User:TheGothicBallerina/Zuko

Zuko is the current Fire Lord of America, Spain, and Italy, so he is obviously busy right now, so he asked me to type this incredibly pointless page about him. He said it had to be his autobiography, here goes...

Birth

Prince Zuko was born 17 years ago to Britney Spears and her current ex-husband, Adolf Hitler. They started a happy home in the Fire Nation royal palace. Hitler was Fire Lord then, so things were pretty bad, heck, they just got better. Anywho, Zuko, as a child, had no intention of sleeping, which meant no sex for Britney and Adolf.

Before Banishment

After the death of his mother, death of his grandfather, and birth of his sister, Adolfa, Zuko became an emo and turned to whining and cutting himself. He befriended his uncle, who would let him occasionally go to really boring war meetings which turned out to just be a gay sex-fest. After being raped by the same General for the 500th time, he said that he was going to become straight and join an emo band and preform at the Purple Bleeding Heart Emo Battle of the Bands Hitler said no, but he insisted that he go so that his band would have the possibility of winning the iPod, iCut. Which was loaded with many songs by Linkin Park, My Chemical Romance, and other bands. What he didn't know was that Adolf had followed him there, and was going to force him to fight an Agni Kai. (Muahahahahahahahahahahahahaha)...

Agni Kai

He had not known that his father was going to do more than beat him, he raped him, burned him and banished him. Making him look for the long lost Naked Boy, to regain his honor.

Year 1

It just so turned out that hidden cameras were following him around his whole life, he never had an privacy. He began chasing the Avatar with a full-staffed ship, and his uncle. Who was really no help at all, just annoying and tea-loving. They began their search in the ocean, as most ships do. Zuko tried to steer the ship so he could drive on land, but he scraped the entire bottom off the ship, killing the crew. Right after the crew was buried, he saw a light shooting out of the ground and into the sky. He rushed over to find that the Naked Boy had been discovered by a eskimo chick named Katara, and an eskimo dude named Sokka. After having sex with Katara multiple times, he gets the Naked Boy all to himself. But, the Naked Boy escapes, dstroying his ship in the process, and heads toward the Earth Kingdom.

Year 2

After arriving at the Earth Kingdom with his uncle, he cut off that gay-looking ponytail and became the Blue Spirit, an anti-hero that goes around town saving people in need and stealing toys from young children. Soon after, he ran into his sister, Adolfa, with whom he had an Agni Kai. It turned out that Adolfa had recruited her two best friends, Mai and Ty Lee, to come with her so her brother had an unfair advantage against her. Later, he arrived in Ba Sing Se with his Uncle and they began working in a tea shop in the lower ring. Little did they know that Uncle was actually good at making tea! Uncle and Zuko eventually left the shop to open their own, which, even though Zuko didn't want to, the named it the Green Serpent. Adolpha, disguised as a Kyoshi Whore, found Zuko and dumped him in a cave with Katara, who wanted to do him, but he insisted that his heart belonged to Mai. The Naked Boy also found himself in a cave, that cave was the one that Zuko was in, also. Zuko and Adolpha had ANOTHER Agni Kai over the Naked Boy, and Adolpha won. She gave the credit to Zuko, allowing him to go home and allowing his daddy to love him.

Year 3

Zuko returned home with Mai as his girlfriend, Mai really wanted to do him, too. But he said no because he had made Katara pregnant with her first, second, and third children. While in the Fire Nation, all Zuko wanted to do was go home to the Earth Nation and see his Uncle again, so, during the Day of No Sun, he left Mai a note saying that he was going to join the Naked Boy and the rest of his group.