User:Savethemooses/OliproPLUS

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In 2007, the greatest marketing battle of time took place.

This is the story of that battle.

The Origins of OliproPLUS[edit | edit source]

  • [2007-02-05 20:54:49] =-= User mode for Savethemooses is now -e
  • [2007-02-05 20:54:49] =-= YOU are now known as OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 20:54:57] <UNKNOWNFILE> heh
  • [2007-02-05 20:55:01] <OliproPLUS> MORE Olipro content!
  • [2007-02-05 20:55:06] =-= Olipro- is now known as Savethemooses
  • [2007-02-05 20:55:13] =-= Savethemooses is now known as Olipro-
  • [2007-02-05 20:55:15] <OliproPLUS> Only 200 quid for more Olipro!
  • [2007-02-05 20:55:33] <Olipro-> quid?
  • [2007-02-05 20:55:44] <Olipro-> does this mean you're British?
  • [2007-02-05 20:56:00] <OliproPLUS> Yes.
  • [2007-02-05 20:56:08] <OliproPLUS> I'm British... PLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 20:56:17] <Spang> Does oliproPLUS keep you awake longer?
  • [2007-02-05 20:56:22] <OliproPLUS> I have a colourful sense of humour.
  • [2007-02-05 20:56:23] <Olipro-> lying Gringo
  • [2007-02-05 20:56:34] =-= YellowCrab is now known as RudyValencia
  • [2007-02-05 20:56:54] <OliproPLUS> Spang: No, in fact OliproPLUS also cures restless legs syndrome
  • [2007-02-05 20:57:10] <Olipro-> I also have a colourful sense of humour
  • [2007-02-05 20:57:22] <Olipro-> some would argue mine is more robust
  • [2007-02-05 20:57:36] <OliproPLUS> But OliproPLUS' sens of humor is more colourful
  • [2007-02-05 20:57:43] <OliproPLUS> MORE COLOUR!
  • [2007-02-05 20:57:46] <OliproPLUS> MORE OF THE TIME!
  • [2007-02-05 20:57:50] <OliproPLUS> ONLY 300 QUID!
  • [2007-02-05 20:58:09] <LordKaT> Shut the fuck up right now and sit in a corner or I'll rape your eyeballs.
  • [2007-02-05 20:58:14] * Olipro- cancels shipping of OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 20:58:31] <Olipro-> awesome, LordKaT to the rescue
  • [2007-02-05 20:58:32] <OliproPLUS> Having trouble peeling those tricky fruits? OliproPLUS peels all fruits! Yes, even mangoes!
  • [2007-02-05 20:58:47] <Spang> OK BRB, LOL, CU
  • [2007-02-05 20:58:52] |<-- Spang has left freenode ()
  • [2007-02-05 20:59:03] <Olipro-> LOL HAX
  • [2007-02-05 20:59:19] <LordKaT> omgwtfhax
  • [2007-02-05 20:59:45] <Olipro-> I'm tempted to change my name to LadyKaT
  • [2007-02-05 20:59:47] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS is hax-proof
  • [2007-02-05 21:00:02] <Olipro-> excpet it'd be *really* gay
  • [2007-02-05 21:00:04] <OliproPLUS> for only 300 more quid you can get full hax protection for six months
  • [2007-02-05 21:00:08] <Olipro-> *except
  • [2007-02-05 21:00:10] <LordKaT> Olipro, Your obsession with me is REALLY bordering on homosexuality.
  • [2007-02-05 21:00:16] =-= Olipro- is now known as LadyKaT
  • [2007-02-05 21:00:21] <LadyKaT> it is?
  • [2007-02-05 21:00:35] <LordKaT> DON'T make me use the steel vibrator.
  • [2007-02-05 21:00:44] <LadyKaT> haha
  • [2007-02-05 21:01:10] <LadyKaT> your face or mine?
  • [2007-02-05 21:01:23] <LadyKaT> oh dear... gayness overload
  • [2007-02-05 21:01:29] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS is NOT gay!

The rest[edit | edit source]

  • [2007-02-05 21:18:10] <Olipro-> normalcy resumes
  • [2007-02-05 21:18:26] <Olipro-> we now bring you back to your scheduled programming
  • [2007-02-05 21:18:29] <Witt> That answered some questions...
  • [2007-02-05 21:18:36] <Witt> ...and raised a ton more others
  • [2007-02-05 21:18:37] =-= User mode for Savethemooses is now -e
  • [2007-02-05 21:18:37] =-= YOU are now known as OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 21:18:43] <OliproPLUS> that's right, OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 21:18:53] <Olipro-> oh you fuckbucket
  • [2007-02-05 21:18:58] <OliproPLUS> All of the Olipro, none of the weirdness, ten times the price!
  • [2007-02-05 21:19:11] <--| LardKat has left #uncyclopedia
  • [2007-02-05 21:19:25] =-= Witt is now known as OliproSELECT
  • [2007-02-05 21:19:36] <OliproSELECT> Only the finest Olipro available
  • [2007-02-05 21:19:38] <Olipro-> and backwards compatible;
  • [2007-02-05 21:19:39] <zombieninja666> =+
  • [2007-02-05 21:19:44] * Olipro- rapes OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 21:19:58] <zombieninja666> brb
  • [2007-02-05 21:20:00] <OliproSELECT> My competitor has NO protection
  • [2007-02-05 21:20:01] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS: Now with RapeShield!
  • [2007-02-05 21:20:05] <--| zombieninja666 has left #uncyclopedia
  • [2007-02-05 21:20:11] * PrincessCaitlai bys the Olipro plus..
  • [2007-02-05 21:20:16] <PrincessCaitlai> buys*
  • [2007-02-05 21:20:18] <OliproSELECT> D:
  • [2007-02-05 21:20:22] -->| zombieninja101 (n=game-mas@74.12.124.235) has joined #uncyclopedia
  • [2007-02-05 21:20:25] <Olipro-> HAHA, gutted
  • [2007-02-05 21:20:26] <OliproPLUS> Thanks, that'll be 400 Qquid!
  • [2007-02-05 21:20:36] <OliproSELECT> Sell-out
  • [2007-02-05 21:20:39] <OliproPLUS> (per month)
  • [2007-02-05 21:20:46] <zombieninja101> wth
  • [2007-02-05 21:20:59] <Olipro-> OliproSELECT: that's what you get for being inferior
  • [2007-02-05 21:21:05] * PrincessCaitlai emptys wolf's wallet and pays..
  • [2007-02-05 21:21:09] <OliproPLUS> by Qquid I mean quid. One Q.
  • [2007-02-05 21:21:17] =-= zombieninja101 is now known as Olipro--
  • [2007-02-05 21:21:19] <OliproSELECT> I am a division of Time-Warner....
  • [2007-02-05 21:21:20] -->| Kalir (n=Kalir@71-38-245-12.slkc.qwest.net) has joined #uncyclopedia
  • [2007-02-05 21:21:25] <Olipro--> double negative.
  • [2007-02-05 21:21:26] <Olipro-> not like QQueer
  • [2007-02-05 21:21:29] <OliproSELECT> Oh yah
  • [2007-02-05 21:21:38] <Olipro-> wow
  • [2007-02-05 21:21:42] <OliproPLUS> Thanks customer! Soon you'll enjoy everything you've ever gotten from Olipro, except this time not for free!
  • [2007-02-05 21:21:49] <Kalir> I see we're playing the tompkins game again, only with Olipro.
  • [2007-02-05 21:21:56] <Olipro-> I'm being made an institution in my own right
  • [2007-02-05 21:22:00] <Olipro-> I love it
  • [2007-02-05 21:22:02] =-= Kalir is now known as OliproToTheMAX
  • [2007-02-05 21:22:04] <Olipro--> does anyone have a lowercase L in their name?
  • [2007-02-05 21:22:06] <OliproPLUS> Hey there, Kalir, do you love Olipro?
  • [2007-02-05 21:22:12] <OliproToTheMAX> TO THE EXTREME!
  • [2007-02-05 21:22:14] =-= Olipro-- is now known as KaIir
  • [2007-02-05 21:22:27] <KaIir> name thievery
  • [2007-02-05 21:22:30] <OliproPLUS> You'll LOVE OliproPLUS just as much, but you'll get to spend money on it!
  • [2007-02-05 21:22:41] <OliproToTheMAX> Dude, not cool.
