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> get on a boat to Lakecastle
You call a cab down to one of the docks of Edinburgh. Soon, you are dropped off at your destination, and you pay the cabbie exorbitantly just because you can. You see that there are three (because three is the magic number) boats going to Lakecastle: a dingy, rusty tugboat, a small sailboat, and the RMS Queen Elizabeth II.
> Isn't the Queen Elizabeth II a floating hotel in Dubai now?
Stop questioning my logic. Anyway, which one do you choose?
> the sailboat
Alrighty. You bribe the captain with 5,000 pounds to let you on, and soon you're out at sea, headed for Lakecastle. A few hours later, it is dark out (but don't worry, grues can't hide in small, crowded sailboats while there's a full moon out). Everyone is singing old sea shanties, when another boat approaches your sailboat. You are the only one to see it because you were outside gazing at the Scottish night sky, displaying your loathing for children's sea songs.
> examine boat
Your sailboat is-
> I meant the OTHER boat.
Oh. The OTHER boat looks like a pirate ship you only see in stories or books. Not the modern, machine-gun toting, speedboat-using Somalian kind, these guys are boasting six cannons (three on each side), three tall sails, and an ugly motherfucker of a captain.
> alert captain and crew of MY boat
The captain clambers onto the deck with you. "Aw, shit! It's the Grue Pirates!" the captain says.
> Grue pirates? No problem!
Well, they would have been no problem, if they haven't already boarded your tiny sailboat and ate everyone.
> That was quick.
- *** Y0u, 7h3 m16h7y 6ru35|4y3r, h4v3 d13d ***
W0u|d y0u |1k3 70 r3574r7, r3570r3 4 54v3d 64m3, 0r qu17 7h15 535510n 0f 6ru35|4y3r? (7yp3 R3574R7, R3570R3, 0r QU17):
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