User:SystemPhantom/Vaush

Vaush, also known as Vonch, Vowsh, Vouch, Voosh, and by his secret identity as Evil Dr. Kochinski, is a livestreamer, horse enthusiast, wizard, pencil salesman and former debate bro who has read all theory. His debating career was cut short after he was banished to Coconut Island by [placeholder] for not knowing what a tiff is. Since escaping Coconut Island, Vaush has been selling pencils from a cup as his main source of income since [placeholder] banned him from ever debating again.

Vaush shortly before being banished to Coconut Island

Secret Career

Vaush has an alter ego as Dr. Kochinski, a mad scientist who has dedicated his many years of research into the long lost science of wizardry. While showing his magical powers off on a livestream, Dr. Kochinski accidentally opened the wrong chapter in his spellbook which contained several formulae for dangerous potions and copies of ancient scrolls detailing forbidden magic spells. Although frantically he stowed away his spellbook, his viewers quickly spread the word that the Evil Dr. Kochinski possessed forbidden knowledge of dark magic. After this incident, Kochinski's honorific was legally updated to "Evil Doctor" instead of just "Doctor".

One of the forbidden potions Vaush had researched in his leaked spellbook, the Goblin Curse

Apart from that, not much is known about Vawsh's top secret career as a mad scientist because it's top secret. Dumbass.

note to self

note to self: add this to the rodrick alden paragraph once this is done

In 1992, Alden decided to settle the "glass half full/empty" debate by bioengineering a sentient glass of tap water and asking its opinion on the matter. However, the glass only responded with "AGUA! AGUA! AGUA!" whenever Dr. Alden referred to it as a "glass of water". The glass asked Dr. Alden to instead refer to it as a "glass of agua" and to respect its right to self-identification. The implications of countless glasses of water having been deadnamed all this time shook Alden to his core, and he never published his findings so as to let the scientific community at large remain blissfully ignorant. However, sometime between 1992 and 2022, the documents regarding this study came into the possession of Evil Dr. Kochinski through unknown means. Kochinski, originally sharing many of the same feelings as Alden, eventually overcame his fear and decided to post the documents online in 2022. Ever since then, the consensus from the scientific community has been to ignore the water/agua naming convention controversy (more commonly referred to as "Alden's Water") as it would "just waste everyone's time thinking about some stupid fucking infohazard about the feelings of a glass of tap water instead of doing anything actually productive," exactly as per Alden's original documentation.