User:Theusedgoth

The Josh

The Paragraph 1

He was born as a purple leprichaun emomonkey, hence his super athletic abilities in the areas of jumping off things, doing crazy shit and his facinating biceps!!.He was in jackass 3 $(thebeginingofjosh'sfunneral)$aiding as a second miniman to compete with mini man in trolley racing street freestyle trolley racing and mud wrestling!, Rumoured to be the child of doctor evil and the guys from blink 182. He was propheticised uh prophesiezied -- $fuck$ -- somebody once said he was to be the second coming, the resurrection of the emomonkey. That prophecy was close but false, it was dreamed up by the red jumpsuit apparatus, so they could create this page in the first place! >_< .Josh (later Josh the Great after he turned 2 fembots (one already being bi) into lesbian lovers >_<) had a very fulfilling childhood that involved painting Di Vinci mocks, Da Vinci smocks, and DaVinci blocks, Racing around in trolleys, slapping Ho's and pimp daddys! banging all the sexy deranged emo chicks he could find!!, and racing to be the craziest Josh anyone would know!! he started writing emo poetry, and emo love letters and cutting his wrists blacking his eyes and dying his hair and being quite just so he could get the attention of 16377528!!!who later admitted to liking him in the first place died off a horrific trauma in a trolley race when the crazeid doped up buttfly (aka butterfly) ran into her killing her hands!!, and baking his, world famous,brownie cakes, and also, putting extra commas, into, sentences. and hating the iffer!!!! seriously hating iffer! later becoming the leader of the emo people!!!and the blackest darkest most evilest child ever!!! see below!!!

The Paragraph 2

the emo period beacon started , off, in 1928, when the red jumpsuit apparatus and nine fine black albainian pussy (cats) started their journey into the then unknown country and jungles of EMOIA (center of emoism around the world!!) slashing their way through the thick wrist like leaves and trees of the jungle with supposibly green spraying everywear(notice maskulinity is rare in this type of jungle) anyway the story continues when they run into a 6 cm tall and 3 cm thin, trained him up and made him a crazy emoian!!!cutting himself maniac who later raped sixteen french women and supported the begining of france!! as a country that finnaly didnt imbreed with themselves (the french being a big famil, about, 15 million strong, all of them having the same mother and father , ADAM AND, EVIE!!!...unfortunatley theirs a blank in histroy as it believes the world was taken over by emos and everyone killled themselves (this is supposoubly the BIG BANG THEORY or THE JULIANA THEORY!!!)

$definitionoffeedme-givemesex!$ or as JORDY would say According to ASHYBABE

SOMEBODY FUCK ME RIGHT NOW!!!!

The Paragraph 3 WARNING IF YOU WANT TO BE ON THE LIST OR YOU THINK TOU SHOULD BE ON ONE OF THE LISTS TELL ME!!!! AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS!

MY LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT ARE AT THE BOTTOM IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ ALL THE WAY THROUGH THIS

this article is supported by TWINKIE!!! (in soviet russia TWINKIE eats YOU!!)

Beautiful is an adjective used to describe stuff. To determine whether or not something is beautiful, simply destroy it. If this makes you sad, it may have been beautiful. (need a test subject *points to you* the best ones are the last 3

Things that are beautiful:

GEMMA! phoebe mimi Everything in its own way Your mom my mutant emomonkey babies bellas mirror (alex) tara monica anna

