User:Uncyclopedian/Under Construction/UnScripts:The Wilde Files

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UnScripts:The Wilde Files is part of

The UnScripts Project

Your personal Shakspearian folio of humor, love, woe and other silly emotions


There are some supernatural things you can't face, for everything else, there's Mastercard the Wilde Files, starring Oscar Wilde as himself. This is the script of the 22nd episode of this long-running TV series.

22nd episode: Cast of Characters[edit | edit source]

22nd episode: Script[edit | edit source]

Oscar Wilde: There are great things about being obsessed about by most Uncyclopedians, but I still must give something back to Uncyclopedia. So I protect them from supernatural dangers. My name is Oscar Wilde, and these are the Wilde Files.

<An Uncyclopedian runs up to Oscar>

Uncyclopedian: Help! Help! Danny Phantom is trying to kill me!

Oscar Wilde: Have no fear, the Wildinator is here.

<Oscar Wilde zaps Danny Phantom with his Anti-Ghost Gun>

Oscar Wilde: Odd. Danny Phantom seemed dumber than usual, and liked shadows more than usual.

<Scene switch: Chuck Norris and a Wikipedian are fighting on a hill, Oscar wilde walks into the scene.>

Chuck Norris: Roundhouse kickssssss....for the Ur-Grue I shall bring prey.

Wikipedian: For Wikipedia...and the Ur-Grue.

<Oscar Wilde shoots the Wikipedian and uses an De-Possess ray on Chuck>

Oscar Wilde: This confirms my suspicions... I must battle the Ur-Grue!

<Oscar Wilde goes through Zork to get to the Ur-Grue>

<Climatic battle ensues, and Oscar Wilde shoots Ur-Grue with an Extreme Sarcasm and Light ray>

Oscar Wilde: And that is another job well done for me, Oscar Wilde!