User:Shabidoo/art
Once the dinosaurs had realized space travel they divided into two factions. The vegetarians and the meat eaters. The vetgetarians snubbed their noses at the meat eaters and took off to colonize near-by systems leaving enormous steaming piles of excrement behind. The carnivores were angry but with patience they placed themselves into tough invisible bubbles that floated in the sky near the clouds. They hibernated in their giant warm bubbles but sometimes awoke to scratch their balls or crack their necks. One boy and his father awoke a few million years later.
"What are we doing papa"? Asked the boy.
"We have a special job to do" said Papasaur.
"What is it...tell me tell me".
"Be patient little one. And watch".
Papasaur took out a small dart gun and shot it down at the earth with an incredible precision. It landed inside a prison cell in an American penitentiary and it flew into a sleeping mans ass. He awoke and immediately went totally insane...bleeding out of the eyes. When the guards came he ate their faces and all hell broke loose. After two hours the entire prison population was filled with flesh hungry monsters. The penitentiary was fire-balled and burnt to a black smoldering heap of dust. The zombie problem was taken care of and man was saved. Little did they know that one of the guards who survived kept one of the zombified prisoners in his basement.
He and his family rehearsed for days and days creating a circus spectacle that they were proud of. Weeks later...they went into a talent office just as the manager was on his way out.
"What is this?" he asked.
"Why it's the show of your life" said the security guard turned circus man.
"Yeah yeah look I have a train to catch...maybe another day".
"All I'm asking for is a quick moment of your time."
"Look...it's my 40 year anniversary and I wont be late this time".
"You won't be late...just five minutes".
"I'll give you all the time you need tomorrow".
"I promise this will make your career..."
"Look kid...I've heard it a thousand times"
The security guard pulled out a gun and put it to the mans head "Listen here buddy...you're going to sit down and watch. In either case you aren't leaving here for the next five minutes...dead or alive".
The manager sat down after defecating in his pants. The family set up.
His daughter came out and placed a cage on the stage and pulled off a cover. It seemed to be a living zombie. Screaming and yelling with yellow liquid foaming out of its mouth. Hungry for organs and brains. Human ones. The whole family danced around the cage in the most beautiful silk garments to the music of Lakmé in a lullaby rhythm. The family pranced around the cage taunting the zombie. The little girl did flips over the cage and the wife flew past it on a flying trapeze mere millimeters from the grabbing hands of the blood thirsty zombie. The whole act was beautifully timed and their grace was dampened by the horrors of the zombie. By the time it was done the manager was crying profusely.
"That's incredible" said the manager. "It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. What do you call it"? he asked.
"We call it the..." just at that moment the daughter got a little too close to the cage and the zombie bit her hand off. She screamed out loud as blood squirted all over her parents face. She then bit off half of the managers neck as the rest of the family scrambled for their lives. They didn't get far as the manager chomped right through the security guards skull and sucked on his brains while the girl ate her mother's breasts and vagina. The brother didn't get far as the mother ripped out his heart and lungs eating them up like a greedy monkey. By the end of the day the whole city was nothing but zombies. Not just humans but all animals too were zombified.
It only took a weeks before the whole planet was one spinning globe of zombies. Soon all of the zombies made their way to a ground zero...a place on earth which was pre-programmed in their zombie DNA. They arrived and crawled on top of a pile of zombie bodies that was almost 10km high in the sky. All of the rotting bodies of people and mammals and insects and dolphins and all known creatures started to putrefy and harden into a nasty soup of sulfuric chemicals and putrefying flesh. After six months a grand shell formed around the mountain of steaming rot. Eventually all was quiet.
A year later Papasaur woke up his son and the two of them hovered over the giant zombie egg.
"What's happening papa?" asked the boy.
"It's the destiny of the meat eating dinosaurs" said Papasaur.
Just then the zombie-egg...taller than Mount Everest...cracked open and a giant Dino-Zombie bird with wings 5 km long and a razor sharp beak 2 km in length...with eyes the size of an elephant emerged. It shrieked a roar which shook the planet. Then all of the hibernating carnivore dinosaurs came out of their slumber and their bubbles became visible.
The Dino-Zombie-bird ran along the face of the earth crushing the zombified trees and grass and leaped into the atmosphere flying at an immense speed. The dinosaurs followed it as they left the earth and the moon behind.
"Where are we going daddy" asked his son.
"We are going to pay a friendly visit to our vegetarian cousins" said the father.
"Is the zombie going to eat them all".
"Oh my silly boy..." laughed Papasaur "...of course he wont...he's going to turn them all into other dinosaur-zombie-birds..." he said. "And then we will take over the galaxy."
The boy was amazed and awed by it all. "But there is so much pain and suffering this way" he cried.
"But that is the nature of the carnivore dinosaur my son...you will see...it will all make sense when you grow up and become a man-dino." he told him gently.
"Look at it...it's so big and scary looking" he cried.
"Yes...you shouldn't get too close my son".
"What is it called daddy" he asked.
"Why its the Aristocratisaur" said his father kindly as they floated past the rings of Saturn and made their way for the nearest stars.
"That's a pretty stupid name" said the boy.
"Yes...it sure is" said Papasaur. The entourage sped up to the speed of light and a wispy trail of protons floated behind them.