  • [2007-02-05 21:22:56] <KaIir> Anyone using a font that can't tell the difference?
  • [2007-02-05 21:23:00] <OliproSELECT> Although OliproSELECT is much cheaper and more user friendly!
  • [2007-02-05 21:23:18] <OliproPLUS> OliproSELECT employs well-known pedophiles!
  • [2007-02-05 21:23:20] <OliproToTheMAX> Like this one time, I ate these Cheetos, and then I made out with this chick, and her tongue got orange, then we all started calling her Skippy.
  • [2007-02-05 21:23:33] <OliproPLUS> Only OliproPLUS does full background checks on all employees!
  • [2007-02-05 21:23:34] <KaIir> Hey, wtf?
  • [2007-02-05 21:23:37] <Olipro-> ...
  • [2007-02-05 21:23:38] <OliproToTheMAX> Skippy-Dippy! Yeah, you see what I'm saying?
  • [2007-02-05 21:23:47] <OliproSELECT> OliproPLUS sells expired products
  • [2007-02-05 21:24:03] <Olipro-> OliproSELECT is UNENDORSED
  • [2007-02-05 21:24:10] <OliproSELECT> OliproSELECT has the freshest supplies around
  • [2007-02-05 21:24:12] <Olipro-> only OliproPLUS is approved
  • [2007-02-05 21:24:20] * OliproPLUS OliproSELECT may have ties to al-Qaeda!
  • [2007-02-05 21:24:27] <OliproToTheMAX> OliproToTheMAX is totally extreme, dude!
  • [2007-02-05 21:24:33] <Olipro-> it has genuine Olipro certification
  • [2007-02-05 21:24:34] <OliproSELECT> (shuttup achmed)
  • [2007-02-05 21:24:34] <OliproPLUS> do you really want to take that risk?
  • [2007-02-05 21:24:57] <Olipro-> plus, OliproSELECT is probably homosexual
  • [2007-02-05 21:25:08] * OliproSELECT is certified with the FDA, unlike OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 21:25:11] <Olipro-> and likely to have AIDS as a result
  • [2007-02-05 21:25:14] =-= OliproToTheMAX is now known as tompkins
  • [2007-02-05 21:25:16] <OliproPLUS> If you want the very best in licensed Olipro, it's gotta be OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 21:25:21] * KaIir Kalir
  • [2007-02-05 21:25:24] <OliproPLUS> Only 600 quid!
  • [2007-02-05 21:25:40] * tompkins KaIir
  • [2007-02-05 21:25:46] <KaIir> I can't tell the difference with this font.
  • [2007-02-05 21:25:49] <Olipro-> you doubled the price after 1 sale?
  • [2007-02-05 21:25:59] <tompkins> I can, but only by a bit. Italics makes it tougher.
  • [2007-02-05 21:26:04] <OliproSELECT> It's a capital "I" I think
  • [2007-02-05 21:26:10] <Olipro-> anyway
  • [2007-02-05 21:26:25] <KaIir> Yes, that's how the name steal is done.
  • [2007-02-05 21:26:34] <Olipro-> I'm going to sleep
  • [2007-02-05 21:26:38] <Olipro-> toodlepip
  • [2007-02-05 21:26:39] =-= tompkins is now known as Kalir
  • [2007-02-05 21:26:43] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS never sleeps!
  • [2007-02-05 21:26:44] <Olipro-> *toodle pip
  • [2007-02-05 21:26:45] <KaIir> gtfo my name!
  • [2007-02-05 21:26:45] <PrincessCaitlai> bye Olipro_
  • [2007-02-05 21:26:49] <Kalir> NEVAR!
  • [2007-02-05 21:26:52] * OliproSELECT is eternety
  • [2007-02-05 21:26:57] <Olipro-> be seeing you
  • [2007-02-05 21:27:01] * OliproPLUS spells correctly!
  • [2007-02-05 21:27:02] |<-- Olipro- has left freenode (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
  • [2007-02-05 21:27:08] <Kalir> There can only be ONE!
  • [2007-02-05 21:27:14] <KaIir> ME!
  • [2007-02-05 21:27:16] * Kalir Highlanders KaIir
  • [2007-02-05 21:27:33] * OliproSELECT duels OliproPLUS to the DEATH
  • [2007-02-05 21:27:34] =-= KaIir is now known as OIiproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 21:27:47] <OIiproPLUS> oohh, 1337 h4x
  • [2007-02-05 21:27:56] * OliproPLUS goes down smooth
  • [2007-02-05 21:27:59] <Kalir> Wow, so many Olipro options. I wonder which Olipro is right for me?
  • [2007-02-05 21:28:05] <OIiproPLUS> me
  • [2007-02-05 21:28:06] * OliproSELECT !!!!!!!!!!!!
  • [2007-02-05 21:28:14] <OliproPLUS> If you want quantaty, you'll want OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 21:28:18] <Kalir> Ha ha, I got you all to beg for attention.
  • [2007-02-05 21:28:19] * OIiproPLUS > OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 21:28:36] <OIiproPLUS> wtf?
  • [2007-02-05 21:28:46] <OIiproPLUS> hey, gtfo my name!
  • [2007-02-05 21:28:47] <OliproSELECT> If you want quality, you'll want OliproSELECT!
  • [2007-02-05 21:28:54] <OliproPLUS> By quantaty, I of course mean quality plus quantity!
  • [2007-02-05 21:28:54] <OIiproPLUS> you gtfo mah name.
  • [2007-02-05 21:29:07] <OIiproPLUS> no u
  • [2007-02-05 21:29:08] <Kalir> And if I want to zerg rush my foes with Gucci zerglings?
  • [2007-02-05 21:29:17] <OIiproPLUS> wtf am I doing?
  • [2007-02-05 21:29:20] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS had an ad during the Super Bowl last night!
  • [2007-02-05 21:29:24] <OliproSELECT> Hah, too slow, and you mizpelledt "quantaty"
  • [2007-02-05 21:29:35] <Kalir> I AM INTARWEBZ GOD TODAY.
  • [2007-02-05 21:29:44] <OliproSELECT> phear
  • [2007-02-05 21:29:47] <OliproPLUS> Unlike OliproSELECT, OliproPLUS is not a total douche!
  • [2007-02-05 21:29:49] <OliproPLUS> Buy today!
  • [2007-02-05 21:30:01] <OIiproPLUS> yeah!
  • [2007-02-05 21:30:03] -->| McDestroyertron (n=ashat@c-24-23-38-59.hsd1.mn.comcast.net) has joined #uncyclopedia
  • [2007-02-05 21:30:10] <OIiproPLUS> lolhi
  • [2007-02-05 21:30:26] <OliproPLUS> Hey there Mac! Have you been craving some Olipro?
  • [2007-02-05 21:30:28] <OliproSELECT> Hah, what have you and your lies.
  • [2007-02-05 21:30:31] <OIiproPLUS> I'm the real OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 21:30:31] <OliproPLUS> Try OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 21:30:42] <OliproSELECT> I'm the better buy!
  • [2007-02-05 21:30:42] <OliproPLUS> Don't go for those imitators!
  • [2007-02-05 21:30:46] =-= McDestroyertron is now known as McOlipro
  • [2007-02-05 21:30:50] <OliproSELECT> The original!
  • [2007-02-05 21:30:55] <OIiproPLUS> Is ME!
  • [2007-02-05 21:31:03] <OliproPLUS> For only 800 quid you can get OliproPLUS... with an "L" so you know it's real!
  • [2007-02-05 21:31:12] <Kalir> Nuts to this, I'm buying an independent brand.
  • [2007-02-05 21:31:13] <OIiproPLUS> I'm the L
  • [2007-02-05 21:31:31] <OliproSELECT> Founded in the early 18th century, unlike the cheapskate imitators
  • [2007-02-05 21:31:36] <Kalir> I'm buying from Morlark Signature.
  • [2007-02-05 21:31:46] <OIiproPLUS> Founded at the begining of time.
  • [2007-02-05 21:31:58] <OIiproPLUS> OIiproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 21:31:58] <OliproSELECT> You mean lost in transit
  • [2007-02-05 21:32:02] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS has been around since before time
  • [2007-02-05 21:32:12] <OliproPLUS> If it predates time, you know it's good!
  • [2007-02-05 21:32:13] <OIiproPLUS> Yeah, that's it!
