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> 007
You go on the mission, team up with Felix, steal a fast car, steal a plane, kill over 10,000 innocent bystanders, and have hot, steamy, sex. You then infiltrate the top-secret Noranian military base to uncover the rogue Soviet installation that will spell doom for all of humanity if you and your super hot, sexy, sidekick don't kick the butts of the mercenaries guarding it and kill the scarred, one-eyed sea captain.
> Shoot the Captain
Unfortunately, you cannot shoot first. The villain always shoots first. It's a hallowed tradition.
> Evade bullets
The bullets hit your sexy sidekick instead. Yeah, real Daniel Craig you are.
> Use super-ninja move and pwn villain to initiate epic ending credits
Unfortunately, your pwn score is not high enough. You fail. And by the way, only Daniel Craig can dodge bullets twice. You can only dodge them once. When Largo fires again, you get shot.
> O n0es
Don't worry. You're not dead. Anyway, a paradox certainly occurs. Because you are not Daniel Craig, Pierce Brosnan, Sean Connery, or any of those other cool guys who can fire guns and use their evade moves, the time-space continual is unraveled and the universe explodes!
BOOM!
In other words, because you suck as 007, and technically according to the natural laws of the universe James Bond can never suck, you've just caused everything to get blown up. Anyway, now you're dead.
- *** All hope is lost, for the mighty Grueslayer is dead ***
Shall I ride out to the depths of the dark forest to find ye spirit, attempt to summon ye from one of our many sacred sites, or surrender our land to the Grues? (type RESTART, RESTORE, or QUIT):
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