Pandasex
Pandasex was created in 1985 under the name FDA Case #29385 and transitioned into the pharmaceutical identifier Spildenafil citrate. It was not until 1988 with the revitalization of the panda population and an increase in awareness that Dr. Wat Minhler chose the current name for the now popular male erectile dysfunction drug.
History[edit | edit source]
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Dr. Wat Minhler, a foremost biologist working with the dwindling panda population is largely attributed with the development of the drug. He began working with Chinese zookeepers on improving breeding techniques for the captive panda population within China's Shaanxi province. Wat Minhler described the primitive techniques being used in his first book entitled, "Panda Sex: The Pantheon of Men," stating, "when I first arrived the zookeepers were forced to simply forcibly insert the male panda's penis into the female panda and rock the animals back and forth." Within years time, because of the dangers for zookeepers, Dr. Minhler had developed the very first panda sex rocker (not to be confused with the popular 1990's grunge band based on the invention) which automatically simulated natural sex for the creatures. In 1984 however, the pandas, in a sign that even machine-assisted sex was too much for what Minhler called the "species that only wanted to eat bamboo and die," destroyed the only operable machine. At this point Dr. Minhler returned to the lab to develop a drug that increased sex drive, enhanced the desire for survival, and produced natural gyrations in the hips. The medicine was a success and in 1986 the panda population saw its first increase of 1 panda.
Somewhat ironically with the population of pandas on the rise, Dr. Wat Minhler found himself unable to sustain the prolonged sessions his wife Emma Minhler demanded of him. On August 21, 1987 he secretly took one of his own panda pills and discovered great success in humans. After a trial run with Shaanxi University males, the drug was released to the public. In recent years with such products as Viagra, Pandasex has seen a decline in sales. Some blame the name as reason for the decline, particularly people embarrassed to order it at over-the-counter pharmacies.
Advertising[edit | edit source]
Panda sex or pandasex, its pharmaceutical name, has had an extensive advertising campaign since its release to the public in 1988. Initially Dr. Minhler was writing most of the slogans, but he hired an advertising specialist after poor returns in 1988. Here are some of the more well known slogans:
- 1988 - Are you tired of having zookeepers come in and insert your penis in your wife's vagina and rock both of you gently? Panda Sex is here!"
- 1989 - "Panda Sex, revitalize your sex life just like the panda population of today!"
- 1991 - "Panda Sex - don't let your love life go extinct!"
- 1997 - "Is your wife complaining about how you always have "shoots and leaves"? Try Panda Sex!"
- 1999 - "Make sure your panda is always GIANT - Panda Sex"
- 2008 - "Panda Sex - 20 years and we're gonna keep it up!"
