Sophia

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Sophia is a
thirty-eight twenty-seven
thirty-six. 'Nuff said.
—Oscar Wilde on Sophia

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Who is SOPHIA?
For the love of SOPHIA
Edit this entry

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Keyboards show the truth -
letters are disorganized;
numbers line up straight.

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What is Sophia?
A person, or a concept?
Sophia is... HOT!

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Here's to Sophia

~o~ All hail cheese burgers Made by Sophia with cheese And with some burgers ~o~ Why the hell, I ask Are we writing these haikus On this Sophia page? ~o~ All hail SOPHIA Our great goddess of haiku we do so love her ~o~ Like the Sun, she shines, Like the great blue sky, she glows, Like the sea, she's... wet. ~o~ I think of Sophia and onomatopoeia. Now that's a big word. ~o~ May she love us too And grants us much good humour For honouring her ~o~ SOPHIA haiku Five, seven, and five again This is her domain ~o~ Sophia runs far. Where are you going, beauty? Into the SMITEHOLES. ~o~ Sophia needs you In a whimper of lost sighs Never with a tear ~o~ Soapy Sophia Slides slowly into a bath The sound of water ~o~ 苏菲苏菲 今吾先亲近之 期从者众 ~o~ All I've ever known is Uncyclopedia. Bless us, Sophia. ~o~ Sophia desires Some quiet time by the fire With champagne and ice ~o~ Sophia enjoys Sitting in a small dank cave Wond'ring 'bout the world ~o~ Tämä on selvää: moni Sofia-luulee, vaan ei Sofia. ~o~

~o~ Gentle goddess of cherry blossoms and of wine: Sophia, I'm thine ~o~ No one told me the Right way to write a Haiku. This last line has too many syllables. ~o~ Dreamy Sophia You are my inspiration The power of dreams. ~o~ Sophia my love Please translate the last haiku For ignorant folk ~o~ Noble Sophia I'd like to purchase for you Many Klondike bars ~o~ 나의사랑 소피아여 여기 많은 빼빼로가 있으니 나의 가방속으로 들어오소서 ~o~ Water wear stone away Will undying devotion melt Sophia's heart? ~o~ Leave me, Sophia never again, I am all alone again ~o~ Люблю Софию! Я люблю ее пизду! Иди на хуй! ~o~ Durka durka dur... Durka durka Mohammed, Durka Jihad dur. ~o~ Du geili Drexau Jòò, mause wolle mer Disch Awwa kääna derfs. ~o~ 月圆之夜 乃思家之时 苏菲也同？ 九月十八 恰逢一花甲 谁人能忘？ ~o~ 내님 소피아 쭉쭉빵빵 헤벌레 나는 기절중 ~o~ Sophia, dearest, please put that dagger away. I'll be good. Honest. ~o~ סופיה, עינייך הן כמו השמש העולה הן יפות ועצובות ~o~ Ka Sophia es Muliero qua manjis Saporoz' Hilter? ~o~ Oh mama mia! Now that's a spicy meatball Sticky are my pants ~o~ סופיה שלי מה מלאו לחייך דם ושדייך חלב ~o~

Sophia's Mythology

~o~ I don't understand who this Sophia can be Why is she our muse? ~o~

~o~ From whose house she comes At midnight to my dwelling The clap she brings me ~o~

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~o~ Everyone should know The Goddess and potato Are two different things. ~o~ Gnostic deity Of Wisdom, Sophia is So said a prophet. Sister of Jesus Goddess of Kinky Incest Man she rocks my world It is also said She invented Haiku in eighteenth century. ~o~ Sophia love you As much as any Goddess Just need poetry ~o~ An Asian Goddess but with an odd name surely not Shirley, you git. ~o~ Sophia commands A dark avatar on Earth... Sophia Loren! ~o~ Sophia is one With her mind, body and soul Oh, to be as free. ~o~ Pure as rain water Radiant like the night moon Warm as summer sun Bending as young tree Comforting as a spring breeze Such is Sophia ~o~ Haiku is not cool A waste of time, this is true And yet I persist ~o~ Such beauty, divine, Lips more luscious than fine wine, Redder than a rose. ~o~ With five and seven our Uncyclopedia enshrines Sophia ~o~ La saĝ' malsaĝa De la bela Sofio Sensencigas nin. ~o~