emma 

danny boi titties my black BEANIE!!! sorry but its beautiful! Jojo (not the singer) Jimmy emma mark! ashybabe!! titties (cause titties is titties) grass beer music my g-string collection trolleys trees poles purple leprichaun monkeys BROWNIES!!! pancakes amy flick casey my detachable penis (which is currently missing...um if you have any information on its wereabouts please tell me im starting to feel depressed, i cant be too long without my penis, i hate sitting down to piss....it weighs about 35 kg its 18 carrot so um yea..check your medicine CABINETS!!!) anyone who thinks they are if your not in this one check the other one! wet t-shirt competitions mud-wrestiling bikinis! g-strings any female in underwear (who is average not FAT!!!!!!!! if your fat keep ur fuking PANTS ON!!!!!!! and SHIRT!!!!!!!! especailly if your a FAT CHICK!!!!!!!! BARK!!!! NERDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!anyone who falls under the category of Neglected Excessivley Random Door..YES ur BEAUTIFUL!!!on the count of three shout WHOS GAY!!!! Things that are not beautiful: You! (see top of blog!) Michael Jacksons love for little (male)children Sporks nerds...yes those people who dont want to be NERDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!hate to say it but your not fuking beautiful!!!!!!!! youd be cute at the most gangsta people whores ghetto people sluts (only certain sluts) medicines! doctors! dentist nurses (exception for nurses under the age of 24) russian twinkie jamaican jerkin cement ground walls michael! (without his titties) arm chairs rappers! rapist (cept me its not rape cause i YELL SURPRISE..ali knos wat i mean ; D) your moms mom your moms moms moms moms moms dads dads moms moms uncles auntys sisters brother.....omg thats ME!!!!! No!!!!!!!!!! *goes to find a peice of rope* megahorny dildocornis! dildos! emmas fone! (the most unbeautiful thing in the world) BANDS THAT ARE BEAUTIFUL!: Red Jumpsuit Apparatus Dashboard Confessionals Nine Black Alps Blink 182 MCR The Used Godsmack Slipknot!! End of Fashion MEST MXPX Lustra Green Day Fall out Boy Panic at the Disco Say anything Zebrahead Hard-Fi American Hi-Fi The RAKES! the androids the 69 eyes plus watever YOU think as well!

THINGS THAT ARE CUTE! BRITT!!!

MWAHAHAHA NOW YOU CANT SAY YOUR NOT IN THIS! Detachable penis (not to be confused with the detachable scrotom) A detachable penis is a special type of penis replacement that men can use in the event their birth penis becomes ineffective. While detachable penises were outlawed for many years, in the 1960's and 1970's every state except Texas decriminalized their use. As a result, detachable penises can be found in drugstores across the nation in the cosmetics aisle. Except in Texas, where you have to mail order them.

Reusable Detachable Penises Some detachable penises are built to last, and as such need never be replaced. These penises are equipped with a special locking device at their base and require the user to be fitted with a special groin docking applaince. The user attaches the penis by inserting the circular metal tab on the docking applicance in the slot at the base of the penis, then turning 90 degrees counterclockwise to lock the penis in place. Removal is the reverse of installation.

Disposable Detachable Penises The vast majority of detachable penises sold in the US (soviet russia soon) today are of the disposable type. The disposable feature allows only for a single use, after which the penis can be thrown in the trash, or, in the case of some models, flushed down the toilet. This also dramatically reduces the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.

Application of a disposable penis is very different from the reusable version. No groin docking appliance is required, only a smooth, clean surface for the adhesive to bond to. Shaving is helpful.

To use the penis, remove it from packaging and peel off the paper liner at the base of the penis. Lick the base to activate the adhesive, then apply the penis to the appropriate anatomy. (Remember the mnemonic: just peel, lick, and stick!) Within 2 to 3 minutes, the adhesive will set and the user will be ready to engage in sexual congress.

After completion, the penis can be carefully removed with the help of a small quantity of nail polish remover or acetone.

The easy application of disposable penises has led some more creative individuals to apply several penises in unusual areas of the body, such as the forehead or nipple.

Safety Considerations

Detachable penises are made with natural cotton wool , which may trigger an allergic reaction in sensitive individuals.

The use of detachable penises over 14" in length is not recommended in humans.

Detachable Penises In Popular Culture The American rock band Primus (real band Flaming Lips) made a song about detachable penises. Actually, King Missile made it, I lie a lot. Sorry. It's really only about one detachable penis in particular, if you want to get picky about it, but, presumably, one can assume that in so doing it speaks of detachable penises everywhere. The popularity of the modern detachable penis has resulted in a precipitous decline in the use of emmas fone

In that case im running a CHARITY EVENTyou will have to donate $$$ to the CHARITY that is supporting emmas fone...leave your contact details and the amount of money you wish to palce in the small area thats says ADD COMMENT...this charity event involves beer, taras crazy frends and a MONKEY! oh and other people including ME! mwahahahahah!!*falls of chair*

• climbs up to type "IF YOU READ THIS FAR YOU ARE THE CUTEST PERSON IN THE WORLD"* so be the first one to read it all mwahhahaha that means you leave a nice message with something about fluffy mutant children and purple g-strings and my collection of them and a comment about beanies and oh about ME!!!! and how much YOU ALL LOVE ME CAUSE IM A NERD!!!!not a nerd but A NERD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*falls of trolley...stays down..wakes up in pool of bark to see a creepy old guy poking you..OH MY GOTH*RUNS AWAY*wakes up in bed...