  • [2007-02-05 21:32:23] * OliproSELECT has been awarded two thumbs up by Ebert and Roeper
  • [2007-02-05 21:32:51] * OIiproPLUS > OliproSELECT
  • [2007-02-05 21:32:52] * OliproPLUS has been endorsed by every living Nobel prizewinner, plus a few dead ones
  • [2007-02-05 21:33:03] <OliproSELECT> OIiproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 21:33:07] <OliproPLUS> > OIiproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 21:33:10] <OIiproPLUS> What I said!
  • [2007-02-05 21:33:12] * McOlipro has received the Congressional Medal of Cool
  • [2007-02-05 21:33:30] <OIiproPLUS> ./\ lies!
  • [2007-02-05 21:33:37] <OliproSELECT> False truths!
  • [2007-02-05 21:33:47] <OliproPLUS> McOlipro is filled with trans fats!
  • [2007-02-05 21:33:48] * OIiproPLUS > OliproSELECT
  • [2007-02-05 21:33:50] <Kalir> Advertising killed the Olipro!
  • [2007-02-05 21:33:53] <OliproPLUS> > You
  • [2007-02-05 21:33:53] <LordKaT> what the fuck.
  • [2007-02-05 21:34:08] <Kalir> LordKaT: Trst me, do not get involved.
  • [2007-02-05 21:34:11] <OliproSELECT> Bye today. Just 3 easy payments of $199.95
  • [2007-02-05 21:34:12] <LordKaT> I leave for 10 minutes to take a shit and it looks like you guys took one big shit in the middle of the channel.
  • [2007-02-05 21:34:15] * OIiproPLUS > OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 21:34:34] <OliproSELECT> OliproSELECT
  • [2007-02-05 21:34:38] <McOlipro> wonk
  • [2007-02-05 21:34:41] <OIiproPLUS> <3 LordKat
  • [2007-02-05 21:34:44] * OliproPLUS has great payment plans!
  • [2007-02-05 21:34:51] <OIiproPLUS> Where's the <3 LordKat?
  • [2007-02-05 21:35:01] <LordKaT> it's already in your ass.
  • [2007-02-05 21:35:03] * OliproSELECT has no interest for 3 years or until 2009!!!
  • [2007-02-05 21:35:05] <OliproPLUS> 800 quid over three months
  • [2007-02-05 21:35:15] <Kalir> Ha ha, ass container humor!
  • [2007-02-05 21:35:18] <OliproPLUS> or 600 quid every month for a year!
  • [2007-02-05 21:35:35] * OIiproPLUS has no interest ever and on;y costs $100!
  • [2007-02-05 21:35:50] * OliproPLUS costs more so you know it's good!
  • [2007-02-05 21:36:01] <OliproSELECT> Thats because you're workers are all hired illegal immigrants. Commie!
  • [2007-02-05 21:36:13] <OliproPLUS> You'll make money off this investment within three business days!
  • [2007-02-05 21:36:14] * OIiproPLUS is cheap so you have nothing to lose!
  • [2007-02-05 21:36:15] * OliproSELECT uses only safe all-natural soybeans
  • [2007-02-05 21:36:33] <McOlipro> Bye whores
  • [2007-02-05 21:36:35] <OliproPLUS> Use OliproPLUS to accurately predict the future and win the lottery
  • [2007-02-05 21:36:41] =-= McOlipro is now known as McDestroyertron
  • [2007-02-05 21:36:42] |<-- McDestroyertron has left freenode ("What is the sound of one man leaving?")
  • [2007-02-05 21:36:52] * OIiproPLUS was made in a sweatshop, so it's cheap!
  • [2007-02-05 21:36:54] |<-- Jets has left freenode (Remote closed the connection)
  • [2007-02-05 21:37:05] * OliproSELECT > OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 21:37:06] <OIiproPLUS> And what he said!
  • [2007-02-05 21:37:13] * OliproPLUS was handcrafted by skilled artisans!
  • [2007-02-05 21:37:17] |<-- Kalir has left freenode ("SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!")
  • [2007-02-05 21:37:54] <OliproSELECT> Accepts credit cards and travelers checks
  • [2007-02-05 21:38:14] <OIiproPLUS> yeah, so was OIiproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 21:38:21] <LordKaT> yes but wht the hell does the Olipro+/Select do?
  • [2007-02-05 21:38:21] <OliproSELECT> LISE!
  • [2007-02-05 21:38:32] <OliproSELECT> So much more!
  • [2007-02-05 21:38:50] <OIiproPLUS> it does nothing, but OIiproPLUS does everthing!
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:11] <OliproPLUS> Glad you asked.
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:12] <OliproSELECT> It does not, the man is a skilled con artist
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:27] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS is the panacea for every disease!
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:30] <OIiproPLUS> Best convo ever!
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:30] <OliproPLUS> Including rickets!
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:34] <OIiproPLUS> <Omni> I join
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:34] <OIiproPLUS> <Omni> and then you do
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:34] <OIiproPLUS> <zombieninja666> I'm following you.
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:34] <OIiproPLUS> <Omni> I swear, you are
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:34] <OIiproPLUS> <Omni> WHO THE FUCK ARE YOOU
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:34] <OIiproPLUS> <zombieninja666> I am ************
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:36] <OIiproPLUS> <Omni> BEATRIX KIDDO?
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:38] <OIiproPLUS> <zombieninja666> ?
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:40] <OIiproPLUS> <Omni> ...KilL Bill?
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:42] <OIiproPLUS> <zombieninja666> Good movie.
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:44] <OIiproPLUS> <Omni> Don't fucking tell me, you haven't ...oh
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:46] <OIiproPLUS> <zombieninja666> They're having a nice game of steal the name at #uncyclopedia
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:48] <OIiproPLUS> <Omni> lol
  • [2007-02-05 21:39:50] <OIiproPLUS> <Omni> sex
  • [2007-02-05 21:40:04] <OliproPLUS> ok.
  • [2007-02-05 21:40:21] <OIiproPLUS> Then guess what I said!
  • [2007-02-05 21:40:33] <OliproPLUS> Poop.
  • [2007-02-05 21:40:43] <OliproSELECT> Lol palindrome
  • [2007-02-05 21:41:22] <OIiproPLUS> after he said "sex" I said...
  • [2007-02-05 21:41:36] * OliproPLUS has palindromes at low low prices!
  • [2007-02-05 21:41:45] <OliproPLUS> Madam, I'm Adam!
  • [2007-02-05 21:41:50] <OliproSELECT> Anagrams! 2 for 1 special!
  • [2007-02-05 21:41:57] <OliproPLUS> ONLY 12 QUID PER PALINDROME!
  • [2007-02-05 21:42:06] * OIiproPLUS is now free for the next 28 seconds!
  • [2007-02-05 21:42:18] * OliproPLUS is never free, so you know it's good!
  • [2007-02-05 21:42:19] * OliproSELECT has phone lines *OPEN*
  • [2007-02-05 21:42:38] <LordKaT> I need my sword.
  • [2007-02-05 21:42:44] * OliproPLUS doesn't use phones because it knows you want it already and is sending it to you right now!
  • [2007-02-05 21:43:06] <OIiproPLUS> All 279 people that ran in and took one agree, OIiproPLUS is teh pwnage.
  • [2007-02-05 21:43:23] * OliproSELECT speedily delivers LordKat his sword, because its the fastest choice out there
  • [2007-02-05 21:43:24] <OIiproPLUS> And at only $350
  • [2007-02-05 21:43:26] * OliproPLUS never uses 1337speak, so you know it's over the age of 12
  • [2007-02-05 21:43:41] <OIiproPLUS> :(
  • [2007-02-05 21:43:55] <OIiproPLUS> typo?
  • [2007-02-05 21:44:07] <OliproSELECT> My competitor is a childish look-alike
  • [2007-02-05 21:44:11] <LordKaT> ah
  • [2007-02-05 21:44:13] <OliproSELECT> Make the real choice people
  • [2007-02-05 21:44:14] <LordKaT> thank you, OliproSELECT
  • [2007-02-05 21:44:21] * OliproPLUS can offer you a flaming sword of Avignon for free if you sign up today!
  • [2007-02-05 21:44:27] <OliproSELECT> Another satisfied customer
  • [2007-02-05 21:44:27] * LordKaT takes the sword and processed to stab OliproPLUS and OliproSELECT in the kernel.
