User:Spawn Man/"Step on a crack..."
"Step on a crack..." is the starting to one of the most common urban myths as of present.
History of the saying[edit | edit source]
The history of the "Step on a crack..." myth began in the early 1600's, during the witch paranoia era. In England, it was thought that witches put poisons and fungal diseases into cracks in pavements created by the devil's hooved feet. The original saying was "Step on a crack... never come back", creating a hysteria among small children which eventuated in roves of children actually obeying their mothers. The fungal diseases were said to create a temporary zombie-like state over the child in question & he or she would involuntarily be guided to the witch's house, where she would bake them in a pie & serve them to the child's parents. Historians now agree that an incident in 1612 sparked the legend when 89 year old Mrs. Harper accidentally left three chicken bones in her township famous chicken pie. The recipient, grieving the recent departure of her son to the snotty nose, mistook the bones for her sons. After being catapulted into a lake, tortured with boulders, lava & snakes, flogged, tickled, spat on, stretched laughed at & made to eat a worm, the 89 year old insisted she was innocent. The townspeople then decided to hang her to see if she would tell the truth afterwards, but unexpectantly, she died. Go figure. The ashamed townspeople realized their mistake, but by then, vicious rumours had reached other towns & thus a new saying was born.
As time progressed, parents realized that they already had numerous beliefs to keep their children in line, such as Santa Claus's coal, the Easter Bunny's "eggs" & the Tooth Fairy's teeth-for-money pawn shop, they decided to eliminate the gorey detail from the saying. As decided, the saying was shortened to "Step on a crack... & go quack", a much less scarey & less effective ending. Rebellious teenagers now make a joke of the saying, saying "Step on a crack... go to a quack".
Common endings[edit | edit source]
Other common endings for the common saying are:
- "Step on a crack... & die".
- "Step on a crack... & give $10 back".
- "Step on a crack... & kill a black".
- "Step on a crack... & hop in the sack".
- "Step on a crack... & never been seen again you silly boy. Muahahaa...."
"Step on a crack... & die"[edit | edit source]
This saying was brought about by propaganda from communist Russians trying to scare people into remaining ingnorant. In one barbarian village, all the population died from