Singapore: Difference between revisions
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{{Q|In Singapore, Lee Kuan YOU''!!''|Russian reversal|[[Singapore]]}} |
{{Q|In Singapore, Lee Kuan YOU''!!''|Russian reversal|[[Singapore]]}} |
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| − | 1. A Malaysian form of [[karaoke]], mainly featuring real cheap mass produced Bollywood dance flick title songs. |
+ | 1. A Malaysian form of [[karaoke]], mainly featuring real cheap mass produced Bollywood dance flick title songs.]]. The remainder exist as [[collective consciousness]] at blogspot, or as patients on kidney dialysis machines kept dependent by being force fed peanuts. |
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| − | 2.Country founded by IMF 1957 when [[Adidas]] corporation declared that they needed another tax free zone to be able to expand vigorousely in South Asia. Today, it is described as a boring country, mainly bacause it is illegal to spit on the sidewalks. Graffiti on walls is prohibited and as a result the city remains too clean. |
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| − | Recent field reports indicate that Singapore's physical location is actually populated with foreign talent from [[China]] and [[India]]. The majority of the indigenous [[population]] remains in a [[persistent vegetative state]] that arose from complacency and [[apathy]] during the [[1997 Oral Sex Rights Crisis]]. The remainder exist as [[collective consciousness]] at blogspot, or as patients on kidney dialysis machines kept dependent by being force fed peanuts. |
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Efforts by the Singapore Idols, Slybastard Sim and Taufuck Batisah, to revive his people have proven to be ineffective. Studies by the [[United Nations]] suggest that American Idol rejects may be better suited for this task. |
Efforts by the Singapore Idols, Slybastard Sim and Taufuck Batisah, to revive his people have proven to be ineffective. Studies by the [[United Nations]] suggest that American Idol rejects may be better suited for this task. |
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Singapore is also famed for producing large [[numbers]] of whiny and vain bloggers. Singaporeans are reputed to make up more than 70% of all Asian blogger users. 80% of Singaporean bloggers are [[female]]. 90% want to marry [[William Hung]]. The other 5% want to marry Sia Suay, and the other 5% are not gay. |
Singapore is also famed for producing large [[numbers]] of whiny and vain bloggers. Singaporeans are reputed to make up more than 70% of all Asian blogger users. 80% of Singaporean bloggers are [[female]]. 90% want to marry [[William Hung]]. The other 5% want to marry Sia Suay, and the other 5% are not gay. |
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| + | The official Singaporean flower |
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| − | The official Singaporean flower is an orchid mixed breed known as the Vanda Miss Joaquin, a really sick looking hybrid flower. (Further [[research]] on orchiectomies is recommended for a good laugh) |
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| ⚫ | The official Singaporean mascot is a half-[[fish]], half-lion chimera known as the [[merlion]]. It is reputed to be the only 'lion-fish' that pees through its mouth. This takes on a sinister new overtone once one realizes that Singapore is gearing up to be the most sought-after biological sciences hub in [[Asia |
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| ⚫ | The official Singaporean mascot is a half-[[fish]], half-lion chimera known as the [[merlion]]. It is reputed to be the only 'lion-fish' that pees through its mouth. This takes on a sinister new overtone once one realizes that Singapore is gearing up to be the most sought-after biological sciences hub in [[Asia |
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| − | The Merriam-Webster defines "Kiasu" as "The Singaporean state of mind". |
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==History== |
==History== |
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Singapore till today actually belongs to Venice. |
Singapore till today actually belongs to Venice. |
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Stanford Raffles, a little known Venetian under the ambitious government of Venice long time ago led a little known secret society. it was called the "Leominatti" the "illuminati’s" ally, whose sole aim was to conquer the world making Venice the ruler of the entire earth! |
Stanford Raffles, a little known Venetian under the ambitious government of Venice long time ago led a little known secret society. it was called the "Leominatti" the "illuminati’s" ally, whose sole aim was to conquer the world making Venice the ruler of the entire earth! |
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He was secretly sent to Britain to spy. Undercover, Raffles did many good deeds and was knighted by the queen, hence was called, "Sir Stamford raffles". |
He was secretly sent to Britain to spy. Undercover, Raffles did many good deeds and was knighted by the queen, hence was called, "Sir Stamford raffles". |
