User:Simsilikesims/Articles that don't exist but should

Articles that don't exist but should

This is my short list. The long list, created by multiple people, can be found at Uncyclopedia:Requested articles or at Vital article list. Articles I have made are listed here.

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Ancient or Antique Technology

• Landline phone
• Rotary phone
• Card catalog
• Video Camera Recorder
• File cabinet
• Rolodex
• Day planner
• Tape drive
• cash register
• Word processor (redirect with possibilities) - maybe processes Word salad? - Currently added to Category:Redirects with possibilities

Business and Banking

• Pink slip - now a redirect to HowTo:Get Fired

• Inflation - restored and improved.
• Letter of Resignation
• Virtual currency
• Zelle
• Venmo
• Double authentication
• Triple authentication

Law and Politics

• Insurrection
• Cancel Culture - some things should have been cancelled, like COVID-19, the Black Plague, the Civil War...
• Electorate
• Gavel
• Investigation
• Subpoena
• Warrant
• Domestic terrorism
• District attorney
• Prosecution attorney
• Gag order - you are hereby ordered to wear a gag.

Food and Cooking

• Pumpkins
• Pumpkin Pie
• Green Bean Casserole
• Death by Chocolate
• Leftovers - Also known as seconds or Doggy bag.
• Crumbs - just the way the cookie crumbles.

Fashion

• Fashion masks
• Hankerchiefs
• Blindfold
• White Glove treatment
• Red Carpet

Gaming

• Game demo
• Free to play
• Microtransactions
• Mobile gaming
• Casual games
• DLC
• The Sims 2
• The Sims 3
• The Sims 4
• Farmville
• Simulation games
• Tabletop roleplaying games
• Uno (game)
• Board games

• Greed: The Game

Health

• Vaccine mandate
• Social distancing
• Quarantine
• Antivaxxer
• Surgical mask mandate
• Mask mandate - currently redirects to Mask, which redirects to Disguise.

Internet

• Worst 100 Huffed Lists
• Karen the Entitled
• Queen Karen
• King Darren
• Selfie

Hobbies

• The Experiment
• Cruise (or cruise liners, or cruise liners named after Tom Cruz.)

• Engraving
• Embroidery
• Macrame
• Day camp
• Sewing kit
• Woodworking
• Blacksmith

Music

• Experimental music - unDictionary? (music that cannot make up its genre or a child playing around with a new musical toy)
• Improvisational jazz

Television and TV tropes

• Cable television
• Wheel of Misfortune
• Family Feud
• Deux ex Machina - something happens that solves everything immediately, like waking up from a dream.

Other

• Mineral - we have animal and vegetable, why not mineral? (redirects to Rocks)
• English as a Second Language
• Army Recruiter - it's fun to receive a call from one and have it be a wrong number, especially if you are ineligible for the draft.
• Tent City - actually a homeless camp, but what if it was a Simcity game with tents or a poverty simulation game instead?
• Muggle - from the Harry Potter Universe.
• Dystopia - Zombies, nukes, anarchy, government malfunction, this covers it all!
• Arachnophobia - could refer to the HUGE spider in the barn as depicted in the movie.
• Picture frame - I've been framed! All I know is they painted my caricature...
• Camp Moron - a camp for less than intelligent people, or a TV reunion of everyone that House MD called a Moron.
• Nickel and dimed - normally meaning cheated in a financial death of a thousand papercuts, what if it meant something else referring to nickels and dimes?
• Death from 1000 papercuts - this isn't here either.
• Bedbug - Someone planted a spy device in your bed. Under your pillow or in your mattress?
• Chewbacca - This page is currently protected: Re-create in userspace only for a contest entry. By the way, from watching anime, I learned that the Japanese word for idiot is baka. Maybe something that chews up idiots or idiocy?

