User:ThecoolxavierguyfromghIII/Fox News

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"Fair and Balanced"

"Real Journalism"

Fox News Channel is an active cult-or sorry, active news organization with the goal of providing a story with two sides, showing that Obama may be entirely wrong and an agent for a cult following of Stalin by passing the healthcare bill, or a pedophile. Both are very logical. Fox News knows that you want both sides of the story. That is why Fox is the leading news channel in America, with captivating headlines such as "Global Warming-A Lie?" and "Applesauce found deadly-and how Obama did it." Owned by Newscorp, with an owner (Rupert Murdoch) who, amidst the liberal blame-game, has remained free of charge-oh wait. HE did that thing? No, not-wait, what? You're saying... oh. But we can rearrange that right? I guess, so uhmm... Rupert Murdoch ... has ... been ... found ... innocent. Okay.

Fox Regulars

Bill O'Reilly- Host of "The O'Reilly Factor," Fox's tried and true personality who finds the real story behind every guest, with provocative questions such as "How has the mainstream liberal media ruined our nation?" You go on to his show, you have just entered the Lion's Den.

A typical unbiased Segment on The O'Reilly Factor.

Glenn Beck- Sad to see him gone

Shepard Smith-the guy who just ruins our reputation.

Sean Hannity- Fox's own centrist, author of books like "Deliver Us from Evil: Defeating Terrorism, Despotism, and Liberalism" and "Let Freedom Ring: Winning the War of Liberty over Liberalism." With a comb over like that, how could you not be right?

Criticism

Fox has taken a lot of heat for being too fair. I mean, just look at the videogame!

The Loading Screen says "You have died of dysentery".

Fox News Viewers don't always understand punctuation, so its correspondents are glad to help!

Achievements

Fox News has benefited America in so many ways World Records:

• Most people on air simultaneously with a wicked combover
• Largest age difference between a married couple (It's not adultery if it was the other ones fault, twice)
• Most grammatical errors
• Most segments that had to be edited off for later broadcasting
• Most compliments of Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman
• Only corporation to have "Going Rogue" become mandatory reading.
• Only corporation to treat "Going Rogue" seriously