User:Zana Dark/Who Love Cheesy Poos
“I'm flying away to find a source for processed cheese.”
Who Love Cheesy Poos, or WLCP for short, is an American death metal band known for making heavy metal songs with lyrics remarkably similar to other popular songs on the radio, but centered around a theme of eating fake cheese foodstuffs...
Rise to Fame[edit | edit source]
Mailed a box containing 1000 headless pigeons and a demo tape to Sony Music headquarters with a sign on it reading, "Squab, suckers!!!"
WLCP tickets usually sell out...Despite an impressive catalogue of work, WLCP is primarily know as a live band, and ticket prices are known to rival Madonna's on the black market.
| “ | The most fucking like...sweetest show ever. If you had to choose between sex and seeing the WLCP live, you'd choose ...wait, maybe that's not a good example. | ” |
By February of 2006 the Nachos to Abuse tour was in full swing, just like your teacher's armflaps.
... WLCP made a colossal comeback with the single ... which has sold over 12 copies worldwide, and is 12 more albums than you've sold ever in your entire life.
Discography[edit | edit source]
| Album | Year | Album | Year | |
| The Call of the Walrus | 1982 | The Art of Ordering Omelettes | 1998 | |
| Procrastina... (incomplete) | 1987 | Speed of Noise | 2002 | |
| Enter the Bathroom | 1989 | Anticipa... | 2010 | |
| Pink Oboe | 1992 | We Need Money | 2014 |
Singles[edit | edit source]
|
Another Brick in the Eye (1998) (file info) |
| Listen to Who Love Cheesy Poos! |
| Single | Year | Single | Year | |
| We Love Cheesy Poos | 1982 | I Hope That Smell's Not You | 2002 | |
| Song From the Pink Oboe | 1992 | Mullet Time | 2015 |
Death of a Drummer[edit | edit source]
Many fans were disturbingly shocked when they heard the tragic news ... The cause of death was ...
Death of Another Drummer[edit | edit source]
...met his untimely demise when he fell off of the stage and onto a woman that was breastfeeding in the audience, killing both the drummer and woman instantly. Luckily, the baby is expected to live.
...And Another[edit | edit source]
...requested that his gravestone had the text, "Buy Our New Album: We Need Money, In Stores Now!" engraved on it.
WLCP Drummers Cursed?[edit | edit source]
While the death of ..., ... and ... shocked the entire band, they believed that touring was still possible, and launched the 2014 Sans Drums tour. The tour began in August 2014, and by...
Band Members[edit | edit source]
- Cruz Dickofson - Lead Vocals
- Mick "Not That One" Jagger - Backup Vocals (1982-1989)
- Honore De Balzac Jr. - Bass, Keyboards
- "Wedge" - Lead Guitar
- Nigel Dickofson - Head Flautist
- Ted Danson - Backup Dancer
| Drummer | Years | Drummer | Years | |
| ... | 1982-1990 | ... | 1998-2006 | |
| ... | 1990-1998 | ... | 2006-2014 |
Where Are They Now?[edit | edit source]
Steamy News from Loudwire:[edit | edit source]
WLCP will be performing "Mullet Time" off of their latest album, "We Need Money," live next Tuesday during the Empty V Awards ...
An Excerpt From Big Hunky Jewish Men Monthly:[edit | edit source]
"It started as a normal day for Hans, the 78 year old pro-choice Republican, who was watching the new Sailor Moon episode at his local Elk's Lodge, when he saw an advertisement for the greatest band ever: Who Love Cheesy Poos. He had just finished pleasuring himself to the Anticipa... album, which his grandson had downloaded from Limewire earlier that morning, and was now anticipa... the upcoming tour."
Band Comment[edit | edit source]
We are not ".. IN OUR WANING STAGE," or "JUST ANOTHER D-LIST BAND COPYING PANTERA," so all you salad-tossing asshats can go back to MySpace and masturbate to Miley Cyrus.
Outie 3000 bitches,
Cruz Dickofson
P.S.: Tell your wife I said hi!