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| − | Venice was at that time a rising sea port, connecting the east with the west was vital to complete the entire trade route. this would require a little island in Asia, Temasek (now Singapore)to be conquered as it's |
+ | Venice was at that time a rising sea port, connecting the east with the west was vital to complete the entire trade route. this would require a little island in Asia, Temasek (now Singapore)to be conquered as it's the Malayan tunkus (little governors who owned Temasek and Malaya)as a threat to give up this puny little island of Temasek up. In fear of their lives, the tunkus gave the island With everything going according to plan, he decided to name the country "Lion city" or Singapore/Singapura , as known today. (In Venice, lions were symbols of victory, dominance, strength and power. they use these symbols on crests, code of arms and statues to evoke pride.) |
| ⚫ | Raffles thus needed to cock up a story Till today, having British left Singapore due to unforeseen circumstances, Venice continues to rule this little trading port secretly through the "Leominatti", transferring money back to its real homeland of Venice to fund it's quiet and sadistic world domination project... |
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| − | Sir Stanford Raffles, knowing British's colonial ruling efforts at the region, posed as a volunteer to lead a team to "develop" Temasek for "British interests". But without the British’s knowledge, Raffles is actually completing Venice's sea trade dominance, that would provide funds enough to allow Venice to conquer the world. |
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| − | He successfully assassinated mistresses of the Malayan tunkus (little governors who owned Temasek and Malaya)as a threat to give up this puny little island of Temasek up. In fear of their lives, the tunkus gave the island away with an agreement that never was as fair as it seemed. |
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| − | With everything going according to plan, he decided to name the country "Lion city" or Singapore/Singapura , as known today. (In Venice, lions were symbols of victory, dominance, strength and power. they use these symbols on crests, code of arms and statues to evoke pride.) |
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| − | Raffles thus needed to cock up a story for the island's new name. He created a fictional story of a Malay price named "Sang Nila Utama" who saw a lion in the forest and thus renamed this island of Temasek, Singapura (Malay of lion city). Today, a tombless pavilion located in Singapore’s McRitchie reservoir is created as a loserish attempt to reiterate the well kept lie. Good try raffles. |
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| − | However he forgot a fact that lions never existed in Asia nor dwell anywhere near jungles. |
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==Food== |
==Food== |
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Confucius say: No Eat Gum! You No Eat Gum! You Go To Jail, Bad Boy! |
Confucius say: No Eat Gum! You No Eat Gum! You Go To Jail, Bad Boy! |
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| − | and |
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| − | Kong Zi say: Ah ah ah ah, stayin' alive, stayin alive! |
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| − | because in singapore, it's really tough to do so. |
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| − | ==Currency== |
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| − | The legal tender accepted in Singapore is [[peanut]]s, and nothing else. Each peanut is worth oldS$600,000. |
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| − | Many citizens have been forced to switch to bartering since it was introduced in July 2005. |
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| − | ==Sports== |
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| − | Singaporeans adore football (soccer) and the English Premier League. |
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| − | The local league gets little press space. |
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| − | Shopping is an official sport in Singapore. |
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Favorite national pastimes include: |
Favorite national pastimes include: |
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# [http://www.talkingcock.com Talking cock] stuff |
# [http://www.talkingcock.com Talking cock] stuff |
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# Sleeping |
# Sleeping |
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| − | # Ignorant bastard |
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| − | # Exams,Exams, and yet more examinations!!! It is often said that 6 million 2 hundred and 5 examinations take place in Singapore every second and that... amazing, isn't it? |
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| − | ==People== |
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==Economy== |
==Economy== |
