User:Rabidsloth

My name is Rabidsloth, and yes, I'm everything that my name implies. Born in 1921 in the deep African forests, I immigrated to the US during the Scourge of the Sloth in 1946 as part of the "Save Those Pathetic Sloths From Getting Raped" Act passed by Congress in 1939. Shortly after arriving in the US I was captured by the US government, the same people who saved me from iminent molestation just a few years before. The government kept me in a secret science facility a million miles below the Earth's crust. In this facility they performed all sorts of tests on me, everything from dumping cereal on my head (and yes there was milk in the bowl), probing me with spatulas, and eventually attempting to get me to mate with a Rabid Shlarnkey (Shlarnkey's will be introduced at a later time when I'm emotionally stable enough to talk about the subject.) As a result to this unnatural sexual situation that I was put in, I was diagnosed with Rabies shortly. With my new found powers of foaming from the mouth and acting very intimidating, I was able to escape by means that I cannot disclose at this time. Since that day I've been a completely different sloth.