User:Phrage/UnNews:Arizona Liver Solution

Jan Brewer's next proposal is to snip a lobe off all the livers of illegal immigrants in the state before shipping them back to Mexico or other country of origin. This will have the dual benefit of providing many free livers and rendering the donors unlikely to be able to attempt re-entry again. It will be called the crafty shuttle program.

Jan is also considering a novel plan from an enterprising prison doctor to harvest lobes and whole livers from live or dead prison inmates in return for either reduced sentences or internet access. Dr. Marcus Mingley of the Schering-Plough prison initiative believes the swollen excised livers could be cooked and sold as Foie Gras d'Arizone -a delicious and ethical alternative to cruelty to geese. Prisoners will also be trained to assist in operations which will be conducted within the prisons and thus save on nurses. Brewer hopes the program will expand to offer an attractively priced service to wealthy medical tourists and a package called Liver'n'Live it up is already taking bookings in co-operation with Native American casino owners many of whom will also be customers.