User:OSync/Sandbox 6
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Troy AAAAAAA, a very narrow city, and sometimes called Troy 7A, was built about five miles from the Bucephelus, after the Trojans finally realized how vulnerable they were so close to invading Viking barbarians on the water. The move didn't work. They finally captured fair Helen[1] and brought her back to Scandanavia which is why today, so many of them have blond/e hair and blue eyes and the Greeks don't.
The nearby sea was called "The Phosphorus" because it was so polluted with oil that it caught fire one time. People are slow to forget these things.
Standard & Poor gave it the rating of AAAAAAA just prior to the city's collapse, which brought about questions of how S&P rated bonds. This is still under investigation.
There weren't many people back then, so everybody only had one name like "Paris", for example. You didn't have to say "Pilastre de Paris" or "Paris Hilton" or anything like that. If you just said "Paris" everybody knew who you were talking about. Some of those names come down to us today; "Paris" as a city, "Ajax" as a cleanser, "Priapus" as a car, "Trojan" as a conundrum, "Cassandra" as a cassandra, "Midas" as a muffler. Whatever.
People who lived in the region of Troy were known as "Toads." This made them mad as hell and warlike which was unfortunate since they always lost, which is why there are so many "levels" of Troy, all of which got burnt by somebody else or maybe due to a mediocre fire department. Nobody knows at this late date. Or maybe they worshipped the Fire God, Arson[2], with too much enthusiasm.
It was Henrich Schliemel who discovered Troy after it somehow got lost. Hard for us to imagine how the ancients could lose cities. Like misplacing Perth Amboy or something. One day just driving to the end of your mapquest directions and finding your destination "gone!"
Anyway, Schliemel, an amateur archeologist had absolutely no problem sorting out the remains since the Trojans had carefully labeled all their bricks with the inscription of which model of Troy it came from. So the first one was "Troy I, the second one "Troy II", etc. There was a small problem when the die slipped for "Troy IIa" and "Troy IIb." The excavators couldn't read the ending letter very clearly. This led to the now famous question "IIb" or not "IIb." This could be asked about "IIa" just as easily, but usually isn't.
Somewhat embarrassingly, Schliemel "proved" that Homer Simpson lived in Troy, rather than (as we know today) in Springfield, Vermont.
After being burned out by the neighbors 13 times in 3000 years, the Trojans finally moved away. Some people just can't take a hint.
The Freeze was a brilliant contribution of the Toads to modern architecture. It cooled off the surrounding area considerably. Lord Timex, under a mandate from the League of Nations, took the Freeze back to Berlin where is disappeared during WWII. Everyone assumes the Russians took it, but they deny everything. They always do, don't they?
This is why, today, the area is so freaking hot when you visit it in August.
Considerable doubt was cast on Schlimel's dating scheme when he was digging through the ruins of Troy V, IV, III, II and throwing them all away as useless.[3] He stumbled on a 1957 Ford Fairlane in mint condition. Schiemel became a laughingstock, and red-faced, retired .