User:Shadowsnacker/Chitterlings

Chitterlings (sometimes spelled chitlins or chittlins in vernacular) are cooked pig intestines, that has been given a name so confusingly irrelevant that it in no way eludes to the fact that you're eating pig intestines. The dish is popular in many countries where it is part of the daily diet or a holiday cuisine, as well as with "people of color" and most anyone with a washing machine on their front porch.

History

Chitlins was first cooked by impoverished Europeans in the middle ages for no good goddamn reason at all. During colonial times people offered their slaves pig intestines and other unwanted animal parts for consumption. Today many African Americans still consider it a traditional cultural dish. The only correlation between these two diverse and period separated peoples seems to be illiteracy.

Health Concerns

There are none. Pig intestines are perfectly safe to eat unwashed or uncooked.

Cooking

....I wouldn't. But, hey, if you're going to anyway, why not boil them with "greens." Spinach, collards, or polk salad will do nicely and they're NAACP approved!

Cooking Instructions

Start by finding a pot large enough for the desired amount you wish to cook but fashionable enough to be worn as a hat.

• Fill pot with water.
• Add 2 tablespoons of vinegar.
• Combine with 3 cups of beef broth, per 1/2 pound of intestine.
• Add another 2 tablespoons of vinegar.
• Then, a quarter cup of salt.
• Onion powder(only a pinch)
• What ever is left in the bottle of vinegar.
• Your neighbors supply of vinegar.
• The before mentioned greens.

Taste after fifteen minutes to see if it's any good. It's not. You added too much vinegar.

Fun Facts

• Though the word "Chitlins" is a widely accepted alternate for the word "Children" the two don't actually taste anything alike!
• Chitlins are the only food that will cure Judaism.
• The film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang! is scary when you're on acid.