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Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American actor and media personality. After serving in the United States Gay Force, he began his rise to fame in the film industry. He soon became well known for his exceptional performances in films such as The Way Of The Dragon and Brokeback Mountain 2 - Thats Not Elbow Grease. With his place in movie legend secure, he then moved on to popular television series; Back To Texas - Blade Ranger, a story in which the Ranger, played by Norris, must battle rouge androids and travel forward to the past to save the future from the present. However, these happy times were not to last. For a demented cult of internet users, known only as the Force of Undeniable Rastas of the Rightious Youths Sect (F.U.R.R.Y.S.), for no reason other than having already hit the Wank Wall that day, began spreading a mass of evil lies about him. These lies would later become known as "The Chuck Norris Facts".
The Chuck Norris Facts[edit | edit source]
These so called facts were in fact (ha fucking ha) a collection of fabricated lies designed specifically to tarnish Norris's reputation as a lover of peace and a devout Christian by claiming he had carried out multiple acts of extreme force, pointless cruelty, extreme Forcability, hoax calls to pizza delivery services, forgeting Poland, defiance of Gods will and even extreme force, often always at the same time. One such example was the alteration of his motto from "spread love, not STDs" to " I LOVE to spread STDs, especially AIDS, now I'm off to your mams house to do some Badass Freaky Kun-Fo Shit to her Passage of Love, BOO-YA!". When news of these crippling untruths reached his ears, Chuck immediately called for a gathering of the Elves. However, the Elves were busy making presants and killing orcs