~o~ Golden light surrounds Sophia's serenity Yeah, bring it on, bitch! ~o~ Not the same but well our lovely potato is too named Sophia ~o~ Carry on, tater You're Kansas' wayward son Your job: Never done ~o~ Sophia's journey Took her to a land of lies Where she had good beer ~o~ During her travels Sophia once met this man who asked this question: O queen of wisdom, Sophia, what the heck am I doing here? Sheesh. To which she replied: Asking me stupid questions Or so it would seem. Just kidding, good man. You are here to discover the answer you seek ~o~ From out of the ground Comes Sophia and some dirt Hands stay dry for days. ~o~ 苏菲苏菲 生大荒山,无稽崖 空空妙妙 子虚乌有 曾随长卿遊 回遊于此 ~o~ Monkey Monkey Ape Monkey Sophia Monkey Ape Love Sophia ~o~

Blasphemous Haiku

~o~ Sophia loves cocks But not like you think she does Just to cut them off ~o~ Sophia smells like Rancid suppositories In the winter rain ~o~ (reply) that's just disturbing have the power to censor but that would be wrong ~o~ Sophia oh dear She ate bad jam and catfood She just chundered lots ~o~ 苏菲是甚 惟炼红铅者知 此药谁服（负） ~o~ Question, Mark, question? Ma, question Mark's question mark! Question? Mark Weston! ~o~ My fingers smell bad Sophia said not to tell where i had put them ~o~ Haikus are rather silly when you think about it. Sonnets instead? ~o~ (reply) A sonnet? No way! Sophia demands haiku! Haiku we must do! ~o~

~o~ When the bough breaks, the Cradle will rock. And she will Give us all blow jobs. ~o~ Sophia, Sophie Sew fee, A sofa, so fuh- geddaboutit, man ~o~ What dream makes us slave For Uncyclopedia? Shagging Sophia ~o~ An old lore proclaims Sophia had a sex change He still has one ball ~o~ Sophia ist ein grosses Stück crap, das in die Toiletteschüssel schwimmt ~o~ You have two cows, and cherry blossoms on the wind-- The sound of mooing ~o~ Oh Sophia, you make me dream of jerking off right now. Forgive me. ~o~ Sophia, my love, They say you give great head, but I'm disappointed ~o~ I yearn to put my cock into Sophia's cunt. Make her orgasm ~o~ Sophia is mean, She fucked Michael Jackson, But didn't fuck me. ~o~ ソフィア姫 はめてちょうだい 中に来る

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Table of contents
ought to also be Haiku
Needed a break here

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The Meta Haiku

~o~ To write a haiku: Syllables five seven five Each on their own line ~o~ With five, seven, five, We show Sophia a love One man holds for her ~o~ Sophia's first line And this is her second line And this her third line. ~o~ Five Seven and Five Sophia hates all retards Who can not count right -o- If you can not count put all haikus in section "Not Haiku, thank you" ~o~ Though a master shuns full linear narrative An antelope farts ~o~ Haiku: a verse form. Heptadekasyllabic, in three lines, like these. ~o~ Of course, none of these Are haikus, anyway; no Symbols of nature ~o~ (reply) that's ridiculous perhaps there are exceptions but all is nature. ~o~ Haiku now easy You only need skill to count And skill to bullshit ~o~ Any moron can write haiku; just stop at the seventeenth syllab ~o~ The meta haiku Describes poems with rhythm But can they dance too? ~o~

~o~ Haiku addiction You cannot just stop at one You'll write too many ~o~ Haiku and humour What clever wit wrote this shit? I don't get the jokes ~o~ William Shakespeare Why did he not write haiku? He's not Japanese. ~o~ Lots of these haikus Are in different formats, like This list, right below: sometimes they have no caps or punctuation and lots of mispellings Maybe it'll have Caps and punctuation; their authors read and write. Möglicherweise ist das haiku in einer anderen Sprache. (rough translation) Maybe is the haiku in an other language. Make all poems same format, when if that happens delete these six poems. ~o~ Intervene, I do Sitting under falling leaves Haikus must have nature ~o~ A (winter) question If a man stutters, can he Recite haiku too? ~o~ Just for the record This is the last haiku of The meta Haiku ~o~ Last haiku no more This one replaces it now Let's all write poems ~o~ The jay does not count Her Spring-time song at dawn: She only exhales ~o~ Ke ke ke ke ke Ke ke ke ke ke ke ke Ke ke ke ke ke

