User:Shabidoo/Asteroid Belt

"So you think you're ready to join our squad" asked the gritty tough guy of the group.

"It's best you don't answer" said the calm nice soldier...the one you could lend twenty bucks and get back.

"Don't worry" she said. "The only people I need to prove anything to are the inhabitants of the Milky Way".

"Yeah" said the gritty guy. "Milky-Wayians and me" he laughed.

"Show us what you got" said the dorky one...the guy wearing thick glasses.

"Or show us your tits" laughed the gritty tough guy letting out a tough gritty laugh. Before he could finish his final chuckle she had run across the 20 meters between him, jumped forward with a triple flip kicking her boots right into his douche-bag face. Before she landed his head had flown off landing on the ground and rolling upto the feet of the nice guy.

"Not bad..." said he nice guy flashing the tiniest of half-smiles. She felt the small pang of a blush, the kind that slightly warms up the fluids and makes one lose all sense of reason and control. She could have none of that. She turned around to the other to see if there were any takers. There were none.

The tough guy stood up without his head and walked about in circles. "Bitch...we don't knock off each other's body parts in this unit...".

"Don't worry hun. I think he'll be leaving you alone from now on" said the guy who was too cool for school.

"Guys like this never leave girls alone..." she said from years of experience.

"Barracks"? she asked. The too cool for school guy pointed to a scrappy building ahead. She walked towards it passing the gritty tough guy. He was on the ground searching for his head. Just as he was about to find it she kicked it another 20 meters away. Everyone but the tough gritty guy laughed.

"No cunt kicks my head off and lives another day" he quietly mumbled to himself as he screwed his head on.

Chapter 2

She unpacked her kit. It wasn't much. Some toiletries, a soft teddybear, her karate-kit with a third degree black belt and her giraffe transformer. Before she could even sit the General of the Milkyway Walked in. She tensed up.

"At ease" he said.She half relaxed. "I see you've already made an impression".

"I'm sorry for the..."

"No need to appologise. Best impression you can make".

"Thank you sir".

"Don't call me sir" he said.

"Sorry, sir".

"Now you will have to be penalised. Let me just take off my belt..." he said.

"What"? she asked in an angry tone.

"Just joking. You'll have to get used to this. You'll hear things like this all day long. You'll have to ignore it unless one of them touches you" he said approaching her. He caressed her arms. "Sort of like this". He made his way to her breasts. She punched his arms away and jumped back into a two-fanged tiger pose. He laughed and lunged towards her breasts. She let him touch them and in his surprise with both his hands busy holding her breasts she swivled around getting her legs around his head. Just as she was about to twist it off he flipped around throwing her to the ground fast and hard. His technique was advanced. Very advanced.

"That is how you must deal with every enemy. As though every move they make is personal. As though they are always trying to grab your breasts". He didn't grab her breasts this time. He walked out of the barracks. "Did he do that to teach me a lesson or is he just a gross horny old man?" she asked herself. Since she never slept there was no bed so she sat in a chair and adjusted her eye-liner with a pocket mirror.

Chapter 3

Her training began early. They all had a delicious breakfast of carbo-monutate-dicyclide-phosphorate and a little mint to keep their teeth clean. They then did martial arts. She had a PhD in Karate as well as in quantum-boxing. She won all of her fights except with the nice guy. Just as she was about to pummel his face she looked into his beautiful blue eyes and froze. The depth of his glance was piercing. When he looked at her he saw beyond her synthetic flesh and saw her for what she was. Not on guard he easily picked her up and then smashed her deep into the ground leaving a 1 meter deep crator. Which is to say he was gentle with her because he could have smashed her six feet down. The tough guy came upto them.

"Nice. Left an outline of your body. You can even see the curves of your hips and your tits. There's now an easy access hole that we can fill up whenever we want to".

"What's this obsession with my breast. Seriously"? she asked. She took off her shirt and flashed her body. "Now you've all seen them. None of you will ever touch these." Everyone looked at her in shock. Except the nice guy. He looked away. Was it because he was a gentleman or because he was disgusted by her behaviour. "None of you will ever touch these. If you try...this will happen" and she ripped off the tough guys head again. It landed in the crator in the ground. They all laughed at him as he searched in vein for his head. "The bitch dies tonight".