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| − | The fines levied against foreign [[tourists]] support the [[economy]] of Singapore. This is not to say that the "gahmen" does not enjoy taking money from their own people. Singapore posted a record growth in GDP for the year 2004 thanks to the numerious smokers who pay out of their ass for cigarettes in Singapore. |
+ | The fines levied against foreign [[tourists]] support the [[economy]] of Singapore. This is not to say that the "gahmen" does not enjoy taking money from their own people. Singapore posted a record growth in GDP for the year 2004 thanks to the numerious smokers who pay out of their ass for cigarettes in Singapore.based largely on exporting of black unknown substance, also known as "MUD". As black is a good absorber of heat, they are exported to countries that either has drought, or to help reduce the impact global warming have on melting poles. For example, in the recent Tsuamni Incident, the Singapore Air Force, mobilised Chinooks and C-130 Hercules to transport large amount of muds to the highly damaged India. They proved to be very helpful, as the MUDs absorb all the heat in the area, making all the sea-water freeze, thus preventing more Tsunami. Some MUDs are also dumped in the North-Pole, to help ease the problem of global warming. Singapore Preshitden S R Nathan said "We, Singapore is doing their part to help ease the problem of global warming." |
| + | "). In an epic one-minute battle, Jeyaratnam was reduced to ashes by the fury of Zeus's livid and angry anger, and his powdered, lime-flavoured remains were scattered across a thousand seas and also made into a particularly good seasoning for fried chicken. Buy two pieces and get a small whipped protester free. |
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| − | Singapore is well known to have their economy based largely on exporting of black unknown substance, also known as "MUD". As black is a good absorber of heat, they are exported to countries that either has drought, or to help reduce the impact global warming have on melting poles. For example, in the recent Tsuamni Incident, the Singapore Air Force, mobilised Chinooks and C-130 Hercules to transport large amount of muds to the highly damaged India. They proved to be very helpful, as the MUDs absorb all the heat in the area, making all the sea-water freeze, thus preventing more Tsunami. Some MUDs are also dumped in the North-Pole, to help ease the problem of global warming. Singapore Preshitden S R Nathan said "We, Singapore is doing their part to help ease the problem of global warming." |
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| − | Oh, and did we mention that 75% of Singapore is pwn3d by ACS? And the other 25% by NKF. |
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| − | ==[[Religion]]== |
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| − | Contrary to what one might expect, the entire nation of Singapore worships [[Zeus]], the [[Greek]] [[God]] of [[Lightning]]. In return for Singapore's loyalty and [[peanuts]], Zeus provides citizens with uniquely colored red lightning bolts. |
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| − | In one notable incident, an upstart mortal dared challenge the power of Zeus. J B Jeyaratnam, a known communist and worshipper of the dark one [[Ralph Nader]], was arrested by a squad of Zeus's elite ninja-potatoes for the crime of "thinking about lollipops". The punishment was an eternity of necromatic servitude in the Seng Choon farms of Singapore, famous for their production of combat zombies and delicious eggs. However, at that moment Jeyaratnam (aka [[Nelson Mandela]]) used the sacred word ("testicular cancer") to gain access to Zeus's throne room (the "Philosopher's Chamber of Parliamentary Secrets"). In an epic one-minute battle, Jeyaratnam was reduced to ashes by the fury of Zeus's livid and angry anger, and his powdered, lime-flavoured remains were scattered across a thousand seas and also made into a particularly good seasoning for fried chicken. Buy two pieces and get a small whipped protester free. |
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==Culture== |
==Culture== |
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Naturally, this new [[freedom]] has also caused Singapore's thriving [[BDSM]] community to come out of the closet, and rarely a day goes by when a randy young Singaporean does not spray paint public property in the hopes that they will be caught and flogged by an attractive [[police officer]]. This habit has since been discouraged after watching the local [[sitcom]] "Police and Thief", involving an extremely fat police officer and an extremely skinny [[gangster]]. |
Naturally, this new [[freedom]] has also caused Singapore's thriving [[BDSM]] community to come out of the closet, and rarely a day goes by when a randy young Singaporean does not spray paint public property in the hopes that they will be caught and flogged by an attractive [[police officer]]. This habit has since been discouraged after watching the local [[sitcom]] "Police and Thief", involving an extremely fat police officer and an extremely skinny [[gangster]]. |
