Human (Fighter)

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Even Vasily had a few tricks up his sleeve!

A standard human being (Homo sapiens, or "monkey with computer" in Latin) when sufficiently enraged (Homo sapiens iratus, or "monkey with an attitude") can punch with a force of 5,000 newtons, with a base health of 608013.516 N (304006.758 pascals on 2.0 meters of thicc flesh). Though, there are few hackers that can survive that amount of pressure, in which they use the "MaxBaseHealth" buffer (don't worry, God will ban them eventually). Some are said to have survived more than 20 kgf/in² (kill George Freeman per square inch) of pressure, which is a lot! So a human using standard lvl. 1, tier-I gear will be able to withstand 122 hits before catastrophic failure.

So, as a result, 122 HP is the base static health of an average human. Now, by these static terms, we can deduce that a professional boxer can deal 1 hitpoint (1 HP) of attack damage, which is a pretty large number in retrospect! Remember, 1 HP of damage is equal to 5,000 newtons of force (1124.045 lbf, for those of you proud Americans out there); That's a lotta damage! Though, this negates the fact that the area of impact is 0.043 m², in which the single-strike health of a basic human is 3 HP. More details about stats distributions as well as exceptions can be found in the following disambiguations below.

Hackers and stuff[edit | edit source]

They're bad. Adolf Hitler survived multiple assassination attempts before killing himself after WW 2.0 (WW 1 was in beta stages and was never completed as a result of the defeated German Empire). He was said to have been an incarnation of Satan himself, which is why he wasn't able to be blacklisted by God (or any of his angelic moderators). Anyway, he convinced a whole gaming community that "juice" was bad and that they should all indulge in voluntary genocide by "drinking it", also known as something about a cost that was hollow. In short, Hitler was a führer AND a hacker.

This logic also applies to Vasily Zaytsev, a Russian sniper who fought under the remote control of the great and powerful Stalin. History aside, a few German soldiers said that he had aimbot and a +225 Axis kill streak. Though, this serves as a counter to the 0.04889889418-Daniel[1] kill streak that Hitler had.

Stats and calculations[edit | edit source]

Of course, humans come in various shapes and sizes (emphasis on the SIZE) and skew markedly from what we call an identical, unified group of specimens. That being said, all cows of a specific breed look pretty much the same (I'm sorry if that's a stereotype, but that's just how it is[2].), and though we are all Homo sapiens (well, at least 87% of us are), we don't look the same (there may be a justifiably reasonable exception when it comes to Asians and other clones). Though, the average height and weight balance of an average adult human build (S-tier for intellect, F-tier for intellect) is 137 lb. and 5'9".

Legendary Units[edit | edit source]

Major gamers with a strong taste in unit development may include builds such as Michael Malloy, Vasily Zaytsev, and Adolf Hitler on their team, though, Vasily was later kicked due to aimbot hacking and Adolf Hitler rage quit after the loss of WW 2.0. Michael, however, was another story, because he had earned many, MANY health upgrades to increase his MaxBaseHealth stat, further increasing it to over 1,000,000 HP (maybe even more) and over the normal mid-C-tier limit.

Footnotes[edit | edit source]

  1. One Daniel is equivalent to exactly 26585468.27597320079803466796875 civilian casualties. This unit is calculated by dropping a 100 Mt (mega thicc) load of TNT on the densest place on Earth: Shanghai, China (in terms of population, of course-if we were talking IQ, it would be America).
  2. So, don't go blaming me, Mister Hypocrites!