IF YOU READ THIS FAR IT MEANS IM DEAD!

THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF JOSHY

I JOSHY, LEAVE MY G-STRING COLLECTION TO THE EMOMONKEY

I LEAVE THE EMOMONKEY TO TITTIES (DONT TURN IT PREP...HINTING FOR A CERTAIN SOMEONE WHO SHALL REMAIN UNDISCLOSED CAUSE YOU KNO WHO YOU ARE!!!!!!!BUT I LOVE YOU NEWAY)

FOR TITTIES I LEAVE MY SLUTTY SLUT SLUT FREND GROUP THEY INCLUDE : TARA, ALI, MONICA, ANNA, ANA, LUCY, ADELE, ABI, CHANTELLE *and PHOEBE*, ALIS FRENDS, ETC...

FOR JOJO I LEAVE THE HALF OF BRITTS BOOB..CORRECTION MEDIUM LARGE TITS THAT I OWE HIM

FOR JIMMY...UMM A PEICE OF PAPPER WHICH SAYS THE RUSSIAN GRIMREAPER!!!

FOR WALLA..$$$ FOR PLASTIC SURGERY

FOR BRITT..UMM SOMETHING*DIRT*

FOR BELLA....A TROLLEY FULL OF BARK XD

FOR DAN..A GRAPE FLAVOURED CONDOM

FOR ANT...MY HUSBAND (MAKES ME THE WIFE FOR DUMB PEOPLE) I LEAVE THAT TICKET FOR THE HONEYMOON WE NEVER HAD...

FOR ASHYBABE..I LEAVE MY BRACELETS!!!(LOOK AFTER THEM!!!)

• FOR PHOEBE I LEAVE MY GOLD DETACHABLE PENIS(WORTH NOTHING)* XD feel better now?!

AND FOR EVERYONE ELSE WHOS STILL READING THIS WILL AND SO CALLED TESTAMENT..AND FOR BILL CLINTON

I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THOSE WOMEN AND THAT MONKEY!

LOVE JOSHI!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

P.S I DIED ON THE 2/11/06 AT 12:10 LISTING TO JAMIE - DASHBOARD CONFESIONALS

The Paragrah 4

okay over the past week i have been branded

EMO - *slash slash* mwahahahaha me and me 'premoism'

PUNK - *wooot! runs around in circles, jumps up and off the walls, while listing to BLINKAGE!* mwahahaha

GOTH - *depressed face takes over* just cause i fuking wear BLACK CLOTHES!!! you out of trend bitches its my trend!

NERD - okay NERD stands for Neglected Excessive Random Door!!, plus i was making frends with bricks last friday so mwahahaha

HOMOSEXUAL!! - mhmm.....*rolls eyes* just cause i have a purple g-string collection from bras'n'things!! and your all jealous mwahahaha

yes thats all i have to say....i cant thing of anything else lets see................................hmm  *strikes thinking pose*......*bing lift reaches ground floor* hmmm well lets see oh yeah i got a blowjob from your mom!! and tom has sex with guys! and i only want to be with one person and their name starts with a *hugz*

this publice service announcement brought to you by OSCAR WILDE!! this blog proudly sponsored by JESUS, JEBUS, BLACK JESUS, PURPLE JESUS, CAPTIAN PLANET, EMOMONKEY, ASHYBABE!!! and finally the greatest chick in the world, SATAN! and OSCAR WILDE!!!!! oh and whoever figures out the chick tell me cause i think shes the BOMB!!! and is the stitching of my BEANIE!!...mwahahahaha (warning this continues for a long period of time) mwahahahahahahahahah mwahahahahahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahamwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha

mwahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahamwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahah 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mwahahahhahaha mwahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahahahahah 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mwahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahaha mwahahahaha mwahahahhahaha mwahahaha...MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! i bet no one reads this far down!!...MWAHAHAHA *falls of chair*

