User talk:Thepole

Llama Flu

Polish llama flu, poleus llamalitus, or simply, Llama flu is a virus which symptoms include uncontrollable spitting, random chanting of the polish national anthem,dementia and random patches of thick fur growing out of the victims body.

The virus can by passed on from any contact whatsoever with a llama that has the virus.The virus was discovered in 1817 by the polish physicist,builder and philosipher professor Pollama(1800-1900), the great, great grandfather of remelston ryzamavich. Pollamas other discoveries include finding out what space was made out of,which we all know is coffee(without milk, and fully caffeinated), which is why you always see astronauts bouncing around, because they are hyper from the coffee which is so fine it diffuses through their spacesuits. Pollama also discovered the meaning of life, which he unfortunately did not reveal to us before he sadly died of llama flu in 1900(R.I.P proff. pollama). Although it is often thought that proffessor Pollama is the only person who holds this knowledge, people still think they can find a solution to this question from the seven times table. Soon after Pollamas death, a giant talking rock in a parallel universe invented an formula to work this out: $Themeaningoflife(M)=Thevolumeoftheuniverse(U)*Thenumberofdaysinthepolishyearortheequivalenttoaweekforanyothercountryintheworld(P)$,the giant talking rock calculated that the area of the universe was six polish kilometres cubed(PKM^3)(1 km^3 = 678999923000000000000001 PKM^3)and the amount of days in one polish year, or a week was 7. therefore 6*7=42.Pollama was also the first person to land on the moon, but the americans persuaded him with large sums of money to give all the credit to some guy called neil armstrong, which he kindly agreed to do, because he was so kind (even though the americans threatened to hang him by his genetalia if he didnt).

Professor Benedict Pollama ryzamavich

Some claimed to have been haunted by this guy in their dreams, persuading them that he was the first person to land on the moon, and cursing at the americans.His great, great grandson Remelston Ryzamavich claims that he appeared in his dreams one night, saying to Remelston that his destiny is to build conservatories and also spread Pollamas fame around the world. Remelston took this to mind, and not only spread the word of Pollama but also made building conservatories a polish tradition.Remelston later worked for the German chemist Wilheim blitz in genetically engineering gorillas to see what happened, the expirement went horribly wrong and king kong was made, they then tried to cover this up by releasing king kong into the rainforests of poland, where noone goes. George of the bush complained about this when king kong had left his droppings all over georges land, and one had even managed to land on his house completely destroying it. George was obviously not too happy about this, and released his kungfu preist to kick king kongs ass. King Kong put up a good fight but died from a fatal brain haemorrhage but soon recovered and now lives in the rainforests of poland, but george of the bush says he wont allow king kong to come within 1000 metres of him or he threatens to release the kung-fu priest on him again.

Wilheim claimed that professor pollama was actually german and that he was his great, great grandfather but Remelston claims that this is a pile of nonsense and accuses him of being selfish.,and strongly denies Wilheims claims,saying that this is Wilheims plot to become famous. Wilheim and Remelston no longer work with each other.