User:Olifri

--Under Construction--

Born a prokaryotic organism approximately 3 billion years ago, User:Olifri has steadily evolved over the ages to adapt to his environment. Currently he is in the shape of a human--an extremely well endowed, physically captivating human, but as for his next manifestation, well who knows? He does. But he won't tell you. Why? Because you're a godless heathen destined to spend eternity in hell suffering for your numerous sins on earth. Yeah, I've been watching you motherfucker. Don't worry about trying to make up for any wrongs now--I've talked with the Big Guy, there's no way you're getting out of this now. Enjoy your miserable existence on earth asshole, it will be but a faint and distant spark on your eternal journey of darkness and suffering, a journey not so far away. Well, now that we've gotten to know each other I hope we can be friends.