  • [2007-02-05 21:44:32] * OIiproPLUS too
  • [2007-02-05 21:44:44] * OliproPLUS is kernel-free, so you know it's good!
  • [2007-02-05 21:44:50] * OIiproPLUS too
  • [2007-02-05 21:45:12] * OliproSELECT has upgraded it's kernals to be 5 times as effecient than a non-kernal operatus
  • [2007-02-05 21:45:16] <OliproPLUS> Now that OliproSELECT is dead, why not go with the choice that ISN'T dead
  • [2007-02-05 21:45:21] <OliproPLUS> That's us!
  • [2007-02-05 21:45:49] * OIiproPLUS too
  • [2007-02-05 21:45:57] * OIiproPLUS too?
  • [2007-02-05 21:46:04] <OliproPLUS> Being alive is the business paradigm for the 21st century. Get ahead of the curve with OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 21:46:07] * OliproSELECT is still alive and thriving
  • [2007-02-05 21:46:43] <OliproSELECT> A caring sompany, working products, the way it should be
  • [2007-02-05 21:46:46] <OliproPLUS> Did you know that OliproSELECT is part of a massive Haitian child-trafficking ring?
  • [2007-02-05 21:46:46] * OIiproPLUS blows OliproSELECT to tiny pieces.
  • [2007-02-05 21:46:46] <OliproSELECT> OliproSELECT
  • [2007-02-05 21:46:55] <OIiproPLUS> I did.
  • [2007-02-05 21:46:57] <OliproSELECT> Its the *right* choice
  • [2007-02-05 21:47:12] <OliproSELECT> And not a slanderous company but a goodhearted one
  • [2007-02-05 21:47:27] <OliproPLUS> Did you know that denial is a sign of guilt?
  • [2007-02-05 21:47:37] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS never denies!
  • [2007-02-05 21:47:47] <OIiproPLUS> Aren't you dead?
  • [2007-02-05 21:47:48] <OliproSELECT> Ohohoho, someone is getting defensive...
  • [2007-02-05 21:47:56] <OIiproPLUS> OIiproPLUS blows OliproSELECT to tiny pieces.
  • [2007-02-05 21:48:21] <OliproSELECT> Correct, my competitor admits...
  • [2007-02-05 21:48:23] <OliproSELECT> OIiproPLUS blows
  • [2007-02-05 21:48:47] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS adopts orphans and gives them warm beds to sleep in, unlike some of our orphan-hating competitors
  • [2007-02-05 21:48:51] <OIiproPLUS> die already!
  • [2007-02-05 21:49:23] * LordKaT dies
  • [2007-02-05 21:49:26] <OliproSELECT> OliproPLUS adopts orphans, and then commands them to die
  • [2007-02-05 21:49:44] <OliproSELECT> We here at OliproSELECT, give the orphans a loving home
  • [2007-02-05 21:49:58] <OliproSELECT> and don't wish there immediate deaths
  • [2007-02-05 21:50:09] <Squiggle> What the crap did I miss?
  • [2007-02-05 21:50:15] <OliproSELECT> unlike some other companies out there today
  • [2007-02-05 21:50:19] <OliproPLUS> Are you dead? Are you a feline? And are you a lord of some kind? Then you'll LOVE OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 21:50:48] <OliproPLUS> Hey there, Squiggle! You know which Olipro really connects with the youth of today?
  • [2007-02-05 21:50:52] <OliproSELECT> Are you an incoherent string of letters? Then you'll go bonkers for OliproSELECT!
  • [2007-02-05 21:50:53] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 21:51:10] * Squiggle hides.
  • [2007-02-05 21:51:10] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS doesn't use lame words like "bonkers"
  • [2007-02-05 21:51:14] <OliproSELECT> It's the biggest thing out today
  • [2007-02-05 21:51:19] * OliproPLUS is fresh, cool, and daaaaamn!
  • [2007-02-05 21:51:46] <OliproSELECT> And won't try awkwardly fitting in a market it can't grasp, unlike OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 21:52:07] * OliproPLUS can grasp more markets than ever before!
  • [2007-02-05 21:52:19] <OliproSELECT> Like young childrens right?
  • [2007-02-05 21:52:22] <Squiggle> What have you two done with the real Olipro?
  • [2007-02-05 21:52:31] <OIiproPLUS> And there's TWO of OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 21:52:34] <OliproSELECT> OliproPLUS is a pedophilic supporters company
  • [2007-02-05 21:52:39] <Squiggle> What kind of ransom do you want?
  • [2007-02-05 21:52:44] <OliproPLUS> Don't fall for that pirated version of OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 21:52:47] * Squiggle hands over a nickel.
  • [2007-02-05 21:52:57] <OliproSELECT> 3 easy payments of $19.95
  • [2007-02-05 21:52:57] <OliproPLUS> And don't underpay for OliproSELECT
  • [2007-02-05 21:53:04] <OIiproPLUS> I'm not the pirated copy, you are!
  • [2007-02-05 21:53:11] <OliproSELECT> The only way
  • [2007-02-05 21:53:16] <OliproPLUS> Only OliproPLUS offers you the finest in Olipro for more cash!
  • [2007-02-05 21:53:19] <OIiproPLUS> 1 easy payment of 2 cents!
  • [2007-02-05 21:53:29] <OliproPLUS> It's a priceless status symbol
  • [2007-02-05 21:53:55] * Squiggle attempts to kill the Olipros, hoping to find Original Olipro.
  • [2007-02-05 21:54:09] <OliproPLUS> A major university study shows that people who buy OliproPLUS are ten times less likely to develop osteoporosis than customers of the Leading Brand
  • [2007-02-05 21:54:17] <OIiproPLUS> I'm the origana... *dead*
  • [2007-02-05 21:54:22] <OliproPLUS> (HINT: The leading brand ain't really leading)
  • [2007-02-05 21:54:45] <OliproSELECT> OliproSELECT is a long lasting brand, not a drop-dead after 2 months brand
  • [2007-02-05 21:54:51] <OIiproPLUS> You killed, me...
  • [2007-02-05 21:54:55] <OliproSELECT> Sturdy, reliable, long-lasting...
  • [2007-02-05 21:55:04] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS predates time and shows no wear and tear!
  • [2007-02-05 21:55:14] -->| Spang (i=Spang@80-192-16-123.cable.ubr01.edin.blueyonder.co.uk) has joined #uncyclopedia
  • [2007-02-05 21:55:18] <OliproPLUS> Hey there!
  • [2007-02-05 21:55:21] <Spang> I back
  • [2007-02-05 21:55:28] <OliproPLUS> Do you need more Olipro more of the time?
  • [2007-02-05 21:55:32] <Squiggle> Olipro is being very silly.
  • [2007-02-05 21:55:33] <OIiproPLUS> We win!
  • [2007-02-05 21:55:33] <OliproPLUS> Try OliproPLIS!
  • [2007-02-05 21:55:39] <OliproPLUS> I mean
  • [2007-02-05 21:55:43] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 21:55:50] <OIiproPLUS> never seen that one.
  • [2007-02-05 21:55:52] <OliproSELECT> OliproSELECT
  • [2007-02-05 21:55:58] <OliproSELECT> Its the *right* choice
  • [2007-02-05 21:56:08] <Spang> You know, just today, I was thinking: "I wish my Olipro just had more *colour*, you know?"
  • [2007-02-05 21:56:12] <OliproPLUS> OliproSELECT is the right choice... if you love dying
  • [2007-02-05 21:56:25] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS has the MOST colour to offer!
  • [2007-02-05 21:56:28] <OliproSELECT> And not a slanderous company but a goodhearted one
  • [2007-02-05 21:56:28] <OIiproPLUS> D:
  • [2007-02-05 21:56:37] <Squiggle> I cannae kill them.
  • [2007-02-05 21:57:00] <OliproPLUS> Do you need to kill OliproPLUS?
  • [2007-02-05 21:57:05] <OliproPLUS> Try OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 21:57:12] <OliproPLUS> The best at killing OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 21:57:26] <OliproSELECT> Dethpicible
  • [2007-02-05 21:57:26] <OliproPLUS> Also kills OliproSELECT with equal ease!
  • [2007-02-05 21:57:33] <OIiproPLUS> SELECT has commited lots of slander!
