User:Silent Penguin/welcome
Welcome[edit | edit source]
Hello, Silent Penguin/welcome, are you sitting uncomfortably? Be it on your office chair, sofa or bean bag, if that's how you choose to live your life. Good, then I shall begin. Once apon a time there was a new kid on the block who decided to join uncyclopedia. When they joined there was a Welcoming Committee, a group there to make them feel wanted, and the committee welcomed them to Uncyclopedia! Why would they want to be in that armpit of cyberspace, I don't know, but they where there. The Group Thanked them for Their contributions, they where the only thing that got them noticed. They liked the place and they soon grew to love this cesspit. Some however didn't like it, these people though uncyclopedia was too naughty, offensive and distasteful and they where disgusted. These people where shown the door. If you look from here you can just see that very door, right over there... no, a little more to your left...bit further... yeah, right there. Anyway, they where given a few good links for new people so they didn't become lost in the overwhelming rubbish that clogs up the drains in uncyclopedia:
Now I have told you a story its your turn to join in. If you read anything at all, make it the above two links, no stop reading this and read them, now! read them yet? no, well go an read it then. Done? lets continue, If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
I hope you enjoy your journey to becoming an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (
) above the edit box when making edits to the talk pages and the dump. This will automatically produce your name and the date so you don't have to spend ages and type it all out.
If you need help, feel free ask me on my talk page, I am a real person that will give real replies and not just some automated machine, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome and thank you for listening! There are other people that could have welcomed you, however the person that found you first was Sir Silent Penguin 
"your site makes no sence" The illusion is complete {{{2}}}