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How to Write for a Newspaper

You want your readers to feel like they have been hit with this after they have finished reading your work.

Deciding to Write

So here you stand at a great crossroad of life,GED certificate in hand. Maybe you are eager to make your ark on the world, or you are tired of Uncyclopedia and want to try your hand at a respecable perodical that has a mean reader age of 72. This guide will help your broke ass talents flourish through the art of print journalism.

Finding A Topic

The best way to discover a topic is to look inside yourself and pick a topic close to your heart. No seriously, wait you just want to get rich by milking tragedies?

Just quit whining, the clown is enjoying it

Great, I like your style. Relax it ain't fucking rocket surgery, Professionals select topics that readers want to hear about like sports, fast cars, Chuck Norris, free healthcare, Iraq, pancakes,and porn.