  • [2007-02-05 21:57:45] <OliproSELECT> OliproPLUS is a pedophilic supporters company
  • [2007-02-05 21:57:53] <OliproSELECT> Its the *right* choice
  • [2007-02-05 21:58:07] <Spang> Hmmm... How do I know if OliproPLUS or OliproSELECT is right for me?
  • [2007-02-05 21:58:12] <OIiproPLUS> SELECT IS a pedophile
  • [2007-02-05 21:58:13] <OliproPLUS> It's easy!
  • [2007-02-05 21:58:18] <OliproSELECT> Try a free sample today!
  • [2007-02-05 21:58:22] <OliproPLUS> Which one doesn't make you die of ebola?
  • [2007-02-05 21:58:25] <OliproSELECT> No sign-up nessecary!
  • [2007-02-05 21:58:32] <OliproPLUS> Hahah! That would be OliproPLUS of course!
  • [2007-02-05 21:58:32] <Squiggle> What does it take to kill you two?
  • [2007-02-05 21:58:35] <OIiproPLUS> 284 people all said we win!
  • [2007-02-05 21:58:37] <Squiggle> Besides each other.
  • [2007-02-05 21:58:39] <OliproSELECT> Not a transmitter of AIDS either
  • [2007-02-05 21:58:55] <OliproPLUS> No commitment, sign up today!
  • [2007-02-05 21:59:03] <OliproSELECT> Our stocks are rock solid, like our investors trust
  • [2007-02-05 21:59:14] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS has you sign up, so you know you can trust them
  • [2007-02-05 21:59:42] <OliproSELECT> trust them to sell your name to telemarketers!
  • [2007-02-05 21:59:50] * Squiggle tries a righteous guitar solo to kill them.
  • [2007-02-05 21:59:54] <OliproPLUS> Only the very best telemarketers!
  • [2007-02-05 22:00:00] <OliproSELECT> We here at OliproSELECT condones such actions
  • [2007-02-05 22:00:10] <OliproSELECT> and encourages better ones.
  • [2007-02-05 22:00:18] <OIiproPLUS> I have to go, bye.
  • [2007-02-05 22:00:32] <Spang> Bye, OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 22:00:48] <OliproPLUS> Spang: If you want colour, humour, and an Olipro that will make the neighbors say "Cool! Fresh! DAAAAAAMN!" Then you have to go with OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 22:00:51] <OIiproPLUS> OIiproPLUS, actually.
  • [2007-02-05 22:01:16] <OliproPLUS> That one that said bye is with the letter "i" instead of L
  • [2007-02-05 22:01:20] <OliproPLUS> it's a cheap imitator
  • [2007-02-05 22:01:27] <OliproPLUS> kinda like OliproSELECT!
  • [2007-02-05 22:01:33] <OliproSELECT> OliproSELECT has been around since the 1900s, and is in no rush to leave the market for a quic buck. Our competing Oliproducts are shoddy and rushed
  • [2007-02-05 22:01:36] <OIiproPLUS> I'm the VP of your company you fool!
  • [2007-02-05 22:01:39] =-= OIiproPLUS is now known as zombieninja
  • [2007-02-05 22:02:11] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS uses only the finest resources from the Amazon to craft its Olipros
  • [2007-02-05 22:02:20] |<-- zombieninja has left freenode ()
  • [2007-02-05 22:02:30] <OliproSELECT> Such as Malaria, and diabetes
  • [2007-02-05 22:02:34] <OliproPLUS> OliproSELECT likes to select all right.... it selects LOW POOR QUALITY!
  • [2007-02-05 22:03:12] <OliproSELECT> OliproSELECT likes to select all right.... it selects WHAT *YOU* WANT!!!
  • [2007-02-05 22:03:20] <OliproPLUS> You don't know what you want
  • [2007-02-05 22:03:26] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS does!
  • [2007-02-05 22:03:48] * Squiggle purchases OliproPLUS.
  • [2007-02-05 22:03:51] <OliproPLUS> Only OliproPLUS knows what *you* want and gives it to you before you even realize you want it!
  • [2007-02-05 22:03:53] <Squiggle> Happy now?
  • [2007-02-05 22:04:04] <OliproPLUS> Thank you Squiggle, that will be 1000 quid!
  • [2007-02-05 22:04:19] * Squiggle slaps OliproPLUS.
  • [2007-02-05 22:04:26] <Squiggle> Nevermind.
  • [2007-02-05 22:04:34] <OliproPLUS> Purchase already made
  • [2007-02-05 22:04:45] <OliproPLUS> Thanks for buying OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 22:04:58] <OliproSELECT> We satisfy our customers here at OliproSELECT
  • [2007-02-05 22:05:16] <OliproPLUS> Expect to receive your very own OliproPLUS by express mail within six weeks!
  • [2007-02-05 22:05:19] <OliproSELECT> Spang, enjoy this complimentary free trial of OliproSELECT
  • [2007-02-05 22:05:33] <Spang> I heard that OliproSELECT has spyware in it
  • [2007-02-05 22:05:35] <OliproPLUS> Spang: Do you reall want a trial?
  • [2007-02-05 22:05:43] * Squiggle returns OliproPLUS.
  • [2007-02-05 22:05:45] <OliproPLUS> You know who else had a trial
  • [2007-02-05 22:05:47] <OliproSELECT> From OliproPLUS I presume
  • [2007-02-05 22:05:47] <OliproPLUS> Saddam
  • [2007-02-05 22:05:50] <OliproPLUS> Now he's dead
  • [2007-02-05 22:06:16] <OliproSELECT> who installs rootkits on all their products
  • [2007-02-05 22:06:25] <OliproPLUS> Squiggle: Sorry you were not satisfied with our product. As a consolation, we will keep your money and send back the product free of charge!
  • [2007-02-05 22:06:46] * OliproSELECT > OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 22:07:00] <LordKaT> Fuck, you two must be bored.
  • [2007-02-05 22:07:22] -->| C_Krieger (n=chatzill@71.228.206.211) has joined #uncyclopedia
  • [2007-02-05 22:07:28] <OliproSELECT> Bored enough to give you this free of charge special offer!
  • [2007-02-05 22:07:40] <PrincessCaitlai> Hello C_Krieger
  • [2007-02-05 22:07:52] <OliproPLUS> Boredom giving you the daily blues?
  • [2007-02-05 22:07:59] <OliproPLUS> Try OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 22:08:00] <LordKaT> you've killed a joke before it had a chacne to live.
  • [2007-02-05 22:08:01] <LordKaT> Good job.
  • [2007-02-05 22:08:10] <OliproPLUS> Only OliproPLUS can revive jokes!
  • [2007-02-05 22:08:17] |<-- C_Krieger has left freenode (Client Quit)
  • [2007-02-05 22:08:37] <OliproPLUS> Have a joke that's been run into the ground? It can rise like the pheonix with OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 22:08:51] <OliproPLUS> Other Olipros like to claim they can revive jokes
  • [2007-02-05 22:08:55] <OliproSELECT> OliproPLUS, stop trying.
  • [2007-02-05 22:08:55] <OliproPLUS> But they LIE
  • [2007-02-05 22:09:00] * OliproSELECT is the clear winner
  • [2007-02-05 22:09:09] * OliproPLUS is the clearest winner
  • [2007-02-05 22:09:17] <Squiggle> Actually, only PLUS managed to sell something.
  • [2007-02-05 22:09:19] <OliproSELECT> Only superior products trump inferior companies
  • [2007-02-05 22:09:31] <OliproPLUS> Only OliproPLUS uses superlatives!
  • [2007-02-05 22:09:42] <OliproPLUS> The best superlatives can be yours!
  • [2007-02-05 22:09:47] <OliproPLUS> For the lowest price ever!
  • [2007-02-05 22:09:51] <Squiggle> So I think that the clear winner is me, for buying such a fine product!
  • [2007-02-05 22:10:01] <OliproPLUS> Ain't that the truth, Squiggle!
  • [2007-02-05 22:10:02] <Squiggle> Thanks, OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 22:10:09] <OliproPLUS> No problem, pal.
  • [2007-02-05 22:10:11] <OliproSELECT> Prepositions have gone over the rood here at OliproSELECT!
  • [2007-02-05 22:10:27] * Squiggle flashes a winning smile, a thumbs-up, and winks knowingly.
