Google Talk

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Google Talk Logo

Google Talk is the world-leading communication service launched by a group of unknown students in the United Spades to give some popularity to their related search engine. Because they record any conversation taking place via their service, rumours spread that this whole Google thing is in fact organized by American secret services such as the KGB and the CIA, with the sole purpose of winning the War on Tourism.

Community[edit | edit source]

Google Talk has created an enormous community of enthusiastic people wasting their bandwidth every day, just to stay in touch with the idols of the Google Talk community. This community is often believed by outsiders to be the first step towards Communism in the United Spades. The red 'a' in the logo of the service is obvious enough to indicate they are on the right track.

The idols of the Google Talk community are very hard to reach for outsiders, and thus no objective information on them is available. Members of the community state that they are "the best thing since kitten huffing". Some research done on information from conversations learns that these idols can type at a rate of 712 keystrokes per minute, to keep up with all their fans in the community.

Context sensitive Advertisements[edit | edit source]

In a major technological breakthrough, Google has extended the context sensitive advertisements to Google Talk. GMail users however, will be familiar with the very relavant ads that appear along with their emails. In Google Talk, relavant ads are displayed on the chat windows when its voice recognition system traps relavant keywords.

Merchandise[edit | edit source]

To satisfy the needs of the community, Google has launched the Google Shop to spread merchandise to all the members of their community. The sole purpose of this shop is to spread the word and make one big army of Zombies out of the community. Once this army has grown to the size of about half the total population of the Earth, something which is scheduled to happen in 2012, it will be used to throw over the existing government of the United Spades to convert the nation to a nation of communism. It is yet unknown if they want to spread Communism over the rest of the world. CIA (Communal Integration Apple) has captured the leader. It is said that the leader has the biggest contact list ever. All the world's underground is in his arm reach. Increase computer speed

slow computer solutions