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| + | Day", and whether or not to canonize Bill Gates as a living saint. |
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| − | ==Laws== |
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| − | In addition to its more [[pedestrian]] laws and ordinances, such as banning chewing gum, posting "Beware of [[Filipino]] Pickpockets", visecting drug smugglers for scientific research, and flogging vandals, Singapore also requires that all citizens acquire a breathing [[license]] by the age of eight to continue using public [[oxygen]] resources. This breathing license is generally considered slightly more difficult than the Kentucky BAR Examination, but slightly easier than finding a [[Thai]] [[girl]] over the age of 9 who is a [[virgin]]. |
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| − | ==National Heroes== |
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| − | Singapore venerates consumer [[culture]] and draws many of it's heroes from it, such as [[Knight Rider]], [[Ronald McDonald]], [[Captain America]], and the [[man]] most beloved by all of Singapore, [[Bill Gates]]. Of course, this list is also obsolete, once Singapore found out that [[Lee Kuan Yew]] conquered [[Malaysia]], and got thrown out as a result. |
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| − | ==[[Government]]== |
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| − | Singapore utilizes a unique form of direct [[democracy]] where citizens have equal vote on all decisions. The average citizen has a voting equality weight ranging from 1 to 100, the weightage increasing with gross income and decreasing with educational level. A citizens within the ruling party have a voting equality weight in the 10-85 billion range, depending on how closely his last name resembles "Lee". |
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| − | Currently the most hotly debated public policy issues in Singapore are legislation to crack down on illegal chewing gum smuggling and kitten huffing, whether May 18th should be made "National [[Cat]]-girl Appreciation Day", and whether or not to canonize Bill Gates as a living saint. |
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Though it seems as though Singapore is a democratic society, it is actually a cover for, in reality, the Lee Dynasty. When Singapore became independent, Lee Kuan Yew was the hero. He establish what was known as the Lee Kingdom. He made it as though the country was using the government structure of what we call democracy, he was actually using the old age government structure of the Medieval times, [[Monarchy]]. Some people have even accuse him of using [[Facism]], [[Communism]] and [[Theocracy]] etc... But we do know now that it is in fact the Lee Dynasty. |
Though it seems as though Singapore is a democratic society, it is actually a cover for, in reality, the Lee Dynasty. When Singapore became independent, Lee Kuan Yew was the hero. He establish what was known as the Lee Kingdom. He made it as though the country was using the government structure of what we call democracy, he was actually using the old age government structure of the Medieval times, [[Monarchy]]. Some people have even accuse him of using [[Facism]], [[Communism]] and [[Theocracy]] etc... But we do know now that it is in fact the Lee Dynasty. |
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| + | Lee Kuan Yew was taken hite country |
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| − | Lee Kuan Yew was taken over by Goh Chok Tong in 1991, anyone would say he would rather let his son Lee Hsien loong usurp the throne to continue the Lee Dynasty. So for a short period of time, Goh Chok Tong establish what we know as the Goh Dyansty. It also seems that the Goh Dynasty was actually a cover to show the people that the government structure is Democracy, as a quick succession of another Lee would immediately be revealed to the public that it is indeed the Lee Dynasty. |
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| − | This senerio is somewhat similiar to the USA where the Bush Dynasty has already been deeply entwined into the country so the dynasty is unlikely to fall. We can prove this from the lastest election of the USA where the second Bush manage to retain his throne using this tactic. Watch and see if the third Bush and the third Lee will succeed the two thrones of United States of America and Singapore respectively. |
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| − | ==Education== |
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| − | The social class of the indigenous population are grouped in the following broad categories: |
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| − | 1. Doctorate obtained in any predominantly white country, e.g. [[United Spades]], [[Mediocre Britain]], [[Australia]] |
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| − | 2. Master's obtained in any predominantly white country |
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3. Bachelor's obtained in any predominantly white country |
3. Bachelor's obtained in any predominantly white country |
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==Transportation== |