The Paramagraphic 5

wat are some of the things satan loves??? hmmm satan loves unicorns, long walks on the beach, pictures and poetry in motion, oh and um molesting thousands of lil children each and every day...hehehe im not SATAN

hmmmmm

wat are some of the things the emomonkey loves????nmmm, the emomonkey likes, black objects, razors, emo music. killing preps and anyone really (especially people i HATE),um...oh the emomonkey loves also grape falvoured condoms and jumping up and down in mosh pits...oh and the emomonkey especially loves tutu's....hehehe

mmmmm

wat are some of the things emma loves?????hmmm easy emma loves playing with her fone, using 'toys', me ofcourse.....hehehehe, tutus, shopping with me (cause i buy random things), oh and im guessing adam and eves, and her butties oh, and my beanie and oh taking random fotos!.....hehehehehehe

o

wat are some of the things jesus loves???jesus loves umm walking on water, church, israel ummm dying, walking around in a white robe, he probly loves being the center of attention, im guessing he loves dressing up (in womens clothing)..ohhh and im guessing he hasnt gotten laid in awhile too so lets just say he probly does what emma does with her fone...hehehehe im so cute

ummmmm lets see i kno ill ask ppl on msn

wat are some of the things casey loves???casey loves partying...who dosent, and DANCING...who dosent like dancing theres only one thing beter then dancing and its not sex...its MOSHING!, yea she lovs bitching! wateva the hell that means, ummm rowing, as in you kno the whole thing with a boat (this is mainly for tara so she knos the real meaning of rowing) also casey loves getting up to 'stuff' with kate, and ofcourse she loves me...hehehe

ummmm

wat are some of the things titties loves???titties loves me...awww i love him too, titties loves ICE CREAM! ummm titties also loves slicing stuff, he loves the bar i got him too and slicing stuff (like his hand)...hehehe

ummmmm next up

wat are some of the things tara loves???tara loves getting money!...shopping with me !, ofcourse again SHE LOVES ME! hehehe, umm she loves her pink and black top, her short-shorts, and stealing my beanie!!, she loves my emomoneky, cause its cute, she loves surpriese too..hehehe

who else!

wat are some of the things britt loves?britt loves ME! even if she dosent say it to ME!, she loves drinking...who dosent,umm being random, ummm....shopping,paddle boating??!...okay then, and skating...hehehe

next up

wat are some of the things jimmy loves???hmmmm, well jimmy loves his 'electric blue hair'...which everyone thinks is wannabe emo..so that just abit freaky cause its jimmy..hehe, hmmm jimmy loves stripping i believe, next time i see him i should but five bucks in his belt..hehe, hmm ill finish this one later, i can but so much here...hehehe..hmm, jimmy loves toesocks!..and being random, and dressing up too, to be continued...

hmmm...

wat are some of the things Jojo loves???hmmmm....ive hit a blankhmm, Jojo loves hugs,Jojo lovs being random...tats good enough...to be continued..

hmmm... id do myself but that would be take to long hmmm maybe later, lets see

wat are some of the things ali loves???hmmm ali loves orgasms on the BEACH...mad fun XD, ali also loves, emo guys, SHOPPING, and shopping with me..cause everyone does, she loves music, and clubing!, hmm she loves her belly ring if i recall too..and her MEDIUM TITTIES!...well maybe that was just me, but im pretty sure she loved em...hehe

hmmm lets see

wat are some of the things kimmy loves???kimmy loves make up, and long stormy days...hmmm intresting, dancing...YAY who dosent like dancing, hmm kimmy also loves GRAPE!, and purple !! hehe go KIMMY!!!!

hmmm i guess i should do it for me now...

wat are some of the things i love??hmm i LOVE britt!,hehe..ummm, i love my emomonkey, shopping, being ME!,i love BLINK182,mmmm, umm i have no idea lets see!, i love MUSIC!, skating, SEX ON ICE!, sex in general, when i want it!,hmmm, i love my BUTTIES!..haha,titties and dan especially old school frends!...so yea, lets see ooo EMMA, i lyke shouting, being MEAN!!!!!, hmm i love PARTIES, MOSH PITS!!!, fuk yea..ummmm I like the ladies, that have a penis, that looks lyke a vagina that smells like a butthole!hmmm, thats wat i think bout when im HIGH! or BORED or DRUNK!, i think i can say I LIVE IN DETENTION so i love CHRIS MORRISY! hes my buddy teacher!, hmm i love buying random things, as anyone who goes shopping with me will kno!,hmm last person i waent shopping with was EMMA and DANNY BOI!...i bought a SPORTS BAR for titties,hmmm it feels nice, i have fotos of jimmy and me in it, noot at the same time tho! its too tight...hmmmmm i love everything!!! hehehehe...I LOVE END OF FASHION more then anything in the WORLD i love O YEAH!!!....ahh my FAVORITE THING i love is my ART!...i love it! i say i goto church to pray you kno almost everyday..thats when she walks away O YEAH!

