User:XXstalinatorXx/United and Brilliant Kingdom of the Federation of the Democratic People's Republic of Czechloswissadoniastan Confederacy

Formerly known as the Former Czechloswissadoniastani Confederacy of the Madaluxenberian Empire of General Motors (FCCMEGM). This culture rich nation of mortgage salesmen and exotic gay prostitutes are a proud people and founders of the original Hot Pocket, the pinwheel, and the super-colliding super button. The country currently resides on the Atlantic seaboard between Madaluxenberia and the Canary Islands. It is an member of United Nations (UN),Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC), the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) and the Citizens United Negating Technology for Life and Peoples Safety (CUNTFLAPS). The nation's standing in the world as an international port, airfield, Orbital Launch Pad (fancy word for Missile Silo...), and checkpoint for foreign nationals. All this was permitted by the UN in 2001 putting Malta in economic instability.

History

What is now known as the "UBKFDPRCC" and was originally called "Isla del Genérico" which was formed on the 29th of February, 1731 after the discovery of the land by the famous explorer named Wells Fargo after his exile from Liechtenstein due to his altered mental status and his love of public nudity/masterbation. The modern name "UBKFDPRCC", as recognized by the United Nations, came from the many wars the nation had fought over its recent history. The original name was undisputed for many generations due to plagiarism and claims to land and history, But over the years no official historic name was given to the nation due to the national policy dubbed "we wanted to, but we were to lazy." act of 1732. They have fought and died for everything from national pride, to the rights to the name "Hot Pocket", the national wonder and symbol of their golden age in research and development.

Wars

Cezchloswissadoniastan is the only recorded country with 365.25 days of peace and stability. The following wars listed are the major armed conflicts that had eaither reformed the country or of little to medium significance to its history.

The War of Isla del Genérico (1732-1901)

The history of the war is shrouded in mystery (and repetitive stupidity...). Historians believe that the indigenous tribes of the island welcomed Wells Fargo and his men with open arms. the very arms that Wells Fargo, being as drunk as presumed, cut off at the first instance of peace offering. The tides of the war shifted back and forth from when the first assaults on their major village. thus began the first Battle of Chuchuindapoopoo on the 2nd of March, 1732. by the 6th of June 1853, The 43rd and last offensive on Chuchuindapoopoo was initiated. By the time the village had been rendered secured by Wells Fargo and his men, over 37,000 men and 40 cardboard naval vessels were expended in the town, over half the national reserves of Hot Pockets had been depleted, estimated at a rate of 2000 tonnes in 15 days. Wells Fargo, Glorifying his victory of the seized town famously quoted, "Hella Ho Yearh yippie hyearh we iz win!!" and on the very next day, Wells had realized that they have not won the war because he had over 12 more villages of the same military strength to capture. By wars end in, the casualties estimated 2000+ more casualties than the American casualties in the Vietnam war. Wells Fargo Later Perished at the pivotal "Battle of Returning Home" He was the oldest Generals to have ever lived at 173.

The War against Liechtenstein (1901-1902)

By 1901, Liechtenstein was suffering from agricultural inefficiency's and corruption due to the massive population drop and its inability to muster enough moral boosting and population feeding Hot Pockets to its people and also could not support its newly formed colony of New Genérico/Isla del Genérico/new liechtenstein/Republic of General Motors. Under the iron grip of General Wallace C. Motors, New Genérico/Isla del Genérico/new liechtenstein/Republic of General Motors had been plotting succession of its Colony to be the Sworn Nation of the New Genérico Republic of Isla del Genérico of General Motors to be its name. So on the 32nd of January (according to the New Genérico Republic of Isla del Genérico of General Motors), 1901 the NGRIGGM declared its independence and had created their own calendar (months ranging to about 66 days). Practically a bloodless campaign except the one NGRIGGM fusilier who stubbed his toe on a howitzer and cutting himself slighnty thus causing the gunner to light the fuse and fire into a friendly platoon of men killing 12 and wounding 2. the Liechtenstein casualties resulted from famine getting to the island. thus ending the war and leaving the small island nation independent.

The New Genérico-Swiss war (1902-1903)

The war between the invading Swiss army and the New Genérico National army was a clash of natural resources. The Swiss had sent prospectors to New Genérico to find a special metal (*Classified*) within their Swiss army knives. The Swiss required large quantities of the precious metal for export of their knives and first generation multi- tools, thus resulting in large scale fighting on the only mountain on the island. Mountain Dew. Casualties Mounted on both sides Until the Swiss mounted a full scale invasion of the island and occupying it for 3 years. Wallace C. Motors was later hung along with his new flag.

The Czechlo-Swiss War (1906-1909)

During the brutal occupation of Switzerland (genocides and other crimes against humanity), Tensions within Austria-Hungary have broken and the Swiss were forced to fight the Brno-Praga Alliance (modern day Czechoslovakia) Although the war was with Austria Hungary, The leader of the Brno-Praga alliance quoted "We simply dont give a fuck because Austria-Hungary is going to shit so were going to just go ahead and take their asses out" Bluntly as stated the military actions between the two alliances formed a very strong coalition to fight the Swiss Reserve on the (now war torn)New Genérico. The Brno-Praga Royal Fusilier Commando Alpha Elite section squad was the tip of the spear to an operation that would leave no surviving war veterans for the Swiss Reserve. Leaving the battered island under a mixed occupation.