  • [2007-02-05 22:10:36] <OliproPLUS> You got potential, kid
  • [2007-02-05 22:10:38] * LordKaT staples OliproPLUS to OliproSELECT
  • [2007-02-05 22:10:42] <OliproSELECT> (Don't mention it Squiggle ;) )
  • [2007-02-05 22:10:55] <OliproPLUS> We here at OliproPLUS would like to sign you to a big endorsement deal
  • [2007-02-05 22:10:56] <OliproSELECT> 2 products for the price of 1!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • [2007-02-05 22:11:13] <OliproPLUS> 2,000,000 quid to do five commercials for us
  • [2007-02-05 22:11:52] <OliproPLUS> Squiggle, do you accept?
  • [2007-02-05 22:12:07] <Squiggle> Heck yes.
  • [2007-02-05 22:12:18] * OliproPLUS shakes Squiggle's hand
  • [2007-02-05 22:12:25] <OliproSELECT> They are *charging* you Squiggle
  • [2007-02-05 22:12:29] <OliproPLUS> Shhhhhhh
  • [2007-02-05 22:12:30] <Whiteside> John Oliver just made up an Oscar Wilde quote on The Daily Show
  • [2007-02-05 22:12:45] <Squiggle> I don't care.
  • [2007-02-05 22:13:00] <Whiteside> he's stealing material. what a hack
  • [2007-02-05 22:13:01] <Squiggle> Anything is worth peddling such a fine product as OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 22:13:05] <OliproPLUS> I can see it now: billboards, full page ads in the New York Times
  • [2007-02-05 22:13:12] <Spang> I'd buy anything with Barry Scott in the advert
  • [2007-02-05 22:13:21] <OliproPLUS> BARRY SCOTT ONLY AT OLIPROPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 22:13:31] * OliproSELECT offers a free cap with a spinny thing on the top, Squiggle, will you take this offer?
  • [2007-02-05 22:13:31] <OliproPLUS> ALL BARRY SCOTT ALL THE TIME
  • [2007-02-05 22:13:38] <Spang> Ok, I'm sold
  • [2007-02-05 22:13:46] <--| UNKNOWNFILE has left #uncyclopedia
  • [2007-02-05 22:14:06] * Squiggle flashes a winning smile, a thumbs-up, and winks knowingly.
  • [2007-02-05 22:14:08] <OliproPLUS> Thank you, Spang, for your fine choice
  • [2007-02-05 22:14:21] * LordKaT stuffs Squiggle up OliproSELECT's nose
  • [2007-02-05 22:14:24] <OliproPLUS> Expect your OliproPLUS with a FREE Barry Scott in the mail within six weeks
  • [2007-02-05 22:14:39] <Squiggle> And what a FINE purchase that is!
  • [2007-02-05 22:14:46] * Squiggle flashes a winning smile, a thumbs-up, and winks knowingly.
  • [2007-02-05 22:14:49] <OliproPLUS> Right you are, Squiggle!
  • [2007-02-05 22:15:00] <Spang> Hmmm... is OliproSELECT compatible with OliproPLUS?
  • [2007-02-05 22:15:08] <OliproPLUS> Of course not!
  • [2007-02-05 22:15:08] * Squiggle throws in a free Squiggle with Spang's purchase.
  • [2007-02-05 22:15:18] <OliproPLUS> OliproSELECT is compatible with DEATH
  • [2007-02-05 22:15:20] <OliproPLUS> and that's it
  • [2007-02-05 22:15:21] <LordKaT> (yes they arE)
  • [2007-02-05 22:15:23] <OliproSELECT> Of course, although our competitior denies this
  • [2007-02-05 22:15:34] <OliproSELECT> They hate common sense
  • [2007-02-05 22:15:47] * Squiggle hates common sense.
  • [2007-02-05 22:15:54] <OliproPLUS> Common sense is old hat! Irrationality is the wave of the future!
  • [2007-02-05 22:16:04] <LordKaT> Twisting, turning, through the never
  • [2007-02-05 22:16:10] <Squiggle> We're anything but COMMON here at OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 22:16:31] <OliproPLUS> Remember, only OliproPLUS is fully endorsed by Olipro himself!
  • [2007-02-05 22:16:38] <OliproPLUS> Now that's a name you can trust!
  • [2007-02-05 22:16:45] <Squiggle> Unlike *looks over shoulder* <mockingly>our "competitors"</mockingly>.
  • [2007-02-05 22:17:11] <OliproPLUS> Ha! If we expanded the definition of competitor to include total losers!
  • [2007-02-05 22:17:28] * Squiggle flashes a winning smile, a thumbs-up, and winks knowingly.
  • [2007-02-05 22:17:46] <Spang> Man, if only I didn't have to wait six weeks to get it
  • [2007-02-05 22:17:50] <OliproSELECT> You're my competition PLUS, therefore, the definition applies to you.
  • [2007-02-05 22:17:59] <OliproPLUS> We can get it to you NOW, Spang
  • [2007-02-05 22:18:09] <Spang> Oh really?
  • [2007-02-05 22:18:10] <OliproPLUS> If you choose ULTRA BONUS SUPER SHIPPING
  • [2007-02-05 22:18:24] <OliproPLUS> Only 200 quid more!
  • [2007-02-05 22:18:32] <Spang> Sold!
  • [2007-02-05 22:18:37] * Squiggle throws in a free puppy born circa The Cold War.
  • [2007-02-05 22:18:39] <OliproSELECT> Six weeks!? Fa-Pah. New tech transporters allow instant delivery!
  • [2007-02-05 22:18:43] <OliproPLUS> Alright, here's your OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 22:18:52] <OliproPLUS> Using our newest tech transporters
  • [2007-02-05 22:18:55] <OliproPLUS> and SUPERLATIVES!
  • [2007-02-05 22:19:10] <OliproSELECT> Only 150 quid at OliproSELECT and ANAGRAMS!
  • [2007-02-05 22:19:15] <OliproPLUS> The instantest delivery you can get, only at OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 22:19:20] <OliproPLUS> We have PALINDROMES!
  • [2007-02-05 22:19:27] <OliproPLUS> Cat tac!
  • [2007-02-05 22:19:40] <Squiggle> AMAZING!
  • [2007-02-05 22:19:42] <Squiggle> How could I ever question OliproPLUS's rightful place at the top of the free market?
  • [2007-02-05 22:19:53] <OliproPLUS> You couldn't!
  • [2007-02-05 22:19:59] <OliproSELECT> Our company's spokesman, deathz0r, agrees that OliproSELECT is the right choice!
  • [2007-02-05 22:19:59] <OliproPLUS> That's what's so great about it!
  • [2007-02-05 22:20:09] <OliproPLUS> See? Death!
  • [2007-02-05 22:20:10] <OliproSELECT> Prepositions have gone over the rood here at OliproSELECT!
  • [2007-02-05 22:20:10] * LordKaT stabs Olipro
  • [2007-02-05 22:20:30] <OliproSELECT> A murderous company or the caring company
  • [2007-02-05 22:20:40] <OliproPLUS> Want to stab Olipro? Only OliproPLUS can stab Olipro with 200% more efficiency than the next leading brand
  • [2007-02-05 22:21:06] <Squiggle> As if you could ever consider SELECT to be "leading".
  • [2007-02-05 22:21:10] * OliproSELECT offers twice the array of stabbing tools, which is why its the leading brand
  • [2007-02-05 22:21:10] <OliproPLUS> Ha!
  • [2007-02-05 22:21:29] <Spang> Hmmm, I'm checking out my new OliproPLUS, and it's just not as colourful as I was expecting
  • [2007-02-05 22:21:35] <OliproPLUS> Want less stabbing? Only OliproPLUS can offer LESS stabbing MORE of the time!
  • [2007-02-05 22:21:42] * OliproSELECT is extremely colorful
  • [2007-02-05 22:21:43] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS has a new colour patch!
  • [2007-02-05 22:21:51] <OliproPLUS> 2,300 more colours
  • [2007-02-05 22:21:56] <Squiggle> "why 'its' the leading brand" At least we use more better grammars than SELECT!
  • [2007-02-05 22:21:57] <OliproSELECT> Not black and white like our colorblind competition
  • [2007-02-05 22:22:05] <OliproPLUS> Plus, it's spelled with a "u" so you know it's authentic!
  • [2007-02-05 22:22:30] * Squiggle can smell the authenticity in the comfort of his own home!
  • [2007-02-05 22:22:42] <LordKaT> Squiggle, that's a pussyfart.
  • [2007-02-05 22:23:21] <OliproPLUS> Spang, we can send you our new colour patch free of charge!