UnWhy

• Why?Is my mouse broken? - Probably either because it isn't connected to your computer or the battery in it died. Or because you dropped a sledgehammer or piano on it.
• Why?Is the sky blue? (Except at sunrise or sunset or during thunderstorms or during smog)
• Why?Is the sky yellow and cloudy? Say hello to Mr. Tornado.
• Why?Is my keyboard broken? (Possibilities of things you could do to break your keyboard, temporarily or permanently, accidentally or purposely.)
• Why?Become a vegan
• Why?Stalk a celebrity - Maybe your name is ALREADY Stan?
• Why?Yell obscenities at Strangers - update, someone actually put this in a movie scene.
• Why?Live under a rock - a common practice of cavemen/cavepeople, bears, hermits, people in bunkers/survival shelters, and hiding soldiers who don't know the war is over. Also not a bad idea for wanted criminals.
• Why?Hate everyone - ABCDEFU
• Why?Destroy all humans
• Why?Animals are smarter than humans
• Why?Replace everyone with machines
• Why?Work at minimum wage
• Why?Be rude to strangers online
• Why?Pay the rent?
• Why?Paint occult symbols on the walls and floors
• Why?Won't anybody play with me? At least 3 of the above would probably result in this.
• Why?Won't my cupholder work? - Because maybe it is a CD/DVD drive and NOT a cupholder? Or because something else is stuck in the cupholder at the minute. Or, you had soda in the car's cupholder and now the cupholder is stuck in the dash with dried sticky stuff.
• Why?Paint rocks - Pet rocks return. Or maybe it was a rock wall attacked by vandals.
• Why?Utopia doesn't exist - I have several ideas here. Even the utopia described in the Book Utopia features cruelty to disabled children.
• Why?Scale tall buildings
• Why?Get arrested - about the benefits and drawbacks of jail and house arrest.
• Why?Trespass on private property
• Why?Walk on an old guys lawn
• Why?Throw your television out the window
• Why?Throw out the baby with the bathwater
• Why?Count your chickens before they're hatched
• Why?Did the chicken cross the road

UnHowto

• HowTo:Burn down the kitchen while cooking spaghetti
• Howto:Get Stoned
• HowTo:Be Disowned by your Family
• HowTo:Lose a girlfriend in ten days
• HowTo:Drink and Drive (as opposed to Drunk and Drive). Apple juice anyone?
• HowTo:Get Yelled At
• HowTo:Hail a Taxi (middle finger anyone)?
• HowTo:Live in a car
• HowTo:Live in a tent - Step one, find a campground.
• HowTo:Raise kids
• HowTo:Go Broke - 1) Spend more money; 2) Earn less money.
• HowTo:Start your own business - spend lots of money on startup, have no cash reserves, poor first year sales, close business.
• HowTo:Manage your time effectively - hint - Not on Uncyclopedia?
• HowTo:Get Bored
• HowTo:Sing Karaoke La, la, la la la, La la la la la...I'm just a sucker with no self-esteem...
• HowTo:Play violin. Suzu-k-i Squeak squeak...suzuki squeak speak.
• HowTo:Cook salmon in the microwave
• HowTo:Raise the Dead - Because Necromancy is FUN! At least the raising part. Hope you can put your toys back after you are done with them. That's even more fun.
• HowTo:Go Bankrupt - Credit card Ponzi scheme. Nuff said.
• HowTo:Drive Like a Bat out of Hell - here he comes, here comes Speed Racer...
• HowTo:Create a Political Party out of Insects
• HowTo:Become a Cult Leader
• HowTo:Fix a Flat (flat tire? or flat house? And if your house is flat, you have a problem).
• HowTo:Tow a Tow Truck that was Towing a Tow Truck that was towing a truck. (Hint: with a crane?) Also, this was a real event that became a meme.

UnBooks

• UnBooks:Diary of an Asshole
• My day at the grocery store
• The Unfulfilled Romantic
• Mobile games I have played (as in used to, don't anymore)
• Scrapbook of a Janitor - complete with photos of odd stuff or the worst of what he cleaned up?
• PEBCAK - journal of a phone troubleshooter at an unnamed software tech company.
• The baby who evacuated a movie theater - with one fart!
• How I got arrested for the 13th time. (Thirteen pages of arrests for doing idiotic things guaranteed to get you caught, and a 14th page describing daily life in a jail cell).
• Various huffed Worst 100 lists or FFW articles turned into an UnBook. Maybe with pictures.

UnTunes

• Trapped in the Jail Cell - to the tune of "Trapped in the Closet".
• Padded Cell Blues - to the tune of "Summertime Blues".
• Sweet Home in a Junker - to the tune of Sweet Home Alabama.