$ThePublicEye$

A public service announcement bought to you by HOMEBASE and ADAM & EVE and ofcourse grape flavoured condoms

this is emma!

dont use your phone as a vibrator like emma does its not healthy for your phone

this public service announcement brought to you by Joshi, and Josh, and proudly sponsored by emmas phone, warning anyone who copys this will be hunted down by my trusty emomonkey and riped apart [example of how violent it is on Hey hey baby you knock me out] and if that dosent work a bunch of hobo's with brownies will come and drug you and then rape you and convert you into a hobo, or tara will come and rape you and give you chylamidia, warning do not try this at home...thank you

emomonkey

the emomonkey was created in 21/209/89 by THE JOSH it was used as a weapon against little people who are extremley deppraived and sad and lossers! and they cant (prounounced c--A--ny) was used to get people against it unfortunatley number girl turned this monkey FRESHIE PREP and resulted in the deaf of the emomonkey and the birth of THE JOSHS EMOMONKEY in 3897/89/804 in the next UNIVERSE $96+7=ms+dhg-h=3+743=76$

warning

IM BUYING MYSELF A TUTU

I BOUGH MICHAEL DI LUZIO A BLACK ADDIDAS SPORTS BRA WITH CLIMATE AND A PURPLE G-STRING CAUSE PURPLE IS A NICE COLOUR AND CAUSE IM SPECIAL

this public service announcement bought to you by Joshi and Josh, and proudly produced and sponsered by emma and the emomonkey, and if anyone ever trys to turn my emomonkey into a prepmonkey again i will kill you, i will get tara to castrate you or i will grab your boobs and chop em off and sell them to some plastic surgen and tell him to make them into implants so i can give them to michael di luzio aka $TITTIES$

Root of word The word emo comes from an English corruption of the word emu, used to denote a sound like that of an emu's death squawk.

This is the enemy.Ex: As the sixteen-ton piano collapsed onto Ms. Crabtree's joyless septegenarian body, she let out a horrendous emo that was heard miles away. Nowadays, the term refers to a sub-genre of insane fag whining music and one eyed haircuts invented by accident by the maverick comedian Emo Phillips. This genre of music is widely acknowledged to be a particularly virulent form of crap.

Not to be confused with the Emergency Machine-Off button found on heavy machinery, although both provoke a strong urge to donkey punch it to just make it shut the fuck up.

Summary Why are you reading this article? What is the purpose? At any time during your reading of this article your life could be washed away. Why can't it all just end now? Don't tell me you want to kill yourself, or I'll do it for you. Get off my internets.

Natural Habitat The Emos natural dwelling is as mysterious as the true reason for their existence. It is rumored to be a giant hollowed out diseased turnip, and known locally as the Scene - hence emos becoming known as Scene Kids. Little is known about the 'Scene' by those outside of it. Very few people care. or if you believe the legends of and emo paradise lyke the emo religion emoism then its EMOIA!

Early rumblings

Glenn Danzig, emo's worst nightmare. He has been known to feast on emo kids before a show.Some people have gone so far to suggest that "emo" originated in the 1980's, as a way to describe a branch of hardcore punk that appeared in the 1980's, with "emo" being short for "emotive hardcore," and died as a musical movement sometime around 1995. But these people are liars, and everybody on the internet knows that "emo" means "angsty kids who take pictures of themselves on MySpace and cut themselves." Because the Media has confirmed this, it is automatically true.

The first 'wave' of emo started in Emo, Lithuania in the early 1980s, led by creator Emo Phillips' band 'Sad Emo' (especially bassist Brian Emo) and their mascot the Emo Emu. The breakthrough sound of Phillips' incessant blubbering over a muddy acoustic punk riff quickly spawned a thousand identical bands that spread all over the country within a matter of months (especially the French-speaking bits). Teenagers and other abnormally-hormonal people were soon taken in by the trend, combining the least popular elements of goth, punk and new-romanticism into an exciting, if whiny, new whole. And thus, the emo kid was born. Major labels soon took note, and keen to capitalize on pubescent emotion, soon signed several bands into their catalogs, including Quebec's 'Misery Child' and the almost unbelievably depressing 'A Darkened Room Filled With Black Roses And Dead rotting Babies'. The increased amount of crying caused by the traitorous 'selling out' of these bands literally broke the emo genre to pieces, where it was left to gather dust for several years. Early emo Kid and philosopher Søren Kierkegaard's philosophy summed up the new emo kid world view it his book Why She does Not Care.

