Biloxi
“Biloxi? I reckon that's in da South.”
Biloxi is a city of wonders. The biggest of which is wondering why the hell anybody would live here in the first place. Biloxi comes from the Indian (Native American, not the baseball team from Cleveland) word meaning "White Man Stole our Land."
History[edit | edit source]
Biloxi (buh-LUX-ee) was founded in 1666 by the French explorer Pierre Landstealer. Under the order of the king of France, Pierre was to sail across the Atlantic and claim land and start a colony in the new world, simply because "errbody else be doin' it so why da hell we ain't doin' it?" And on Octember 32, Pierre set foot on The Panama Canal which is now present day Biloxi. Thanks to this expedition Pierre proved the world was not flat, but rather lemon shaped.
Then in 1924 Due to World War V or Vietnam, all the asians came to Biloxi, because of the awesome rice flavored shrimp and all the casinos they can keep their babies in. Now Biloxi is 24 percent Asian 2 parts chocolate and 8 parts sugar..and is known as "WHY THE HELL AM I HERE" capital of the USA.
Geography[edit | edit source]
Somewhere in Missippi Missississ Mississippi. Nobody knows where, and they simply don't care.
Approximately 70 miles away from the chocolate city, which showers biloxi with its pollution of M&MS and Snickers.
The dirty south of america.
The Climate[edit | edit source]
Biloxi has an extremely humid climate. One feels like they are swimming - LITERALLY. The atmosphere is 98% water, 5% oxygen, and 5% natural occurring poisons. It's not uncommon to see people swimming around from house to house. This is not to be confused with New Orleans in which the people swim around in the water created by the levees the "white man" broke as opposed to the saturated enviroment.
Winters can get very harsh in Biloxi thanks to the atmosphere,but also due to the amount of rednecks burning things (leaves,crosses,etc.) the sun can get blocked by ash and cause the area to go into a mini ice age until february.
People and Culture[edit | edit source]
Also Biloxi is known to have the highest density of elderly people. Thanks to the casinos (The Elderly Capri, The Old Rivage, Oldtown, and the Grand-ma Casino of Biloxi and Grand-pa Casino of Gulfport, which haven't opened up yet due to all the employees dying of old age.)
Biloxi is rumored to have more old people than Miami, although not yet proven. Hundreds upon hundreds of scientists are now doing countless experiments in a project so massive that it compares to the Human Genome Project.
Economy[edit | edit source]
Biloxi has a very poor striving economy. It's known in the South as the "Golden City", but more recently as "The Other Chocolate City" after an editorial in The New York Times compared the city to that of New Orleans except for all the flooding, murders, looting, crime, communism, and occasional voodoo. Its major import are hurricanes and asians, and its major exports are racism, Republicans and Conservatives.