1 vs. 100

Bob Saget, Game Show Genius

1 vs. 100 is a new primetime game show on NBC where an average American idiot is put up against 100 savage, man-eating lions. Needless to say, the lions ALWAYS win!!!

How the Game Originated

The idea for the show was thought up by game show host Bob Saget. He got the idea while being mugged by 100 bank robbers during the New Year's Eve celebration in New York City. This made him think "Hey, If I got beat up this much by humans, then imagine how much complete dumbasses would get beat up by hungry lions?" The next day, he went to NBC Studios, who immediately approved the idea for television.

Rules of the Game

In 1 vs. 100, a constant is only allowed three mince pies, a helmet, a bullet-proof vest, and a sword. A typical round lasts about 5 minutes. At anytime during the round, a contestant can use one of three helps, such as free kill, feed the lions steak, and just end the round already. After each round, host Bob Saget tallies up the number of lions dead and multiples it by a million dollars. Every three rounds, Saget asks the constestant if he wants to leave with the money (and his remaining limbs), or if he wants to keep fighting the lions. If, by some miracle, the constestant kills ALL the lions, then he wins 1,000,000,000 dollars.

Originally, instead of killing lions, the contestant answered questions, but that stopped after negative 2 hours, when the producers found out that the contestants couldn't answer the questions. Or, for that matter, count to 4.

Past Winners

There are NONE, the lions always kill the contestant in round one! The only exception to this is Chuck Norris, who had won in late 2005, and me

1 vs. 100's Immense Popularity

After three episodes, 1 vs. 100 became the top primetime attraction on NBC, thus surpassing fellow game show Deal or No Deal and NFL's Sunday Night Football. 1 vs. 100 set Neilsen boxes on fire with its 10.2 rating, and has been nominated for three primetime Emmy Awards. I really don't get the whole concept, but I guess people like watching their own blood or something.

But why?

After being renewed for its 34th season, nobody really knows. But you gotta admit, it's fun to see people running around like batshit lunatics. He's going, going, and- awwww......

So, Where do they get all those fucking lions?

Rome, of course. These aren't little pussy lions who let the carny stick their head in its mouth. The lions on 1 vs. 100 are trained to eat Christians and they do their job without fuck-ups.

The 'Strayan Version

$AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA$

Because the show had people getting chased by large mammals, the Australian government brought the show in as a documentary on marriage. They made one change to the rules, whereby now instead of allowing the contestant armour, they just make the player a bogan, so that they can just throw stubbies and say "FARK!" a lot for protection.