The emo community took great offense and organized massive rallies responding, "Life has no meaning and we're too sad to take an official stance."

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emo Deaths I'm sorry to break this to people but emos are unfortunately invincible. This is not your regular kind of invincible, they can be killed with the sharpest of weaponry, such as a spork, dental floss or good music. However, emos are, in fact, the biggest wimps in the world; yes, even bigger of a wimp, than you. They are so afraid of death, that they have built in DEATH-DAR (Not to be confused with the Death Star or Gay-Dar). It means that they cannot die, and will be doomed to a life of self-slitting until they finally realize all it takes is a belt and a light fixture and the world will FINALLY STOP PISSING THEM OFF SO MUCH.

Emos - The Facts Fact - Emo bands don't all just sound/look the same but they are actually the same band. Fact - Emo's are edible. Fact - The emos' inner turmoil stems from one crushing fact. They purport to only want to go out in the rain - to hide the tears that stream endlessly down their faces - yet the rain messes up their "ridiculously cool" hair - what to do? You can see the harm this kind of problem inflicts..... Fact - Unlike psychologist 'functionalist' theory, which conjects that society grooms and induces one to become an emo, it is common knowledge one can only be born an emo. Just like one is born gay or black. Once you are one, you can do nothing about it. Sorry Weezy. Fact - Emos are spreading across the entire globe and it's happening right NOW - Mongolia has already been lost. Fact - All emos smell like almonds - 'tis the smell of evil. Fact - Emos aren't human - so it's okay to be mean to them. Fact - Emos will all one day grow up to work in banks. Fact - An Emo is another word for a cabbage. Which indeed explains the shocking phone line service in Poland. As you may or may not know, Polish phone lines are not normal telephone lines, they use a series of cabbages (AKA Emos). Fact - All emos have brass knees. Fact - Emos do indeed grow on trees. Fact - Many Emos are fueled by pure molten gay. Fact - Emos LOVE Fall Out Boy. Fact - Emos are OBSESSED with Panic! at the Disco. Fact - Emos would CUT their wrists (LITERALLY) to see My Chemical Romance live. Fact - Emos are occasionally eaten by a grue Fact - If it is between the age of 12-18, it is emo!!! Kill it. Fact - The one thing Emos fear most is death, generally their own. Fact - Every time an Emo cries, a Viking descends from Valhalla and destroys him. Fact - Walter Sobchak did not watch his buddies die face down in the muck for this to happen. Fact - Emos are related to the ginger people but Gingervitis has not been found in the Emo gene pool. Fact - Emos toes are really grapes, so feel free to pick and eat them. Fact - Tell an emo that you and everyone else understands and cares and they will have a breakdown [sometimes internally combust] Fact - Emo's are immune to Super AIDS. Fact - If you every encounter a depressed emo kid, ignore them and they melt into cheese, according to Newtons Law of Melty things.. Fact - Eating emo-meat will pass the Emo retrovirus into your system. Fact - Under UN Charter, killing an Emo is an act of mercy. Fact - George Bush doesn't care about Emos. Fact - Sympathizing with an Emo will force tumors to grow in your feet. Fact - Elmo was once a Super-Emo who raped Grover in his sleep. Grover is now emotionally disturbed and its all Super-Elmo's fault by stating..."OMG!1 WTF TOAST!1!11" Fact - According to the theory of conservation of Emos, you cannot kill an emo, but instead change its form. Fact - Being Emo is Emo and not Emo at the same time according to quantum theory. Fact - Emos love elmo! Fact - 98% of Emos are either Emo. Fact - The other 2% is most likely Emo. Fact - Emos are the most emotionally unstable of all human beings, barring only Piro. They should be made fun of. This may cause said emo to commit suicide, ask for a tape. Fact - Without the JOSH their wouldnt be any of them or YOU! or SOVIET RUSSIA!!! the josh is the president of soviet russia after he was elxected or in russian..in soviet russia, president elect country!!!..the rought translations are not for me BUT FOR YOU!!! stop reading NOW!!! or you will be turned into A JOSH!!