==Transportation== |
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| − | Until [[2004]], Singapore had an [[excellent]] [[public transportation]] system that functioned much like the [[New York City| |
+ | Until [[2004]], Singapore had an [[excellent]] [[public transportation]] system that functioned much like the [[New York City|a revitalization of Singapore's previously languid Rickshaw industry. It has - for a ]], and generates all of its power needs (and that of much of southern Asia) through a closely guarded device that somehow is able to convert [[SPAM]] email into electrical power. Unlike [[Canada]], Singapore does not use [[Rough Gay Wolf Sex]] as an energy source. |
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| − | While this bold move was initially met with great [[resistance]] by much of the population, it is generally believed to have caused a revitalization of Singapore's previously languid Rickshaw industry. It has - for a short time, but only in Orchard Road and Shenton Way. |
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| − | Currently, the most popular form of Singaporean transport is the "grenade jump". A squad of counter-terrorists will form a vertical column, standing on one another's shoulders. A Rocket-Propelled Grenade ("Mr. Softy") is fired at the bottom of the column, causing the entire group to be transported to the next map. This method is typical of "quaint orientals", who also wear their socks differently from Westerners (they wear the right sock on the left foot and vice versa) for increased [[wallhack]]. |
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| − | cheechye |
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| − | ==Energy Policy== |
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| − | Singapore is [[the world]]'s leading exporter of [[energy]], and generates all of its power needs (and that of much of southern Asia) through a closely guarded device that somehow is able to convert [[SPAM]] email into electrical power. Unlike [[Canada]], Singapore does not use [[Rough Gay Wolf Sex]] as an energy source. |
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==See also== |
==See also== |
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Revision as of 19:09, 20 February 2006
“In Singapore, Lee Kuan YOU!!”
1. A Malaysian form of karaoke, mainly featuring real cheap mass produced Bollywood dance flick title songs.]]. The remainder exist as collective consciousness at blogspot, or as patients on kidney dialysis machines kept dependent by being force fed peanuts.
Efforts by the Singapore Idols, Slybastard Sim and Taufuck Batisah, to revive his people have proven to be ineffective. Studies by the United Nations suggest that American Idol rejects may be better suited for this task.
Singapore is also famed for producing large numbers of whiny and vain bloggers. Singaporeans are reputed to make up more than 70% of all Asian blogger users. 80% of Singaporean bloggers are female. 90% want to marry William Hung. The other 5% want to marry Sia Suay, and the other 5% are not gay.
The official Singaporean flower The official Singaporean mascot is a half-fish, half-lion chimera known as the merlion. It is reputed to be the only 'lion-fish' that pees through its mouth. This takes on a sinister new overtone once one realizes that Singapore is gearing up to be the most sought-after biological sciences hub in [[Asia
History
Singapore till today actually belongs to Venice. Venice, before many people were born was a rising superpower behind Britain. It reclaimed land and established itself as a thriving trading port which made the place damn rich. Stanford Raffles, a little known Venetian under the ambitious government of Venice long time ago led a little known secret society. it was called the "Leominatti" the "illuminati’s" ally, whose sole aim was to conquer the world making Venice the ruler of the entire earth! He was secretly sent to Britain to spy. Undercover, Raffles did many good deeds and was knighted by the queen, hence was called, "Sir Stamford raffles". Venice was at that time a rising sea port, connecting the east with the west was vital to complete the entire trade route. this would require a little island in Asia, Temasek (now Singapore)to be conquered as it's the Malayan tunkus (little governors who owned Temasek and Malaya)as a threat to give up this puny little island of Temasek up. In fear of their lives, the tunkus gave the island With everything going according to plan, he decided to name the country "Lion city" or Singapore/Singapura , as known today. (In Venice, lions were symbols of victory, dominance, strength and power. they use these symbols on crests, code of arms and statues to evoke pride.) Raffles thus needed to cock up a story Till today, having British left Singapore due to unforeseen circumstances, Venice continues to rule this little trading port secretly through the "Leominatti", transferring money back to its real homeland of Venice to fund it's quiet and sadistic world domination project...
Food
Singapore's national foods include the durian, chicken lice, smelly laksa and McDonald's.