Miscellaneous Haiku

~o~ A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A ~o~ Some add their haiku to the start; some to the end. I guess I'll do both. ~o~ We write our haikus To appease our Sophia Goddess of something ~o~ My thumb extended It is for her I compose this, my Hitch Haiku ~o~ Sophia is hot In much the way the sun is Twelve million degrees ~o~ I'm sure Sophia Is the capital city Of Bulgaria ~o~ I'm sure SOFIA Is the captial city Of Bulgaria You spelled it wrong, you Fool. You cannot spell worth beanz. Yes, I did say beanz. ~o~ "The Brain is removed!" Sophia said as she placed it in the blender ~o~ Sometimes I like to eat antelope. Sometimes. Just for soup. Sophia. ~o~ Sophia was right This site is offline at night Need twelve sided dice ~o~ Sophia Mia Mya Moa moo moo True But not ev'ry day ~o~ I seem to recall I had Sophia one time no no, on crackers... ~o~ We are Haiku Borg. You, we will assimilate. Resistance? Futile. ~o~

~o~ Regards Sophia my old internet browser cuts and pastes bold o's ~o~ I'm eager to know if there are any words that can't be used here but the problem with this is of course that you couldn't tell them to me here ~o~ Sophia Sophi a Sophia Sophia Sophia Sophi ~o~ Lame running gag from Luxembourg makes Sophia shed a bitter tear ~o~ Parsley and Garlic Sophia uses them well for Spaghetti Sauce ~o~ Oh please Sophia Take it off for us to see Would you look like this? ~o~ (reply) No, she wouldn't, 'cause The potato is only Named after Sophie. ~o~ There are 10 kinds of people: those who know bina- ry and those who don't ~o~ Crying cockles and Mussels, alive, alive oh. And, erm, Sophia ~o~ If things could be turned This one would be number one At least for right now! ~o~ her bantam wiles spin spring into late autumn; Sophia cries out ~o~

~o~ Newest haikus are not seen much down here, but it's chronological. ~o~ Japanese poems are so very short that they can barely say any- ~o~ I once saw a cow It was a very big cow It mooed quite loudly. ~o~ And now for something Completely different, lo! Spam, spam, spam, spam, SPAM! ~o~ Who is sophia? Just let it be always known She's watching o'er you. ~o~ Procrastination My one destination when Sophia has gone ~o~ Rob Lowe he will drown The state of Virginia with Vanilla pudding ~o~ Snowman in a field listening to the raindrops wishing him fairwell ~o~ Sofjo stolico Bułgarii - grząską myślą zażółć gęślą jaźń ~o~ My name's Sophia. No, really, I'm serious. Worship me, you fools. ~o~ Loud but swift it cuts Campbell its cunning wielder Chainsaw of Ninja ~o~ I called to the wind, Who's there? Sophia it was Still knocks at my gate. ~o~ My cock grows stiffer, Longer, as I look at her I'd fuck that skank bitch ~o~ this is pathetic these angry lines of winter begging for your crotch ~o~ Sandwiches are great Peanut Butter and Jelly Beats out deli meat

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Not Haiku, thank you

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Sophia, goddess
of haiku, smites the wicked
with a big red stamp

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Use the tag line for
Indicating non-haikus
Bless'd by Sophia

