User:Zim ulator/electrified mocha chinchilla versus the concrete vagina

e|m|c versus the Concrete Vagina

e|m|c| challenges the concrete vagina to mortal combat.

From the far across the galaxy it came, all concretey and vaginal, on a mission only the addled mind of a psychotic madman who's nuts could comprehend it.

The e|m|c| challenges the concrete vagina to mortal combat contest

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The challenge is to write the funniest article, beginning with the title and given picture.

RULES

1. The origin of the Concrete Vagina must be discussed.
2. e|m|c| must have an unusual weapon.
3. It must be written in slightly stilted English. For example, the placement of the wor "it" at the end of the first sentence.
4. One of the following must be a significant component of the story:
   1. Gilligan's Island
   2. A doomsday device
   3. Klingons
   4. Chile (country or pepper)
   5. The best weed you ever smoked
   6. The most beer you've ever drunk
   7. The phrase, "Argh! Bring me the cabin boy, and a bucket o'lard!"
   8. The Bat Fuck Howitzer
   9. Algebra

PRIZES

1. 3 randomly-timed bans (or not, if you prefer)
2. A template of some sort, I imagine.
3. An invisible 108 piece metric and SAE socket set
4. A possible mention in the UnSignpost

Must be 18 or over to enter, or be able to lie convincingly if younger.