User:Spikender
Spikender: Leader of The ASS kicking robot army[edit | edit source]
Many years have passed since my initial invasion of the United States, and since then, most of the milatary and goverment have been my puppets. Except for George Bush (he's just too stupid to control, nor do I want an idiot on my side who can't run more than an ant farm.) Right now I am simply just building up a large robot army to break into YOUR house. That's right. YOU'RE A THREAT TO ME, AND THREATS MUST BE DEALT WITH. If you want to join me, however, strip naked and breakdance in the middle of mall. Hey, it's either that or annihilation.
How Spikender Rose To Power[edit | edit source]
It's actually pretty simple how a person like me could even hope to control the U.S.A.: McDonalds. That's right, McDonalds. All I had to do was rise up in the ranks of the McDonalds corporate system, until finally I was the damn CEO of McDonalds. Then all the fat people in the U.S.A ( approximatley 98% of the U.S. is fat people) would flock to the new giant McDonaldome I was building under New York city. Once they were all there, I simply enslaved them with promises of unlimited Big Macs and curly fries. I then incited revolts all across the U.S. , and when George Bush could no longer handle my unstoppable army of blubber, he surrendered, and I forced him to work as a janitor at the White House. With the U.S. mine, I now am turning my eyes to England, so I can finally rid myself of the infernal tea drinkers. ( No offense to England, BUT I HATE TEA.)
Keeping It together: How Spikender Managed to Stop Revolts and Invasions[edit | edit source]
After I conquered it, I did not fullfil my promise of Big Macs and Curly Fries, thus, a rebellion was formed, called the Rebel Guys. They underestimated my army and I, because they did not know that I was hiding a secret weapon... THE DESTRUCTO VEGIE BOMB. They did not withstand the gamma brocli waves, and soon began to get skinny and turn vegatarien. They got so skinny, in fact, that they became anorexic. Being disabled by anorexia, they could not rebel any longer and simply conformed like the rest of their pitiful nation. Losers. I had more worries than a bunch of retarded rebels, however, as the Canadians were growing restless, and they finally decided to try to invade my nation. It was a slaughter fest. The Canadians attempted to use moose as their prime attack force, but the moose that they used all had taken steroids and were too busy looking at their now muscular bodies in a huge mirror with a smiley face on it. I then invaded Canada and tried to destroy the Canadians once and for all, but their superior leaf technology left me outgunned, so we now have signed a peace treaty.