  • [2007-02-05 22:23:44] <OliproPLUS> Have feline flatulence? Only OliproPLUS can cure those smellycat blues!
  • [2007-02-05 22:23:45] <Spang> Free? As in beer?
  • [2007-02-05 22:23:45] <OliproSELECT> Unclean products and gimmicky marketers is all you get with OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 22:24:11] <OliproSELECT> With SELECT, you buy it once, you never need to worry about faults that need patching
  • [2007-02-05 22:24:22] <OliproPLUS> Cleanliness is so 90's!
  • [2007-02-05 22:24:44] <OliproPLUS> Get ahead of the game with OliproPLUS, the dirtiest product out today!
  • [2007-02-05 22:24:49] <OliproSELECT> Unlike our PLUS competitors, who prefer to keep their products on lifesupport
  • [2007-02-05 22:24:58] <OliproSELECT> Patch after Patch
  • [2007-02-05 22:25:08] <OliproPLUS> OliproSELECT prefers deathsupport
  • [2007-02-05 22:25:11] <OliproPLUS> they SUPPORT DEAT
  • [2007-02-05 22:25:13] <OliproPLUS> H
  • [2007-02-05 22:25:19] <OliproSELECT> With SELECT, get something reliable
  • [2007-02-05 22:25:20] <OliproPLUS> This cannot stand!
  • [2007-02-05 22:25:26] <Squiggle> NOT DEATH!
  • [2007-02-05 22:25:38] <Squiggle> OR H!
  • [2007-02-05 22:25:39] <OliproSELECT> and not something that needs the extra "H"
  • [2007-02-05 22:25:48] <OliproPLUS> Reliability is for squares! Risk is the name of the game!
  • [2007-02-05 22:26:04] <OliproPLUS> Score a home run with OliproPLUS: Never reliable for maximum fun!
  • [2007-02-05 22:26:11] <OliproSELECT> Risk of looking bad, so the patch is your only backing point
  • [2007-02-05 22:26:19] <OliproSELECT> Charge after charge
  • [2007-02-05 22:26:34] <OliproSELECT> With SELECT, never worry!
  • [2007-02-05 22:26:35] <Spang> I applied the parcg, but now it seems to be leaking toxic radiation
  • [2007-02-05 22:26:41] <Spang> *patch
  • [2007-02-05 22:26:49] <OliproPLUS> That's perfectly normal
  • [2007-02-05 22:27:04] <OliproSELECT> As is usual with PLUS, who covers this up with the delicacy of a gang rape
  • [2007-02-05 22:27:13] |<-- Sgeo has left freenode (Remote closed the connection)
  • [2007-02-05 22:27:17] <OliproPLUS> A major university study shows that toxic radiation may be good for you!
  • [2007-02-05 22:27:45] <Squiggle> And who doesn't trust the research of Quacky McFalserton University?
  • [2007-02-05 22:27:57] <OliproSELECT> Not OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 22:28:07] <wolf> who here is an admin?
  • [2007-02-05 22:28:12] <wolf> I'm trying to remember
  • [2007-02-05 22:28:13] <Spang> I may be tempted to give OliproSELECT a try for a while
  • [2007-02-05 22:28:18] <OliproPLUS> No, Spang!
  • [2007-02-05 22:28:25] <OliproSELECT> You'd make the *right* choice
  • [2007-02-05 22:28:26] <OliproPLUS> We'll give you anything you want
  • [2007-02-05 22:28:30] <OliproPLUS> MORE BARRY SCOTT!
  • [2007-02-05 22:28:32] <OliproPLUS> MORE OF THE TIME!
  • [2007-02-05 22:28:45] <OliproSELECT> We're not desperate here, everythings calm, cool, and collecte
  • [2007-02-05 22:28:47] <OliproSELECT> d
  • [2007-02-05 22:28:52] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS also offers more admins, for wolf-related customers!
  • [2007-02-05 22:29:00] <OliproPLUS> Can OliproSELECT say the same?
  • [2007-02-05 22:29:02] <OliproPLUS> NO!
  • [2007-02-05 22:29:03] <Spang> I've heard tell of a barry scott plugin for OliproSELECT
  • [2007-02-05 22:29:04] <Squiggle> wolf: Spang is an admin.
  • [2007-02-05 22:29:26] <OliproSELECT> Yes, and we're compatible with ALL dead celebrities!
  • [2007-02-05 22:29:27] <Squiggle> No, only the cheap knock-off, Jerry Snot.
  • [2007-02-05 22:29:41] <OliproPLUS> That was another lie from OliproSELECT
  • [2007-02-05 22:29:46] <wolf> so, I made a thing
  • [2007-02-05 22:29:50] <OliproPLUS> Yet Another Lie
  • [2007-02-05 22:29:55] <Spang> Some even say it includes the MOST barry scott, with SUPERLATIVES
  • [2007-02-05 22:30:04] <OliproPLUS> WE HAVE THE MOST BARRY SCOTT EVER
  • [2007-02-05 22:30:05] <OliproSELECT> Only the finest
  • [2007-02-05 22:30:13] <OliproPLUS> We have the BEST Barry Scott
  • [2007-02-05 22:30:20] <OliproPLUS> And the superest superlatives
  • [2007-02-05 22:30:20] <OliproSELECT> And predicitives as well, an exclusive Spang
  • [2007-02-05 22:30:46] <OliproPLUS> We have all the reflexive pronouns yourself could want!
  • [2007-02-05 22:31:08] <OliproSELECT> Would you care for a low proce 50 quid first try Spang?
  • [2007-02-05 22:31:18] <OliproSELECT> Customization welcome.
  • [2007-02-05 22:31:23] <wolf> that is not what I was looking for
  • [2007-02-05 22:31:27] <OliproPLUS> Only 49 quid to stay with OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 22:31:38] <OliproSELECT> In order to match US!!
  • [2007-02-05 22:31:44] <OliproSELECT> ;)
  • [2007-02-05 22:32:01] <OliproPLUS> OliproSELECT lures its customers in with a wink
  • [2007-02-05 22:32:06] <OliproPLUS> and then date rapes them!
  • [2007-02-05 22:32:10] <OliproSELECT> Make the right choice, get the right results
  • [2007-02-05 22:32:19] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS is date rape-free
  • [2007-02-05 22:32:52] <OliproSELECT> Our murder-rate is an approximate 0, compared to OliproPLUS' skyrocketing accounts
  • [2007-02-05 22:33:15] <Spang> I actualy prefer a little date rape sometimes
  • [2007-02-05 22:33:20] <OliproPLUS> What more would you expect from the corporate fatcats at OliproSELECT
  • [2007-02-05 22:33:28] <OliproPLUS> We have the BEST date rape ever!
  • [2007-02-05 22:33:43] <Squiggle> Yummy in the tummy!
  • [2007-02-05 22:33:50] <Spang> But you just said you were date rape-free!
  • [2007-02-05 22:33:56] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS is a family-owned establishment
  • [2007-02-05 22:34:02] <OliproSELECT> As usual, the bipolar partisans at OliproPLUS make desperate catch ups and stumble on their lies
  • [2007-02-05 22:34:14] <OliproPLUS> Bipolar is the way of the future!
  • [2007-02-05 22:34:19] <OliproSELECT> Make the smart choice Spang, make it your to-day!
  • [2007-02-05 22:34:22] <OliproPLUS> Two poles are better than one!
  • [2007-02-05 22:34:24] <Spang> Unless you meant that the date rape is free
  • [2007-02-05 22:34:29] <OliproPLUS> Yes of course!
  • [2007-02-05 22:34:37] <OliproPLUS> Our date rape is complimentary!
  • [2007-02-05 22:34:49] <OliproPLUS> And, shall I say, complementary
  • [2007-02-05 22:35:03] <OliproPLUS> We have the best HOMONYMS!
  • [2007-02-05 22:35:08] <OliproSELECT> That line is sooo QDB'd
  • [2007-02-05 22:35:46] <OliproPLUS> Want more QDB? Try OliproPLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 22:35:50] <OliproSELECT> The desperate ramblings of a tired company
  • [2007-02-05 22:36:12] <OliproSELECT> QDB is freshly stocked at OliproSELECT
  • [2007-02-05 22:36:18] <OliproPLUS> OliprosSELECT is lazy
  • [2007-02-05 22:36:32] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS will do anything to satisfy even the Spangiest of customers!
