User:Shabidoo/Gay Canadians

The Canadian gay is a time honoured man who with bold and proud beginnings has slowly morphed into a sort of dissapointing sell out with a house in the suburb and a more or less blah turn toward conservative gayness. Once, the subject of back pages of various magazines, the Canadian gay has become the subject of closer to the front pages boring magazines like the economist and Asian politics. The story of flamy gay fame to prudent partnered for life fiscally responsible everyman, is a story repeated all throughout history, only, no one thought it would really happen to the Canadian gay. It did.

Its origins

The Canadian gay was born around 18-something, when the country was born. Until then, the Canadian gay was a sort of indefinable male who bounced around from lucky opportunity to incredible chance. Bending over in woods with lonely lumberjacks, licking icicles in the northern arctic and eating creme filled eclaires in Quebec city, he was a sort of known unknown. Most people were aware of his existance, but he was never the official part of anything.

The founding of a national homosexual

When Canada became the Dominion it is today, the Canadian gay sort of kind of came out. Flouting around in the streets of Toronto and Montreal, he was sort of kind of tollerated by some and spat upon by others. He helped make beautiful women sort of pretty and helped cover up her punch marks and violated hooches, and huged girls making them feel physically touchable and cared for. However by the 10s and 20s the Canadian gay felt despised for the evil that he was and ran away to Paris for a while. Only lonely rich house wives noticed his absence, that, and a few nostalgic Eskimos.

The Parisian years

The Canadian gay jumped around on the French social callendar hitting up fashion shows, champagn parties, existential cafe chats and the ocasional bohemian orgy of sorts. He was popular due to his incredible flame, ability to hop and prance from one side of the street to the other in his tight pants framing his rock hard but, with thick glasses accenting his well trimmed mustache. He was an unknown known, everyone had fun when he was around but then sort of forgot about him when he wasn't. Which was a pretty okay way to be someone back then.

The War Years

The Canadian gay was conscripted into the Canadian military during both world wars. They were the best years of his lives and he never quite recovered once he was "discharged". He slept maybe one our a day if he was unlucky. He didn't enjoy the routine repeititon of houswork, but he did enjoy repeat visits to his generals quarters and the chaplans office. He never had to make his bed each morning as it was never slept in. When not in official military service, he would pass by the nurses tent and help them put on blush and mascara and steal a little of theirs so he could bring out his blue eyes. Sometimes he would soak his hands in a hot lemony solution, if there was any hot water or lemons available. He was given over fifty medals, the Queens medal for his outstanding contributions to officer morale and his daily smile patrol. His most favourite activity was shadow puppet nights, which were extremely popular and earned him a quarter of his military merits.