Emancipation Proclamation

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The Emancipation Proclamation was a document proposed by President Abraham Lincoln. It made slavery illegal in the southern states, with no mandate on slavery in the North.


Origin[edit | edit source]

The Declaration of Independence, a great example of successful plagiarism, stated that all men had the rights to Life, liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. Of course, the founding fathers didn't know of the existence of non-whites, otherwise they would have clarified it further. Note that it also fails to mention women's rights. And redistribution programs. And just about every other program established by leftists since the founding of the nation. That's because those sorts of thing are UnAmerican.

President Bush decided to use the Declaration of Independence as an excuse to take away the property of many southern whites. He made slavery illegal because if he didn't he wouldn't get reelected. But then when he did get reelected he was assassinated, so it was ok.

The Facts[edit | edit source]

  • Fact: In some Hoes opinion, slavery is a violation of some people's rights.
  • Fact: Most of those people were black, so their opinion didn't matter.
    • Sub-Fact: Once you go black there's no going back.
  • Fact: The others were just poor people that wanted jobs.
    • Sub-Fact: They are greedy bastards. Very greedy bastards.
  • Fact: Lincoln only freed the southern slaves.
    • Sub-Fact: He didn't even intend for the black slaves to be freed.
      • Sub-Sub-Fact: That's because he was a white supremacist.

The Opinions[edit | edit source]

“I will say then that I am not, nor ever have been in favor of bringing about in anyway the social and political equality of the white and black races - that I am not nor ever have been in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the white and black races which I believe will forever forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together there must be the position of superior and inferior, and I as much as any other man am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race.”

~ Abraham Lincoln on race

“This rocks. Take that whitey.”

~ Black People on freedom

“So, we're still gonna fuck you up.”

~ White people who had most of their property taken away without any compensation on the previous quote

“Better to be a fat slave than to starve free”

~ Negrofucious on slavery

NASTA opposition[edit | edit source]

NASTA, or the North American Slave Trade Advocates, is a group that opposes the current embargo on slave trade that the US placed upon themselves. They believe that free trade is essential if the US economy is to survive in the global market. Among the top issues that they oppose is the emancipation of slaves. NASTA upholds that slaves should be traded as any other good would, and encourages Congresswhites to repeal slavery-banning legislation. Their current "poster child" is Senator and Presidential Candidate John McCain. It is reported that NASTA has donated over $250 million to his presidential campaign as well as over 40 million primary election votes through 3/5ths representation laws.