User:Shabidoo/Baked Potato

Baked Potatoes are a reasonably sensible food item to pair with some other bland food such as boiled beef or chicken thighs. While frying potatoes or mashing them with butter is a hyper flavourful way to eat them, baking them in the oven is the perfect way to maintain an unnotable texture and enjoy the most unpenetrating flavour. Baked potatoes are a mainstay in the cuisine of easily forgotten places like Wyoming, New Brunswick and Lichtenstein. No one is sure who first baked a potato but it was likely done out of desperation by someone who needed to eat a potato and only had an open fire available. However it was discovered that person gifted the world a fantastic combination of dreary and unadventurous food.

Cooking it

You can use an oven or an open fire. If you use an open fire you might want to put aluminium wrap around it unless you like scortched black potatoes with a charcoal texture. Some people enjoy spending 40 minutes staring through the glass of their oven watching a potato bake. However what is most thrilling is spending 25 minutes watching it cool down on a plate afterwards. People are known to be so mind numbingly bored while eating a baked potato they will eat it before it cools down and terribly burn their mouth just so they can experience something other than staring at a potato. They may regret it afterwards while nursing blisters in their mouth but at the moment hurting themselves seemed the right thing to do.

Additives

It is not recommended to add anything to the potato though highly reckless people are known to add salt an pepper. Italians are known to ruin things by adding olive oil and basil. The lunatics of Mexico add bacon and sour cream. It is believed that the high sodium and fat content are responsible for Mexican's lazy and unproductive disposition but that may actually be simply a result of genetics.

Physical Process

If your stomach can handle it you'd be best to just eat the potato raw. However for those who prefer a mild amount of adventure baking them makes it slightly more palatable.

From the potatoes point of view

Potatoes are massochistic and highly enjoy being tortured by heat. Frying them will quickly kill them with an intense but short amount of pain. Baking them extends their blissful suffering over the course of 40 minutes and some are even known to survive and delight in being cut open with a fork and knife.