identity, raising deeply fascinationg and even disturbing questions about the nature of self. To many interpretations the voice of Cernel Joson on the radio represents society, specifically the mass media, impressing upon John an identity which, although disturbing at first, is accepted and even, perhaps, embraced by the story's protagonist. "And then John was a zombie." The line resounds with a grim finality.
Further interpretation states that John's warnings to Cernel Joson represent the behaviours the common man employs when seeking attention, desperate "cries for help" when under extreme emotional duress. John's sudden and haunting change of self seem to be the result his "warnings to Cernel Joson" which were "not listenend to-" dismissed, perhaps, by an uncaring and individualistic society. Furthermore, John's reminisceance of his childhood have been interpreted in myriad ways: was John regretting his decision to become a Marine, or was he remembering his father's judjement to be incorrect or invalid? Did he seek comfort in a memory of a warm and pacific childhood, or did he harbour some sort of resentment towards an incapable or even abusive father? Or was John's memory merely an extention of this chilling metaphor for human nature? This brilliant work leaves nearly endless room for deep and insightful philosophical interpretation.
a recent work of his is Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction, a more optimistic piece which explores the themes of love, grief, and the inner strength that is charateristic of human nature. This work is printed in its entirety below.
ATUHOR'S NOSE: Uncycylopedia (which is online encyclopidia like wikiped) said I was writing story called Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction and dontn't know where come but I decide to write anyway.
CHAPTER ONE: WHAT IT MEANS Gordon Freechmen was studying in his was studying laboratoried. Fellow scientist cow-orker Jimm said "Gordon Freemant what are you working on" "UI have discovered new radoactive isatope but it is so vollatile that it does not have a half-life but quarter-life so we must observe with hasty" Juts then a headcrab went on Jimms head OH NO WHERE DID HEADCRAB COME FROM! GHordon wents to get his crowbarb ut it was missing so hhad to borrow a claymore sword. He hits teh headcrab and Jimm was okay but his head was cut "Watch where you swings at me just kidding thanks" " HAha" They laughed "Whait oh no where id isotop?" "UIt is been stoled!"
CHAPTER TWO: THEY REVOCER TEH ISOTROPE BUT THEY DON'T Gordon and Jimm arrived at teh alien scene where a bad guy from the game said "I have take the isotope and it will cause meltdown!" "NO, NOT ALL OF DALLAS!" Which swas target of where they were and it was nice place and my friend lives there. "IF YOU DO NOT AGREE TO MY DEMANS" "TOO LATE" and the isotope hit quarterlife and teh room was slowly become vaporize "Ew must escapes out of here fastly" but Jimm was already blowed to smitheroons.
CHAPTER THREE: DESTRUACTION IS IMMINANT "This is Gordon Freeman how do we contain teh meltdown? I know!" And he used portals to push henemy headquarters into a portal so Dallas wouldnt melt down and it would only go off harmless in Atlantic ocean. "Hooray I scucceeded at winning the mission" "Not so fast, Mr. Gordon"
What happens next? You deiside!
Tahnks for reading please buy my book at peterchimaera .com i am poor :(
he really does have a site. and a book. only 4.95$!!!!!! I bought it, and my money ended up going to his AZN FAMBLYt