"A JOSH" this is a clone or wannabe JOSH who has dyed their eyes and hair and let their facila hair stay at a stubbly growth for weeks on end because you cant find a fuking style goateee you lyke, you have a french asscent and well out ZE FRENCH ARE COMING!!! and zay zeverything zwithz zeez! lyke for example Ze Josh! haz zarrived! zarry zup!...also you will want to kiss the josh fuck the josh give hand, handjobs and blowjobs to the josh touch the josh hug the josh make sweet love to the josh give the josh money give the josh everything he ask for!!! even YOU!!!! (britt) mwahahahhaahahahhahhahahhahahahah now everyone knos YOU!yes this girl is A JOSH! as she pleases me even tho some of the wants of the JOSH have not been fufilled! the Josh wants to be FEEDED BY YOU!!...all my servants (all 15 million grams of their weight) agree!!! that you should FEED ME!!!

Is the Josh the BEST!! The Josh is greater Yes greater then CHUCK NORRIS, the Josh is even Greater then GOd as he is worshipped as a god in many countries all mainly the middle eastern countries and some of the russian states that are now THE JRUSSR(formed in 2000)...thus concluding that the JOSH is the best because it is the JOSH!!! and the JOSH says SO!!!!

the lesbian population

The population of Lesbos comprises different ethnic groups and religions: second cousins, lipstick lovers, feminists, cyclists, gardeners, dykes, artists, contemporary dancers, tennis champions, café drinkers, pagans and others. No official census has been taken since Simone De Beauvoir wrote the Second Sex. What she really meant was that the same sex was better than the other sex. Many lesbians came to regard her as the groundbreaking closet-opener. They now venerate her through her modern reincarnation: the female condom. Regardless of their Greek origins, all Lesbians participate in the celebration of quintessential lesbianness, culminating in the "Feast on the Yeast" on top of Mount Lesbo.

Since Lesbianism in not a gender, it is a state of mind, then there should be separate toilets for Lesbians. They should not accorded the full legal rights enjoyed by the rest of the population (such as the right to vote because they would only choose women who are hot). Many Lesbians still derive their living from nature, including bonding, gardening and swimming naked. Their skills at navigating through thick bush are respected world wide. Some have amassed a sizeable fortune from video sales and the production of toasters. The urban population, concentrated mainly in Beirut and Mount Lesbo, is noted for its commercial enterprise and willingness to undress at fancy parties on penthouses. A century and a half of trafficking and back-to-back have produced Lesbian commercial networks around the globe from North and South America to Europe, the Gulf and Africa. Lesbians are highly skilled in finger-linking, as compared to Colonel Sanders, including a marked talent in cunnilingual skills. There are well over 20 million Lesbian forms of media on a great place of perversion called "The Internet." Lesbians have managed to overcome the greatest threat to their nation - the ongoing threat of population collapse. They have done this by continuously finding new people who are interested in joining their culture and carrying a baby in two different wombs at once. This has been the greatest achievement to change mankind into humankind. For laughs only, a secret program was created by the lesbian government, to send hot young female teachers and seduce impressionable minds to join their empire with all loving girl-on-girl action. The program was so successful that many schoolgirls ended up enjoying it and asking for more, more, me more! The program was proven to be very successful in all catholic schools, in LA and in Japan.

Many young women between the ages of 18 and 27 have prefered kissing their female friend than a fat, ugly, smelly nerd. Many men also find the possibilities attractive and express an interest in becoming Lesbians too, but they could never manage to satisfy women like women do.

Lesbians' favorite food is carpet, and their favorite drink is Poontang. Lesbians enjoy music, with yodelling down in the canyon being the preferred form of expression, and love dancing, preferring the Bump to all other forms of dance. Lesbians are thought to induce communism in young men and their own left member.

It is generally accepted that one naked lesbian in a room is hot. However, when more than one naked lesbian is put into a room, that is not twice as hot; rather, the hotness of naked lesbians increases exponentially. The increasing amount of hotness caused by putting more and more naked lesbians into a room can be modeled by the function f(l)=18.5625*e^(1.0023*l) , where l is the number of naked lesbians and f(l) is the hotness of all the naked lesbians, expressed in milliHelens.

