User:Siobhanjmiles
David Mitchell[edit | edit source]
David mitchell is an English writer/comedian/llama born in the london area some time in recent years. He attended The Camebridge university for posh sounding, middle class budding thespians that have been bullied by overbearing parents into studying a "real" degree such as accounting. It was at this place of learning he met Robert Webb a lowly student with a thirst for fame and a rapidly receeding hairline. Webb was to become his partner in crime/comedy and the object of his evil desires.
During the duo's early years they wrote many a skit that never came to fruition but plaqued their nightmares as only failures do. After trying desperatly hard to find their funny bones (neither made the link to the elbow, which, has been medically proven to contain the magical powers every comic needs to gather laughs) Webb decided to grow some hair and free-ride on Mitchell's distinct snobbish voice. After Mitchell landed a part on the comedy rollercoaster that is peep show he begged the producers to give Webb a part and even though they were reluctant (due to the obvious thinning of his hair) they gave in when Mitchell gave them a llama each.
Duirng the rise of their careers, the obvoius sexual tension that existed between the pair hit its pinnacle and they spent a glorious night in Scotland giving in to their wicked desires, this was later to be reffered to as "The haggis encounter" and repressed deeply into their sub concious. Mitchell and his lowly partner continued along the fame trail and eventually was commisioned a show in which they could perform their unfunny skits to release them from their nightmares this was titled That mitchell and Webb look
Although life seemed peachy for the pair, David Mitchell was habouring an evil secret, he was jealous of the female attention that Webb was recieving and wanted Webb to love him, and him only. such thoughts resulted in the decline of Mitchells sanity and with one fell swoop he dismembered Webb with half a kite he had stolen from the local park. Realising this error could cost him his much awaited for comedy career he bought some Strawberry laces from the local supermarket and sowed Webbs head back on to his body. Mitchell still performs with the corpse across the UK