  • [2007-02-05 22:36:33] * Squiggle can't take it anymore.
  • [2007-02-05 22:36:37] * LordKaT implodes
  • [2007-02-05 22:36:44] <Squiggle> I'VE BEEN LIVING A LIE AT OLIPROplus!
  • [2007-02-05 22:36:49] <OliproPLUS> NO! NO!
  • [2007-02-05 22:36:53] <OliproPLUS> SHHHH!
  • [2007-02-05 22:36:58] <OliproSELECT> OliproPLUS is a slanderous disgrace of a company, proof is in the words
  • [2007-02-05 22:36:58] <OliproPLUS> HERE'S SOME MONEY
  • [2007-02-05 22:37:06] <OliproPLUS> MORE MONEY FOR SQUIGGLE
  • [2007-02-05 22:37:22] * Squiggle takes the money.
  • [2007-02-05 22:37:36] <OliproPLUS> Dontcha love OliproPLUS, Squiggle?
  • [2007-02-05 22:37:38] <Squiggle> THEY DATE RAPED ME AT OLIPROplus!
  • [2007-02-05 22:38:04] <Squiggle> AND KILLED A DOLPHIN BEFORE MY OWN EYES!
  • [2007-02-05 22:38:11] <LordKaT> but you enjoyed it.
  • [2007-02-05 22:38:11] <Squiggle> I'M SCARRED!
  • [2007-02-05 22:38:22] <OliproSELECT> OliproSELECT Can care for all date-rape and animal cruelty emotional scarring
  • [2007-02-05 22:38:38] * Squiggle hides under the protection of OliproSELECT.
  • [2007-02-05 22:38:50] <OliproSELECT> The caring company
  • [2007-02-05 22:38:52] <Squiggle> So warm...
  • [2007-02-05 22:39:12] <Squiggle> Like a dolphin... At least, a LIVE one.
  • [2007-02-05 22:39:25] <Spang> Hey, I've found a crack that lets me run OliproPLUS and OliproSELECT simultaneously within a main Olipro environment
  • [2007-02-05 22:39:36] <OliproSELECT> *GASP*
  • [2007-02-05 22:39:42] <OliproPLUS> OliproSELECT spreads lies and lures over our most famous endorsers!
  • [2007-02-05 22:39:51] <Spang> For FREE!
  • [2007-02-05 22:39:56] <OliproPLUS> WHAT?!?!?
  • [2007-02-05 22:40:07] <Squiggle> At least here I feel like I have a father, PLUS!
  • [2007-02-05 22:40:13] <OliproSELECT> WHAT!?!?!?!
  • [2007-02-05 22:40:17] <OliproPLUS> PLUS HAS THE MOST FATHERS
  • [2007-02-05 22:40:34] <Squiggle> More than one is just gay.
  • [2007-02-05 22:40:35] <OliproSELECT> You kill the familys you know, and take the fathers away...
  • [2007-02-05 22:40:39] <Squiggle> I only need one.
  • [2007-02-05 22:40:44] <LordKaT> Which one comes with a three day radio-shack approved batteryless waranty?
  • [2007-02-05 22:40:48] <OliproPLUS> I meant Best fathers
  • [2007-02-05 22:40:57] * OliproSELECT does
  • [2007-02-05 22:41:01] <OliproPLUS> We have only the radioshackiest warranties
  • [2007-02-05 22:41:09] <LordKaT> OliproSELECT is for me! \o/
  • [2007-02-05 22:41:28] <OliproPLUS> OliproSELECT spys on our meetings and steals our innovations!
  • [2007-02-05 22:41:45] <LordKaT> Good! A competative edge! I like that.
  • [2007-02-05 22:41:51] <OliproSELECT> the SELECT store for your SELECT needs.
  • [2007-02-05 22:41:51] <OliproPLUS> But we do it more!
  • [2007-02-05 22:42:02] <OliproPLUS> We spy on them every minute of every day!
  • [2007-02-05 22:42:05] <OliproSELECT> And in moderation
  • [2007-02-05 22:42:12] * Squiggle forms his own company.
  • [2007-02-05 22:42:16] <LordKaT> Which one will allow me to consume alcohol?
  • [2007-02-05 22:42:20] <OliproPLUS> WE WILL
  • [2007-02-05 22:42:21] * OliproSELECT shall
  • [2007-02-05 22:42:27] =-= Squiggle is now known as OlipBONUS
  • [2007-02-05 22:42:30] <OliproPLUS> WE USE CAPS SO YOU KNOW WE'RE SINCERE
  • [2007-02-05 22:42:43] =-= OlipBONUS is now known as OliproBONUS
  • [2007-02-05 22:42:49] <OliproSELECT> We use plaintext to show we're normal
  • [2007-02-05 22:42:55] <OliproPLUS> Now that the market has been flooded with imitators, there is only one true beacon of light
  • [2007-02-05 22:43:00] <OliproBONUS> I uSe BoTh!
  • [2007-02-05 22:43:01] <OliproPLUS> And that's OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 22:43:14] <OliproBONUS> I'm FuCkInG cRaZy!
  • [2007-02-05 22:43:24] <OliproSELECT> You mean OliproSELECT
  • [2007-02-05 22:43:26] <OliproBONUS> BONUS is for the whole family.
  • [2007-02-05 22:43:33] <LordKaT> I'm too fucking tired to differentiatebetween the different Olipro's
  • [2007-02-05 22:43:36] <LordKaT> Good night.
  • [2007-02-05 22:43:45] -->| OliproEXPRESS (i=a254c687@gateway/web/cgi-irc/irc.wikia.com/x-119ee29f58a7c151) has joined #uncyclopedia
  • [2007-02-05 22:43:46] <OliproSELECT> Goodnight
  • [2007-02-05 22:43:57] <OliproBONUS> from L'il Juniper jr. to Ol' Grampa Joe!
  • [2007-02-05 22:43:57] <OliproPLUS> We offer sleep at low low prices!
  • [2007-02-05 22:43:58] <OliproSELECT> And enjoy the complimentary select pillow
  • [2007-02-05 22:44:14] <OliproEXPRESS> ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO EXPRESS
  • [2007-02-05 22:44:18] * OliproBONUS buys out PLUS and SELECT.
  • [2007-02-05 22:44:29] <OliproEXPRESS> YOU HAVE NO TIME TO MAKE YOUR BUY
  • [2007-02-05 22:44:38] <OliproSELECT> Gasp
  • [2007-02-05 22:44:44] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS is not a public company!
  • [2007-02-05 22:44:50] <OliproBONUS> You're owned by me now, peons.
  • [2007-02-05 22:45:00] * OliproBONUS whips PLUS.
  • [2007-02-05 22:45:02] <OliproSELECT> OliproPLUS is a date-rape evil corporation
  • [2007-02-05 22:45:06] <OliproEXPRESS> HAHAHA
  • [2007-02-05 22:45:24] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS is a date-rape *good* corporation
  • [2007-02-05 22:45:27] <OliproBONUS> SELECT, you are mine. I bought you.
  • [2007-02-05 22:45:33] <OliproPLUS> No evil date-rape
  • [2007-02-05 22:45:44] * OliproSELECT is owned by the SELECT family
  • [2007-02-05 22:45:54] <OliproEXPRESS> TAKE OFF EVERY ZIG
  • [2007-02-05 22:45:58] <OliproBONUS> ... Which I bought.
  • [2007-02-05 22:46:09] * OliproPLUS TAKES OFF MORE ZIGS, FASTER!
  • [2007-02-05 22:46:13] <OliproSELECT> ...in your dreams
  • [2007-02-05 22:46:32] <OliproEXPRESS> YOUR TO BE MAKING BAD JOKE IN 2021
  • [2007-02-05 22:46:55] <OliproBONUS> It was a hostile peaceful takeover.
  • [2007-02-05 22:47:01] <OliproPLUS> OliproPLUS is fully endorsed by the original Olipro
  • [2007-02-05 22:47:10] <OliproPLUS> Family owned for 10,000 years
  • [2007-02-05 22:47:14] * OliproSELECT is better than OliproPLUS
  • [2007-02-05 22:47:15] <OliproPLUS> Since the Earth was created
  • [2007-02-05 22:47:24] <OliproSELECT> No matter what
  • [2007-02-05 22:48:01] <OliproEXPRESS> HAHAHA
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