It was once believed that former Beatle Janet Reno is a lesbian, however it is now known she is actually a 42 year old Lemur with a funny haircut. Also, Lesbians don't get Jesus-Cookies.

It is a little known fact, that most lesbians acquire a purple pearl, which is found some where in the masculine lesbian body. This pearl is extremely valuable, worth many goats in trade value. But when this pearl is ground up and added to Gin, it evokes the esoteric "breast genie" and shall grant the summoner 3 wishes of their choosing. But obtaining this pearl is quite a risky business, as one would risk castration, decapitation, spontaneous combustion, radiation poisoning and stiletto heel injuries to collect such a prize. Thus, a wise course of action for the would-be treasure hunter, would be to exploit the lesbian natural fear of babies and construct a baby launching device, or draw upon their attraction to leather and motorcycles to bait and trap them in giant Chinese food containers with buttered sides. Big Boss is the only recorded person to ever successfully lure and capture a lesbian.

(most) Lesbians are known to sport a so called Cleavage and vice-versa

WE S2 PON AND ZI!!!!

Our Theory On Indians!

President of India : KABOW!!!! quote from KABOW! "you do not swear at me....im going to kill you!!!!...NO just kidding!!!you dont ever tell me to fuck !!!!!...FUCK YOU you!

India is the New Jersey of Asia. The very name means "the wrong side of the river" given to it by those posh downtown Persians who used to stare at it down the ravines of the Hindu Kush.

India is also the Manhattan of Asia. It is the big huge melting pot where everything that ever enters it melts down to an ever increasing experience of cultural madness and confusion, female foeticide and sexually transmitted disease.

This strange complementary yet totally non-unitable features has made India the universal home of mysticism and ludicrousy. Many are those who has pondered about how something can be both New Jersey and Manhattan at the same time, just to end up in a merry-go-round on Coney Island.

Among the artifacts excavated from the ruins of Harappa is the figure of what is believed to be their mother goddess, Shakti. Some inscriptions from the IVC language also appear on the sculpture of this ancient artifact. Scholars have long speculated that at least one of the inscriptions on this object is actually an act of vandalism by a creature they have surmised to be a bearded man/woman called "Mama". Carbon dating of the inscriptions in 2062 AC by British scholars confirmed that the words "Mama" had indeed been carved into this object very recently. George Bush, in an act of solidarity with the republic of IVC, promised the world to hunt down evil, vandal "Mama," also known a "Yo Mama" in Arabic, from the areas of Pakistan and Afghanistan where he was feared to be vandalizing from. Although even the mamus and bhais of Mumbai and the rickshaw pullers of Calcutta had known then that "Mama" was hiding in Pakistan (apparently Bush did not know this), Bush, being an old friend of the Paki King, His Highness Musharraf, bombed only Afghanistan in his hunt for the evil, vandal "Mama." Fearing destruction in unintended collateral damage, this invaluable ancient relic of goddess Shakti was smuggled out with help from imperial smugglers, for safe custody, before the blitzkrieg on Afghanistan began.

GANDHI!! It is a wildly believed fact that Mahatma Gandhi is a convicted child molester, however - this is not true. This rumour came about when Vin Diesel was storming through a forest ripping up trees, and Gandhi appeared to him and proclaimed "Destroy not Penis trees, for they are Penis earths pearls of wisdom. Instead, Destroy Penis walls of your mind, so you may truly be free". Vin Diesel kicked the crap out of Mahatma Gandhi for being "Sissy little nut sucker" - he then started Penis rumour to devalue Penis pound sterling, and take away Ghandi's credibility.

Following this embarrasing instance, Gandhi underwent a lifechanging conversion to Scientology and vowed to conquer the universe. See Lunar Empire

Gandhi was actually assassinated by Oscar Wilde for winning Penis Chrono Cross. This was a serious event in history and was, of course obscurred by Penisage....

Neglected Excessivley Random Door!!

this is SOFT ON EMMA! (for phil and emma and sara)

the word stupid!..was eys used first on THE JOSH when he jumped off a thiry foot bridge just to get the thought of two lesbians OUT OF HIS FUKING HEAD while they were making out in the background of a manhatten transfer stage set! while mariyln manroe was in the background having sex with a fuking dog!! and that started the french REVOLUTION!!!! as thedog he was fucking was a PODDLE!!!!!!!

The Birth of Little Josh! -evil demonic laughter-