~o~

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~o~ NOT HAIKU Ow Sophia. How can I? Sophia... Wow. How should I? Hohoho Sophia. ~o~ NOT HAIKU (LIMERICK) Sophia, she's a total thrill She eats taco, goose-liver and pig swill It's a terrible shame That her brain is so lame On account of being mentally ill ~o~ NOT HAIKU Sophia absolutely loves anal sex. She will toss your salad (and enjoy it too). ~o~ NOT HAIKU Sophia oh Sophia oh Sophia... ...Screw it. ~o~ NOT HAIKU Sophia, so phia, so, fee, uh, sophia, so, fee, so, fee, so, fee, ahhh. ~o~ NOT HAIKU Sophia just wished For some fine dishes of lobster knishes ~o~ NOT HAIKU lobster knishes do not exist; if they did it would violate kashruth ~o~ NOT HAIKU Oh Sophia, one day I`ll tell you ~o~ NOT HAIKU Sophia is I think A god of some thinkadink And worship we must ~o~ NOT HAIKU Sophia is against The pretty Polis But you need to be French ~o~ NOT HAIKU Sophia so sexy! Sophia so fine! I want to fuck her in the behind ~o~ NOT HAIKU Sophia loves Counting syllables In poetry ~o~ NOT HAIKU 不懂…… ~o~ NOT HAIKU Oh Sophia, one day I`ll tell you Oh dear Sophie, fruit of my loins Makes stiff many little boy's groins Wearing shirts tighter than sixty virgins Makes old men jump out of their skins

~o~ NOT HAIKU Sophia labia Massage them gently She has two cows ~o~ NOT HAIKU Sophia, who did know That, behind the farm house you did one day show me What I so wanted to see, to touch, to feel your very own sex (appeal) ~o~ NOT HAIKU Sophia, Sophia How cold this girl Sophia She tossed my heart, upon the scrapheap Love she cannot me, Sophia ~o~ NOT HAIKU S is for Sophia O is for Oh! Phia is what's left ~o~ NOT HAIKU Now here's a word that won't fit into a haiku: pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis ~o~ NOT HAIKU How are you gentlemen! All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction. ~o~ ZLATIBORIAN NON-HAIKU Ја сам дивно женско име, ајде, ђаче, погоди ме! Податке ти дајем ове: у сушједној једној земљи главни град се тако зове ко што се зовем и ја. ~o~ NOT HAIKU Sophia, When i first saw you you were singing off key karaoke in a bar in Mexico to rural farmers who gave you no appreciation, you are a babe - Dhanz ~o~ NOT HAIKU Hope she likes Tanka I'm not in a haiku mood Tired and drunk, too. Yet the thought of Sophia Compels me to write for her. ~o~ NOT HAIKU Sophia, could you pick up some milk on your way home? ~o~ NOT HAIKU, BUT COMPELLING NONETHELESS My large dog has a thing for all things chocolate and Sophia.

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The last entry was
definitely not haiku
Sophia feels shame

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How can none of these
people in the last section
even COUNT at all?

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For other pages
see disambiguation
about Sophia

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Additional
disambiguation our
Sophia has here

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There is something else
similar to a haiku
it's called a Tanka

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Notes for Sophia

~o~ O dear Sophia, Thank you for all that you did. Lots of love, Mathew ~o~ Thank you Sophia For all of the laughs you gave To us common fools ~o~ Sophia, Sophia, I wonder. Every second, I wonder. Can you hand me the beer? ~o~ Sophia, my love I long to hear your wisdom Call my cell - Ryan ~o~

~o~ Sophia, could you, Also pick up some more beer? I am seeing things. ~o~ Do me a favor, Keep this just between us two, my wife gets jealous. ~o~ sophia is you sophia the goddess yes yes yes me and you

And this middle haiku line

~o~ Haiku shall this be For to honor Sophia Says master Yoda ~o~ I've tried to write a Haiku, but I wound up one Syllable short. ~o~ All hail SOPHIA Bluewind`s Sophia Haiku Poems ~o~ Information on this section: This is my new hobby, to write Sophia Haiku poems when I`m bored Going to keep writing and put them on this page regulary, so please dont remove them ~o~ Dreamy Sophia You are my inspiration The power of dreams ~o~ I really need more sleep Sophia must wake me up Before she go go ~o~ Aliens are here Sophia has been kidnapped I see green people ~o~ Chinese Sophia I can not understand her She`s talking Chinese ~o~ It snows outside now Sophia makes a snowman Some guys destroy it ~o~ To finish the page ~o~ And so we shall leave This page in the wake of them The haiku are gone The World of Physics Branches Quantum physics · Particle physics Fundamental Concepts Chemical bonding · Gayon · Space · Speed of light · UnNews:Scientist sheds new light on speed of light · Anti-Gravity · Electricity · Gravity · Quantum Murphydynamics · Sophia Important People Albert Einstein · Richard Feynman · Michio Kaku · J. Robert Oppenheimer · Neil deGrasse Tyson