Confucius say: No Eat Gum! You No Eat Gum! You Go To Jail, Bad Boy!
Favorite national pastimes include:
- Taking an extra plastic bag when they go grocery shopping because it's FREE.
- SMSing (known to the British as "texting", and to Americans as "Witchcraft")
- Writing to the Straits Times Forum page
- Queuing for Hello Kittys or any other McDonald's toys
- Watching excruciatingly bad, locally made sitcoms, majority of them starring Zoe Tay
- Watching James Lye's acting in VR Man
- Talking cock stuff
- Sleeping
- Ignorant bastarddoes not include the Singaporeans, tourists, virtual people or ghosts which are also present, all of which seem to be plentiful.
Economy
The fines levied against foreign tourists support the economy of Singapore. This is not to say that the "gahmen" does not enjoy taking money from their own people. Singapore posted a record growth in GDP for the year 2004 thanks to the numerious smokers who pay out of their ass for cigarettes in Singapore.based largely on exporting of black unknown substance, also known as "MUD". As black is a good absorber of heat, they are exported to countries that either has drought, or to help reduce the impact global warming have on melting poles. For example, in the recent Tsuamni Incident, the Singapore Air Force, mobilised Chinooks and C-130 Hercules to transport large amount of muds to the highly damaged India. They proved to be very helpful, as the MUDs absorb all the heat in the area, making all the sea-water freeze, thus preventing more Tsunami. Some MUDs are also dumped in the North-Pole, to help ease the problem of global warming. Singapore Preshitden S R Nathan said "We, Singapore is doing their part to help ease the problem of global warming." "). In an epic one-minute battle, Jeyaratnam was reduced to ashes by the fury of Zeus's livid and angry anger, and his powdered, lime-flavoured remains were scattered across a thousand seas and also made into a particularly good seasoning for fried chicken. Buy two pieces and get a small whipped protester free.
Culture
While Singapore is a highly globalized Asian nation, it is essential to remember that Singaporeans are not like Texans, for despite their shared love of 10 gallon hats, most Singaporeans type "LOL" as "LOLX!" And most Singaporeans play Dai Ti, sometimes spelled as Tai Di, Tai Ti or Dai Di, which is a kind of ecchi dating sim.
Sexual Morals
Historically, Singapore has been a conservative nation. Lately, it has fallen victim to the Masters of the Internet and "Anime Culture." This influx of testacles has caused the vast majority of the population to dress up as Sailor Moon in an attempt to seduce SCGS schoolgirls.
Naturally, this new freedom has also caused Singapore's thriving BDSM community to come out of the closet, and rarely a day goes by when a randy young Singaporean does not spray paint public property in the hopes that they will be caught and flogged by an attractive police officer. This habit has since been discouraged after watching the local sitcom "Police and Thief", involving an extremely fat police officer and an extremely skinny gangster. Day", and whether or not to canonize Bill Gates as a living saint.
Though it seems as though Singapore is a democratic society, it is actually a cover for, in reality, the Lee Dynasty. When Singapore became independent, Lee Kuan Yew was the hero. He establish what was known as the Lee Kingdom. He made it as though the country was using the government structure of what we call democracy, he was actually using the old age government structure of the Medieval times, Monarchy. Some people have even accuse him of using Facism, Communism and Theocracy etc... But we do know now that it is in fact the Lee Dynasty.
Lee Kuan Yew was taken hite country
3. Bachelor's obtained in any predominantly white country
4. Any qualifications obtained in Singapore (except for those listed below)
5. Qualifications obtained at the RJC
6. Qualifications obtained at the NUS/NTU
Artists were considered losers until recently, whereas they are now considered retards.
Transportation
Until 2004, Singapore had an excellent public transportation system that functioned much like the a revitalization of Singapore's previously languid Rickshaw industry. It has - for a , and generates all of its power needs (and that of much of southern Asia) through a closely guarded device that somehow is able to convert SPAM email into electrical power. Unlike Canada, Singapore does not use Rough Gay Wolf Sex as an energy source.