User:Wootlid/Hillsdale

Hillsdale is a city in Michigan, Canada, and is most well known for its immense assistance in the defeat of the Grecians in World War Dubya. Hillsdale is the home of the very famous Hillsdalians, who are also well known for such things as:

• Being rednecks
• Being Michibillies
• Being Vampire Slayers
• Voting for George W. Bush (thanks to the efforts of the glorious Hillsdale Academy!!!)

Tyler Condon

Tyler "Golf is teh awesomest sport ever" Condon is the arguable leader of the Hillsdalian Youth Committee of Hillsdale High School. Tyler Condon is famous for being the best golfer in the world, and he pared against such great golfers as Tiger Woods, Jay Leno, Snoop Dogg, and every citisen of Australia (Including the kangaroos). Tyler, of course, won all these matches with amazing ability to smack the ball 600 yards with his penis. It is widely believed that Tyler's hair does not grow, and is merely gelled, permanently, in one spot/style. He also invented Condos.

Nick Sarles

Nick Sarles is the indisputable God of llamas. Nick, born in 1943 by Nick's Dad and Some Lady, has been Bill Gates' only still-living disciple for 25 years. He is also a male prostitute. He was Vishnu for 200 years before being kicked out of office by his successor, Vishnu. After a 56 year battle with the current Vishnu he gave up and went to the ways of Sake and after many long days invented the Brett Simonds theory of relativity and discovered that god is in fact a giant crab at the bottom of the ocean. He also wrote the Brett Simonds Bible. Nick's Cracked out Theories See here for proof on Nick's Theories

Artist rendition of Nick (Vishnu) stalking his successor (Vishnu) after his removal from office.

Nick's Dad

Nick's Dad is the father of Nick Sarles and has been accredited for the invention of Subway, and being a self-proclaimed relative of Bono, from the band U2. Nick's Dad owns every piece of U2 merchandise in existence...thrice, and is believed to know more about Bono than Bono does.

Andrew Horrighs

Andrew Horrighs is famous in the lands of The Hillsdale High School Band Room, for his role in having insulting messages about him written on stands. Such include:

• Andrew Horrighs likes to eat the big hot dogs.
• Andrew Horrighs belongs on Jerry Springer.
• Nick Sarles checks out Andrew and he likes it.
• Andrew Horrighs (insert insult here)
• Andrew Horrighs has a HOTT Sister and is a n00b
• Andrew Horrighs defaces public property

It should be noted that, in C&C Generals, Andrew has lost every single match he has ever played against Anthony Alvarez; this number is at least twenty or so.

Ryan Connor

Ryan "Dousche Bag" Connor is the best Hockey Player at HHS and doesn't pwn a lot of noobz. He is most famous for not-pwning-as-many-noobz-as-Dustin, and was very fuzzy, until his being shaved in the Great Fuzzy Feud of 2004. He also the last remaining of the Fuzzy Bear as wrote about by Nick Sarles in his book the last of the Fuzz. He touches himself at night.

Brett Simonds

Brett Simonds is a graduate of Hillsdale High School who has through the Brett Simonds theory of relativity and the Brett Simonds Bible has been proven to be the creator of the Universe, Vin Diesel and the center of the Universe upon which all things are relative. According to the Brett Simonds theory of relativity all things are relative to Brett Simonds. Brett Simonds has never actually taken a step in his life. He lifts his foot and the universe moves foward to compansate. He also Pwnz n00bz at Chess.

History

• Hillsdale was founded in 1779 by Hershel Crocket (1664 - 2042), the Jewish 'Coon Hunter.
• In 1800, Hershel Crocket began expanding the Hillsdalian empire by making buildings out of 'Coonskins (Is this 'coon skins or 'coons kins?) When this didn't work, he travelled through space to alderonn to begin his training as a Jedi 'coon hunter. Once learning the force, he began pwning racoons with so much efficiency, he became known as Hershel "Uses the force to pwn so many racoons that he gets this awesome and excessively long quotated middle nickname as his excessively long quotated middle name" Crocket.
• By 1827, the population of Hillsdale was nearly up to a whopping 3 people. Hershel had a bad case of limp wang and could therefore only have children once every 23 years, and his first three were lost due to pregnancy complications. (A.K.A. R.A.S.(***))
• In the year 1899, Hershel began preparing for the new millenium by having immense Native American orgies, resulting in the Baby Boom. (Also see, American History) It must also be understood that back in 1899, also known as A Long Time Ago, people lived to be up to 936 years old. (Also see, The Bible)
• In modern day, 2006, Hershel attends High School at Hillsdale. He wears a 'coonskin (once again...) hat that he hunted himself at the Cedar Point leather shop, in sandusky. Hillsdale is now famous for being really boring and has adopted the nickname: ReallyBoringDale. It's The People.

(***)R.A.S. is the medical abbreviation for Rough Anal Sex

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