World War 1 + The Czechloswissadonian Civil War (1914-1951)

When World War 1 struck the world, The Brno-Praga alliance had a border resolution with their mother country Austria-Hungary to leave it temporarily occupied to them. Constantly, the staggering nation (now with no name other than its occupants) was having men thrown into the trenches of WW1 and killing off half their population, But the war didn't end for them there. The Macedonians (fighting with serbia against Austria Hungary) Had Invaded the small island just as the Brno-Praga Royal Fusilier Commando Alpha Elite section squad did. At wars end, the Treaty of Versailles have negotiated the naming dispute of the island by officially Branding (understatement) the countries name as Cezchloswissadoniastan after the President of Derkaderkastan Derkmen Himjarahaalahauakbarderpasherpaburka the 3rd had recieved a portion of land due to one of his soldiers placing a flag on top of a hut on the island, leading to Civil War that lead Nazi ,Soviet ,American ,Japanese and Madaluxenberian involvement during the Second World War and reunification in its later years of conflict.

The Czechloswissadoniastani missile crisis (1951-1969)

During the Cold War, Cezchloswissadoniastan was influenced by both the NATO countries and all the countries in the Warsaw pact. Although the US embassy stationed there did use influential McDonald's burgers to buy into the locals minds, the nation's communist insurgency was rising to power and retaliated by spreading Без перевода (McCommunist's) burgers. fighting broke out in the country wasting 320,000 tonnes of burgers and have lost 6,000 troops each until the Communists rose to power. in their succession the Soviets welcomed them and gave them the 5 Trident D5 ICBM's and various SLBM designs to launch at Europe. When the clock struck 2 minutes to midnight, the CSSR (Czechloswissadonian Soviet Socialist Republic) actually launched one of their Trident Missiles but a malfunction caused by a Hot Pocket in the Electronic Launch Control wiring shorted the circuit and caused the missile to prematurely detonate at 103 ft, thus detonating the other nuclear weapons causing a chain reaction of the nuclear weapons and saturating the island setting it ablaze in nuclear fire. Shortly after, nuclear weapons in response to the launch confirmation started detonating all around the island. More than 1000 ICBM's and SLBM's launched by NATO struck the island. The Soviets also thought the Capitalist's were invading the island and using nuclear warfare so in their retaliation they launched close to 1300 nuclear missiles from both Russia and its satellites also including China. everyone on the island perished exept for one person. A man named Mikhail Hawk from Madaluxenberia has survived the nuclear blast but was heavily deformed. after years of asexually reproducing and rebuilding, Cezchloswissadoniastan was restored to its rightful glory, but was now populated with madaluxeberians.

Culture

The people of United and Brilliant Kingdom of the Federation of the Democratic Peoples Republic of Cezchloswissadoniastan Confederacy are not as complicated as the name of the country makes it appear. The country is rich with culture and tradition that appeal to more people than the country has in its graveyard.

Music

Fans of the Jonas Brothers should know that their country inspired them to make their music. but other Czechloswissadoniastani bands and groups such as Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, and Lady Gaga are also proud examples. Others such as Usher, Lil Wayne, everyone in slipknot, maroon 5, U-2, U-2's cover band U-231, and Queen are also other great hits from Cezchloswissadoniastan. But what they are mostly renown for is their Electronic Crunk Screamo music. This is there folk music, there new generation music was destroyed in a simultaneous suicide bombing on every single major record label headquarters in the land.

Sports

Cezchloswissadoniastan has many athletes and plays a wide array of sports and games. They had won the world Gold medal during 1948's Olympics and glorified its national belonging. Although after they won their metal they were officially kicked out of the Olympics and allowed silver metal at best due to their proud but obnoxious National Anthem which consists of a total of 16 minutes, 10 minutes of the vuvuzela and 6 minutes of a shredding guitar solo by Michael Angelo Batio, A proud citizen of Cezchloswissadoniastan.

Religion

The main Czechloswissadoniastani religion of most of its people is none at all. Most of the people that live and lived on the island saw and can still see the horrors of the wars brought on them. They believe that there is no god in the world that had to have killed so many of their people to equalize the good and evil. Other than the Atheists, Here are the percentages of religions that are worshiped in the country.

Pastafarianism 67%

Rastafarianism 13%

Shih Muslim 0.02% (the soldier that fought for Derkaderkastan lived there and made a family

Invisible and Pink Unicorn 10.98%

Jewish 9%

There was a presence of Christianity, but they were wiped out during the wars. (not the first time.....)

Economy

The Czechloswissadoniastani Economy is very heavily dependent on agricultural sources, developing tourism and erotic gay prostitution. Although their economy is suffering from a 67% unemployment rate due to military reduction treaties, Inflation as high as the Great Depression and prostitution not being a legal "job"; diplomacy is keeping the nation afloat through supply drops and the money printing press.

Imports

Czechloswissadoniastan had imported over 95% of their products through ties with their former occupants and a mix of stealing. However, during the start of 2008's national year of the Hot Pocket celebration and recognition, Czechloswissadoniastani figures have changed to a 100% full import status due to the 135% microwave and small oven purchases of the quarterly report. During the spring of 2008, Czechloswissadoniastan had spent (tbc)