User:Shabidoo/aristo
A talent recruiter was locking up shop with nothing on his mind but the tortured sex slaves in his basement when a black family came in. There's always a family at the last minute on thanksgiving. He armed himself and opened the door.
The family came in and despite being black...didn't smell too bad. "I know why you're here...you have an amazing show to present".
"How didja know sir"? Said the soft voiced nigger.
"You guys have 5 minutes".
"You mean we'z can start now sir"? said his crippled daughter.
"You guys have 4 minutes and 50 seconds".
In a panic they set up a table with a plump Christmas raccoon (the meat poor folk could afford) and some canned spam and beans for sides . They prayed to the God of white men and then digged in.
"Dear...wud you carve the raccoon" said the negress.
"It's bobby's turn. He's 14 years and a man now. With my lame arm and broken fingers...it's his jawb now.
Bobby was so excited to carve the turkey that the knife slipped out of his hand and flew high in the air. All eyes were on it in a horrific panic as it spun in the air...almost in a grotesque slow motion...and then came back down. It landed right in the middle of the raccoon cutting it in half. It was so scarry they all let out a big deep southern laugh and then Pa farted out some anus sweat and said "pardon me". Bobby cut up the raccoon and gave the least sinewy grainy part of meat to his beloved Ma.
"How'z school doing little Sally Mae" asked the negro dad.
"Iz be learning the rest of the alfabet" she said in a cute sassy voice.
"What you mean the rest"? asked her Ma embarrassed cause she didn't know it.
"My teacher says there'z more than just a, b, c".
"What youz talking child" said the negress. "What comes after C" she asked.
"It's d, e, f, g" she replied meekly.
"Well looks at our little college girl. Yuz must think yuz so smart and high shit. Ranting off the letters of the alphabet like some smart ass high class street whore".
"Dear...it's thanks giving" said her recently-sitting-at-the-back-of-the-bus husband.
"Yuz right she said. I'm sorry. Anybody want some baked beans" she asked. Everyone seemed real sad. "I'm sorry Sally Mae...that's my moma talking. I don't want to be like she was...all spiteful and mean. Yuz forgive your Mama? Please Sally Mae"?
"Of course ma" she said teary.
"I love you sweet Mae...and you too Bobby" she said.
"I love you all" said the father "I have just the best nigger family in all of Alabama."
They enjoyed their meal and even sang a gospel song in four part harmony.
When they were done they formed a line in front of the talent agent and took a long dignified bow.
There was a 30 second moment of silence.
"That was it"? asked the talent agent.
"That's wez show mister" said the sweaty African American.
"Nothing else" he asked?
"That's the show".
"Hmm" said the talent agent. "In principle it is a good one...but there ought to be a few changes".
"Like what sir" asked Sally Mae.
"Well for started there wasn't enough incest.
"INCEST?" yelped mama with bulging eyes. "What kinda talent agency is this"?
"Your act is a morality play...not entertainment. It needs incest" he said.
"We aint gonna do no incest" said the man.
"No incest..no show".
Pa looked at Ma with a sad face. They really needed the money. "Whatz we gonna do Ma" said pa "we spent our last money on this here racoon".
"I'll pay you a high rate. $20 a show. No black family ever got more. Come now...lets see the show again...only this time with incest...good incest...like you really mean it".
"Daddy" said Sally Mae. Please don't make me do nothing sinful.
"Don't worry honey...we can live on the street before we do that" he said. "Sorry sir...you'll have to exploit some other poor family" as he headed towards the door.
The talent agent took out gun and held it to the fathers temple. He told the rest of the family to back off and told Pa to pull down his pants and bend over. Pa was crying nigger tears which only turned on the talent agent more. He shoved the taser into his rectum and switched it to setting number 1. Pa fell onto the ground convulsing while the rest of the family screamed. Billy tried to stop the talent agent but decided to shoot daddy in the foot. "Do that again and I'll lynch all of you" he said to the boy. "Ill call my KKK friends". They backed off again.
"Now...Bobby and Sally Mae...let's see some incestuizing or I'm going to turn up the dial on that taser in your Pa's asshole to maximum". The two kids stood there screaming and crying. "What are you doing to my Pa? Why? Whyyyyyyyyyyy?". Their tears flooded the flood and their screams echoed off the sound proof walls. It made the talent agent so horny his balls were sweating citric acid.
The tallent agent turned up the dial on the taser to max and immediately the veins on Pa started to bulge out. The fierce convulsions created a sort of convection oven in his body cavity so that just when he started bleeding out of his eye sockets his pancreas exploded sending all sorts of black bile out of his anus and through his nose at such speed it squirted all over his family's face.
"I don't think he will survive that" said the talent agent. "Now eat your Pa's black bile" he commanded.
The family ran screaming for the door which was locked. They clawed at it to no effect...too scarred to look back at the talent agent.
"I'm going to ask you again. Let me see some thanks giving incest" he demanded.
"No" said a weepy mama. "I'm not gonna let you do that to my babies".
The talent agent then shot mama in the face and she keeled over...still alive. He then ripped off her dress and her panties and shoved the taser up her pee-hole ripping it wide enough and open enough to thrust it deep inside. He then switched it to setting 5. Oh the painful last minutes of Ma's life. Oh the pain.
The talent man slowly increased the setting on the taser and started thrusting it in and out of the pee hole riping it open even more...shoving it in deeper and deeper like an electric penis until he finally orgasmed several times in a row. Mama breathed her last torturous breath and the talent man pulled down his pants and beat off his tiny little dick which exploded semen all over the children's faces with spluge so hot it almost burnt their black skin.
"Okay...fun's over. Get the fuck out of here kids" he said while lighting a cigarette and buttoning up his pants. "I've had enough thanksgiving for one year. By the way the grand wizard is also the sheriff so go narc on me at your own risk" he said as they carefully walked over to the door. Bobby took out his shaking hand and slowly turned the knob. "Hey you" he said pointing to them as they froze "...next time...don't bother a talent agent on Thanks giving day with a morality play. Come here again without incest and I'll bring out my big red tool box."
They said goodbye to their parents and opened up the door leaving behind their traumatised past forever and stepping into a future life of black poverty and crime. Just before crossing the threshold...Bobby looked up at the man with puppy eyes and asked him "why...why mister did you taser my papa and my mama in their anus and peehole"?
The talent agent looked at the two children with the a non-chalante poker face and replied "...aristocrats".