Stormtroopers vs. Red Shirts: Difference between revisions
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[[Oscar Wilde]], always one to recognize the violation of laws of thermodynamics, found a way to harness the limitless kinetic energy of the battle to power his [[Uncyclopedia]]. |
[[Oscar Wilde]], always one to recognize the violation of laws of thermodynamics, found a way to harness the limitless kinetic energy of the battle to power his [[Uncyclopedia]]. |
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| + | [[Some]] scient(olog)ists claim that the Stormtroopers vs. Red Shirts is clearly flawed, because in [[Return of the Jedi]] Leia is hit by a stormtrooper. Therefore, the average Stormtrooper's aiming ability can be expressed in a formula. If 'a' is aiming ability and 'Pn' is Plot Necessity, then: |
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| − | All rumors about the [[Uncyclopedia]] being powered by a [[Cat-Toast_Device#Oscar_Wilde.27s_Cat-Toast_Device|Cat-Toast Device]] or a [[Wind farm]] are totally baseless. This, of course, makes them absolutely true. There are new theories emerging which claim that [[Uncyclopedia]] might be powered by [[Whale Blowhole Power Plant]]s, although the chances of this are low, seeing as [[whales]] need water, and water costs money, which [[Uncyclopedia]] drinks and uses for [[teeth]] brushing, and [[whales]] only have [[teeth]] on the upper jaw, or lower jaw, we can't decide which. While it is true that most people use [[water]] for their drinking and teeth brushing, I sincerly doubt the people of [[Uncyclopedia]] are "normal", and therefore probably reserve the right not to accept the existance of this so called, "[[water]]". |
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| + | a=0+Pn |
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| − | A tribute to Oscar Wilde's genius can be found on the gamespy grudge here: http://tinyurl.com/yvle5c |
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| + | The death of Red Shirts is a Plot Necessity, and so therefore the presence of the Red Shirts must ''force'' the Stormtroopers to hit them. However, should anybody ''important'' show up, the Stormtroopers could put a blaster to their head and pull the trigger and it would ''still'' miss the important person. |
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[[Category:Science Fiction]] |
[[Category:Science Fiction]] |
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Revision as of 07:01, 20 April 2007
A Stormtroopers vs. Red Shirts Device is the never-ending source of energy that powers the Uncyclopedia when the Cat-Toast Device is not working for some reason. Usually this happens when the energy-giving cat dies and must be replaced by a new one. Scientists are working constantly to figure out how to prevent this, in the mean time the Stormtroopers vs. Red Shirts device serves as back-up.
The device is composed of two pure substances:
- Stormtroopers - those white-armored guys in Star Wars who have no aim and always die.
- Red Shirts - those red-shirted guys in Star Trek who have no name and always die, especially on away missions.
In 1977 A.C., Oscar Wilde, in trying to invent sensible jeans that don't go out of style, accidentally beamed an army of Red Shirts into a steel cage with an army of Stormtroopers. "My Bad," he said.
They soon began to fight at point-blank range, and on the basis that neither army without a meaningful input by an external force can win the other, the fighting continues to this day. One Red Shirt, Lieutenant Leslie, claims to have been wounded, although some scientists dispute the validity of this claim.
Oscar Wilde, always one to recognize the violation of laws of thermodynamics, found a way to harness the limitless kinetic energy of the battle to power his Uncyclopedia.
Some scient(olog)ists claim that the Stormtroopers vs. Red Shirts is clearly flawed, because in Return of the Jedi Leia is hit by a stormtrooper. Therefore, the average Stormtrooper's aiming ability can be expressed in a formula. If 'a' is aiming ability and 'Pn' is Plot Necessity, then:
a=0+Pn
The death of Red Shirts is a Plot Necessity, and so therefore the presence of the Red Shirts must force the Stormtroopers to hit them. However, should anybody important show up, the Stormtroopers could put a blaster to their head and pull the trigger and it would still miss the important person.